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  1. Can fat people be attractive? (I'm a fat person)

    1424797768
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2072
    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    Hugs to everyone who has body issues I am about 13/14/15 stone but hate mirrors am size 18/20 sexy 'underwater I go bigger I'm now 48 finally after years of hating my body got told from 13 I was fat, stupid would never get any were I accept my size. Today I dye my hair have 007 and a Tardis tattoo. Society can go to hell now, I dress as I please t shirts and jeans don't do make up. Hubby loves me for me.

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    magicnumber69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 235
    • Joined: 17 Jun 2013

    First off, you DO NOT deserve any crap from anyone about your weight or how you look; it's none of their business and if they have nothing pleasant or civil to say, they should back the f*** off and keep their snide remarks to themselves.

    Secondly, any fat person can be beautiful, as much as any thin or slender person can be ugly, although that really depends on who's definition of those term you're going on.

    I'm fat. I'm around 24stones/135-ish kg and by medical definition, I fall into the boundary between very overweight and obese. I am 6'3"/189-ish cm, so some claim I don't look all that heavy, which I guess is an advantage. But either way, what my gf has seen of me (we're long-distance, atm), she adores and thinks I'm very good-looking. My gf is also overweight, but also gets a lot of stick from certain family members, which has made her terribly self-conscious. But again, what she's been brave enough to show me of herself, I think she's gorgeous; she has a beautiful face, mesmerising green eyes, perhaps the sexiest lips I've ever seen, and incredible dark mane of hair (although she's naturally blonde) and THE most alluring neck and shoulders, that SO bring out the vampire in me! And, from what she's teased me with, simply gorgeous and tempting breasts (and I'm a 'bum' guy, by nature!) but other than for her eyes and hair, she simply doesn't see it and, for now at least, daren't show me any lower than that divine cleavage.

    (Sorry if I'm embarrassing you, darling, if you're reading this!)

    My point is, in the eyes of the right partner, you're pretty much without fault. I adore my gf; she's a natural, genuinely beautiful woman, in my eyes. I can't stop thinking about her and when I'm with her, I'm very likely to kneel at her feet and worship her as a goddess! By the sound of things, your fiance feels just the same about you; you're his goddess and he adores you, for everything you are, everything you mean to him and for how YOU make him feel. He loves you and if you feel good in your own skin and at least reasonably happy with the woman you are...

    ...then the rest of the world can go f*** themselves!
    (figuratively speaking!)

    Stay beautiful!

    1424839528
    Blueeyes82 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1128
    • Joined: 19 Sep 2010

    Sorry to hear of your troubles, I know exactly how you feel BUT embrace what you do have. You have a loving partner, which is more than most people have.

    In 2011 I was diagnosed with PTSD, I had lived with this since 2007 but kept being misdiagnosed or brushed off. I am a mother to 2 wonderful boys but a single parent and I am over weight. I have had some major health issues over the years, had to have my gallbladder and a kidney removed after I had my 2nd son and now have an immune deficiency, which is more of a killer with getting colds and such too much :(

    Anyway, I am also a blogger, I am 5"10 and a size 24. My weight yoyo's big time but I never go past a certain weight. I can diet, I can cut out food but if I do not exercise, it just isn't worth the dieting.

    I was discharged from my PTSD last year in may, my bad times of that side were finally over but then my anxiety grew more, I developed agrophobia etc. I find it much easier to leave the house at night, when it is quiet and no one can really see me, so this is when I take my dog out for his walks.

    In January, I vowed to finally get off my arse and sort my self out, I purchased a cross training machine, good pair of trainers and work out gear.

    I used to be mega fit, I was in the armed forces, could run a mile and a half in 11 minutes and loved boxing etc and now I look at myself and think 'wtf have you done'.

    But you know what, since blogging, I have become more confident in myself (which is the key to this), people all over the world have made me realize that it doesn't really care what size you are, if someone is a decent person and finds you attractive, you could be a size 6 or a size 20.

