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  1. Can you be friends with your ex?

    1299687054
    sealady [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 21 Apr 2010

    Laveila wrote:

    I am friends with both ex, but not really that close, but we do meet each other for a coffee and talk and there is no hard feeling. Plus me and one are in similar academic discipline and it is likely that we will run into each other, so better be nice than with hard feelings. But it took some time and for a while we did not talk. I never thought of getting them back, as I know it would not work. Surprisingly enough took them more time to get over me than me over them. Which was funny, considering he left because of another woman.

    I am also friends with my ex! We do have kids and so that is our main link. We are still pretty good friends and often meet up at the pub, actually spent a few days together at christmas together with the kids. We still have quiet a bit in common but I can honestly say I could never go back to him. He's left me for another woman who then left him. I was the person he came running to when his relationship went pair shaped.

    It does make it easier when you have kids if you can get on with your ex, but it's not easy and not for everyone.

    1299687382
    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think maybe it depends on the people involved, and how things ended between you.

    I'm not currently friends with anyone I've had a serious relationship with, but I am friends with someone I once slept with on a couple of occasions. In this case, we were friends before this, and reverted (eventually) to friends again aftwards, albeit with that awkward period in between.

    I am also still friends with a girl who used to have the biggest crush on me when we were both younger. We did go out once, but I couldn't reciprocate any more than friendship with her, so we went back to just being friends. In a bizarre twist of fate, she is now also the best friend of my wife.

    What tangled webs we weave!

    1299687884
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    toycar69 wrote:

    I think maybe it depends on the people involved, and how things ended between you.

    I'm not currently friends with anyone I've had a serious relationship with, but I am friends with someone I once slept with on a couple of occasions. In this case, we were friends before this, and reverted (eventually) to friends again aftwards, albeit with that awkward period in between.

    I am also still friends with a girl who used to have the biggest crush on me when we were both younger. We did go out once, but I couldn't reciprocate any more than friendship with her, so we went back to just being friends. In a bizarre twist of fate, she is now also the best friend of my wife.

    What tangled webs we weave!

    Maybe she's just playing the long game.

    1299687937
    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 24 Apr 2010

    I'm friendly with pretty much all of mine, although I don't keep in touch with most, just moving around and then not moving in the same circles any more. Hell, my best friend's an ex, although we only dated for like a month and it wasn't exactly serious. Athough none of them were overly horrible, made some bad choices or had dickish moments or just didn't suit me, sure, but they're good folk. Only one I get kinda wonky with is my kid's father, because he's an idiot, and weak, and selfish, and I have to fight both the fact that I can't abide anyone mistreating my child (even if it is only in little ways like promising to show up and then not bothering), and the embarassment that I actually went out with that and can't avoid letting everyone see how dumb I was.

    1299689600
    ju [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Feb 2011

    nope. no, noooooooo. i have better things to do with my time.............

    1299796927
    Markedman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 28 Nov 2008

    Yes, we have needed to be as we are both hooked up with people in our shared circle of friends. I think not having kids and just being able to let go helps.

    We are not exactly friends, but we have worked hard not to become enemies.

    1299807703
    Doug [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    • Joined: 4 Jun 2010

    Yes, although i am only with one, and its complicated but at the end of the day we are still friends which is nice

    1299807942
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    We weren't friends to begin with.

    1299839969
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 8 Nov 2010

    sealady wrote:

    Laveila wrote:

    I am friends with both ex, but not really that close, but we do meet each other for a coffee and talk and there is no hard feeling. Plus me and one are in similar academic discipline and it is likely that we will run into each other, so better be nice than with hard feelings. But it took some time and for a while we did not talk. I never thought of getting them back, as I know it would not work. Surprisingly enough took them more time to get over me than me over them. Which was funny, considering he left because of another woman.

    I am also friends with my ex! We do have kids and so that is our main link. We are still pretty good friends and often meet up at the pub, actually spent a few days together at christmas together with the kids. We still have quiet a bit in common but I can honestly say I could never go back to him. He's left me for another woman who then left him. I was the person he came running to when his relationship went pair shaped.

    It does make it easier when you have kids if you can get on with your ex, but it's not easy and not for everyone.

    Well, I think it is genereally more easier when you have any kind of links. If you are in danger of running into each other often, you have good motivation to try to establish good friendship, after the innitial hard period.

    1299845753
    Postillionager [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 24 Apr 2010

    I am on good terms with many of my exes, I don't see a massive amount of them but it's nice to exchange the odd email or text. I see some of them occasionally and it's really nice to catch up. It tends to get easier once some time has elapsed.

    Of course some people I've just lost touch with. And then there's the ones who were always problematic even when we were together, I prefer not to hear from them cause it's usually troublesome. But generally I am very happy to bump into an ex, we usually have a big hug and a good gossip. I really value the friendship of someone who has been a lover, we don't inhabit each other's worlds any more but we still share a special bond.

    1299849951
    Inara14 [sign in to see picture]
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    I still live in the same room at uni with my ex.....But were best friends now. Although it must look a little strange at times.

    1299864184
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    hornster wrote:

    I absolutely will not have anything to do with my ex. We parted on very bad terms so the idea of being friends with her is abhorrent to me.

    Anyway, I'm with Mrs H now and have been for 7 years so why would I maintain contact with an ex?

    H

    I think like that also. I just don't think there's any need to remain friends with any exes. Although it's different when you have children etc. I don't have many exes really before my partner that were serious relationships. I have had crushes that I were friends with but I don't have any reasons to remain in contact.

    My partner and I prefer it that way. Why complicate things? Doesn't help we both get jealous quite easily lol. He has more of a track record and I have expressed my feelings quite clearly on exes. He agrees wholeheartedly.

    I know some people can remain friends but I'm not one one of them. I agree it depends on the individual.

    1299864330
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    x X x wrote:

    I just don't think there's any need to remain friends with any exes. Although it's different when you have children

    And also depends on the nature of the relationship itself*

    1304509923
    LOVE [sign in to see picture]
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    no!!

    1304510434
    rach74 [sign in to see picture]
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    nope

    1304510746
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
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    Not sure if I have commented.

    I would say no with my ex... it was a LDR and he was too manipulative and controlling. Last year got quite into the emotional blackmail when we got back in touch after a year of no contact, when I told him I had moved on and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, he started the I'll move to you stories (yeah yeah)... whats sad is we ended in 2007 yet he still feels the need to have this competative thing with me about love lifes.... It's rather sad although I am glad I made these mistakes as its all lessons and life experience that I have moved forward with.

    Best thing for me blocked and emails are ignored.!

    1304532398
    Mistress D [sign in to see picture]
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    No!

    1304532800
    EmilyBlenkins [sign in to see picture]
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    No way.

    1304533021
    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
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    Depends on the ex.

    1304533198
    cheer_up [sign in to see picture]
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    violeteyes wrote:

    definately not! luckily i dont have any exes but if the OH was friends with his ex id kill him first, then leave him. then kill her. she is the most unpleasant person ever to disgrace the face of this planet.

    Sooo... You get on really well with her, then?

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