    I live on daily medication and I am not ashamed of that, it is what allows me to get out and about and do what I do. I am also on 40mg of propranalol, which is a beta blocker that i am supposed to take 3 times daily but I only take it when I need it (not a big fan of taking meds tbh). An hour before I leave the house, I take my first tablet, I chill out and when I do go out, my heart isn't racing 300mph's and I can do what i do.

    My advice would be that if you are feeling unhappy or low within yourself, step up. Visit your GP, talk to him/her about your problems, depression isn't a thing to be ashamed of. They can even help with refering you to an NHS (if you're UK) dietition, which are fab. GP's can also apply for you to get either a free gym pass (if on full benefits) or I think it's 25% off fees.

    Sorry if I come across a bit harsh but I felt I had to explain certain aspects to show you, life can work out x

    1424847707
    ilikepussy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 211
    • Joined: 24 May 2012

    My wife is a 20, she is curveous and the sexiest woman I have ever met
    She is allergic to mil, only found out and has gone down 3 dress add sizes.

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    thehornyHs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 7 Dec 2014

    I feel for you as I too suffer from anxiety and depression. I was sexual assaulted when I was a teen and suffered from mental and physical abuse growing up and had it drummed in my head that I was a fat waste of space while growing up. I know very well that if your told something enough it sticks in your mind...

    It never leaves you and niggles in the back of your mind but I like you have a loving husband and beautiful kids... thats gotta count for something clearly they see how beautiful you are.

    It took me getting to rock bottom then fighting my way back up to see this.... skinny doesn't mean sexy! It took a lot of counciling for me to realise that but listen to your hubby and let him help u see what he sees xxx

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    tider [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 253
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2014

    iam 18 stone and 5 7tall and describe myself as fat and ugly.and single its hard to taken a compliment have start online dating one guy sent me a message you must be joking but iam now talked to 5 guys online ok so maybe taking the piss but is i got a good ego boost it seems to be the more confident you are the sexy you are

    1433315752
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6794
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2015

    Firstly your fiancé loves you and I think it's great that you have someone to be with and that cares about you. You can be fat and sexy. I think sexy is a state of mind, and to be honest nuts to anyone who doesn't like me the way I am.

    I'm 18 stone, fat legs, big tummy (hard to hide) but pleasingly bit tits. My OH is 25 stone (ish) and we are VERY happy together. I was abused mentally and physically but thankfully not sexually, as a child by my father. And I have some issues related to this (some ocd comfort eating lack of confidence). I have been both anarexic and hole in while younger (mush younger in my teens) and I don't have a good relationship with food.

    But my OH is great he doesn't want to know about my past (he know what he needs to) and we very much live for today. My biggest achievement is that I am now happy in my own skin. I could be a nudist if I didn't live in the centre of a city. I don't care what other people think of me, how I look and what my weight is. I do try to keep it in check, but it's hard.

    If you can learn to be happy with yourself then your confidence will come from nowhere, you don't need other people's approval, your a person in your own right, and if other people can't appreciate you for who you are then it is their loss.

    Winston Chuchill had a great quote ( can't remember exactly how it goes but it is along the lines of this) a woman in the audience shouts "your drunk" Churchill replies "yes. . . But you are ugly, and in the morning I shall be sober, but you will still be ugly". We are none of us perfect and believe me I know some very pretty thin ladies that are grumpy self-centred and unhappy people. The only person that can truly stop you being happy is you. So put your jiggles balls in, your headphones on and walk round the block all on your own, you CAN do it.

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    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    I really hate the word FAT... what does that really mean anyway other than a negative way to describe ours or another person's body.

    No matter what someone's weight there is beauty, espcially in your soul and attitude sexually. Here is a not so well kept secret, I don't know ONE woman in my circle of close friends and family that does not have body issues even the so called "skinny" ones.

    Be the best you and get comfortable in your own skin and accpet the love your fiancee offers, he sounds like a wonderful person.

    1433318111
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    I really hate the word FAT... what does that really mean anyway other than a negative way to describe ours or another person's body.

    No matter what someone's weight there is beauty, espcially in your soul and attitude sexually. Here is a not so well kept secret, I don't know ONE woman in my circle of close friends and family that does not have body issues even the so called "skinny" ones.

    Be the best you and get comfortable in your own skin and accpet the love your fiancee offers, he sounds like a wonderful person.

    Definitely a huge +1. Extremely well said Vanessa :) x

    1433320723
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    A bit of an old thread but yes curvey women are very attactive to me. Given the choice I would rather have a bit of meat than a stick insect.

    1433322336
    Love playtime. [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
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    • Joined: 30 Sep 2014

    Hello.

    I'll try not to repeat what everyone else has already said but it's all good advice.

    What I would emphasise is diet. I would highly recommend you go see a dietican and review your daily intake.

    You'll be surprised at how much weigh you could shift by simply eating sensibly.

    For years I've been eating toast and full fat milk. I stopped eating toast and have now moved to semiskinned milk and I went from a 36" to a 33" waist. No exercise I kid you not.

    A kick start like that may be just the boost you need to help you down a happier path.

    1433499985
    Lovehoney - Sian [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 14 May 2015

    Sorry if this has already been said but this thread is so long I cant read all the messages! But take a look at Tess Munster. Shes a really successful plus size model. She has over 44,000 followers on Twitter and looks HOT!

    http://tessmunster.com/index.html

    1494628363
    Reg90 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 597
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2015

    I personally am always attracted to the plus size models and lingerie on LH. My partner isn't a large lady, however, if she was it would not bother me in the slightest. I think curvacious women are incredibly sexy and I often fantasise about getting intimate with a larger lady. Size really doesn't bother me....

    So whatever size body you have, be proud, you look amazing and can still get your oh incredibly excited in sexy lingerie.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and your oh will love you for you.

    1494635792
    Kink Vixen [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 2 Dec 2014

    Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder so it is really only your own self image you need to change. Like others have mentioned, confidence is key! A hair cut or hair dye may help boost your self confidence. I like wearing vests as they make me feel stronger while also being quite flattering. It is also possible that some of the people staring at you are doing so because you're hot, not because you think you're fat.

    Calorie wise it sounds like you're doing the right thing but not burning enough off. Excercise is obviously easier if you can leave the house but there are ways to excercise at home. I like dancing which has the added bonus of helping me to feel sexy! You could also do aerobics, weights, etc. Drink lots of water as it flushes out the system. Fizzy drinks (even diet ones) bloat you and can cause weight gain.

    It sounds like your weight gain is due to the stress of having to face your childhood trauma & perhaps that has a lot to do with your anxiety & self esteem issues too. Having had similar issues myself I believe that I subconsciously wanted to appear unattractive as a self defense mechanism hence my weight gain. Have you had counselling? If not, It could help? You survived something awful, whatever flaws you have are understandable and you should forgive yourself whilst recognizing the inner strength you obviously have in spades. You survived it when you were young, you survived the recent events & you have enough strength to want to change and post about it here looking for help.

    I am a plus size woman but I am considered very attractive and get a lot of male attention. I don't usually bother with make up or fancy clothes. I just try to focus on positive things (positivity shines through) and I have built up confidence and self esteem in recent years which is the only real change but makes all the difference! Love yourself, you deserve it!

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Without doubt .I have chatted with a few plus size admirers and they all came across as sexy to me because they were confident.

    1494673158
    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a open and friendly forum isn't it? So I presume I can say what I think, there you go:

    First of all I don't like the word fat. I know what I'm saying because I've been there and struggled with my weight for years, in and out of crazy, fad diets, counting calories and so on ... try to fit in a kind of beauty standard imposed by the media. That is just crap (pardon my English) and doesn't work on a long term. By the way I hate the word skinny as well, it's sick in my view.

    In my opinion you've got to accept and love yourself as a person, your weight is just a part of you as a human being, it's not what you are. Ok it's important that we like what we see when we look in the mirror, but I tell you what your perception of yourself can be wrong even when other people say that you look great. I got to be sickly slim and I felt horrible everytime I looked at myself in the mirror, in a window-shop, that was an obsession.

    Yes you can totally be sexy and attractive even if you are "fat", but you have to turn around the way you feel about yourself. Try to get out there, concentrate on being healthy (you know a "fat " person who exercises and eats well is fitter and healthier than a "slim" one who eats rubbish and sits all day long?). That's the truth and I know because I work with fitness and nutrition and I see that all the time.

    I'm heavy because I gave up losing weight, but I exercise a lot and I try to eat sensibly so I've muscles which weight more than fat. I flaunt my body and I feel very confident. My Oh is 19 stones and I think he's very sexy even with his big beer belly, I love that. I'd never dismiss a guy because some people think he's fat. Confidence and a great personality are more important than any perfect sized body.

    And last but not least, trust your Oh when he/she says they like your body and they have no problem with that because they mean. I mean that with my Oh so I trust other people do too.

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    Shouganai [sign in to see picture]
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    I noticed a few people being against the word "Fat", and I'm a little confused why. Don't get me wrong- I'm not saying someone deemed "Skinny" is going to have a harder time (I can't generalise given so many variables like cultural values of attractiveness, the individual's personality affecting how people view them, etc.).

    I don't hate the word fat. But I DO hate how it's made to have negative connotations. What the flip is wrong with being fat ? It's disappointing to know that such a large portion of the world views "fat" and being fat as a bad thing (outside of health concerns, obviously).
    Fat can be every bit as beautiful and sexy as any other body descriptive. (Y'know why I didn't say funny, smart, etc. ? Because fat doesn't affect personality. And if people are disregarding someone based on appearance regardless of whether it's "fat" labels or anything else, then they're too ugly for anyone to have to deal with. Well done, if you're fat, because chances are you have a built-in super-powered jack*ss filter).

    All the comments here will be filled with support and advice and such, but I just wanted to add onto this by reminding anyone struggling with body issues... The perception and ideals of beauty are ever changing. Even if you don't feel so great about your aesthetics now- at some point you will. Whether that be by embracing what you have, working with it, working against it, conforming to the latest trend, or creating your own... your time will come, so please hang in there as best you can ?

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    Fredster [sign in to see picture]
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    From a guys point of view here .. no matter what size you are we all get shit about it .. I wasn't really huge but was 3.5 stone overweight for a while..I was called fat and joked about by family and friends .. I started running and lost the weight..down to 11stone and looking and feeling healthier than ever but now I get ..oh your too thin u need to put weight on .. ffs you really can't win in this day and age ..

    just be happy with yourself and f..k the rest of the world and their opinions .. if you feel sexy in yourself then that's all that counts ..

    everyone has their own takes on sexy .. we can't all like the same...it wouldn't work

    personally I'm very picky..hence why I'm still bleedin single at 50 🤣🤣🤣

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    More Sexy at 50 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm also very sorry to hear about your troubles and I hope you can get closure. Can I also echo that you should always seek professional help, be it a GP, counsellor or therapist; relate offer excellent services.

    To your specific question about whether fat or curvy people can be attractive, then I say yes. My weight and my OH's weight has varied dramatically (+ 6 stone at the extreme) over the 36 years we have been together brought on by family, work, stress, depression..... I've found my OH's curves to be very sexy especially her curvatious bum (doggy position definitely gets my hot), but of course she doesn't believe me, she hates her bum. My OH has lost a lot of weight over the last 2 years, she still hates her bum, and to top it all she now complains her boobs are too small. I have no complaints at all, loved her when she was heavier, still love her when she is lighter. So I think the key thing is that you have to believe you are sexy if you want to be/feel sexy. There are many posts here saying they love curvatious woman, and I'm one of them, so please take confidence from these honest views and believe you are sexy :)

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    tinytheturtle [sign in to see picture]
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    I loike the ladies to have some meat on their bones and dont call them fat. I call them plumpers

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