• Can you be friends with your ex?

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    Angelgirl [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it depends on you and the ex. Personally I can't but that's because he ended it like a little wimp with a phonecall and I've never forgiven him for not doing it face to face.

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    SuggestiveTendency [sign in to see picture]
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    My best friend is an ex of mine and we were together for two years. I think providing you are willing to work at the friendship then you can still remain friends.

    Although it's hard, at the end of the day it seems a waste to have spent so long so close together to forget about each other afterwards.

    Having said that there are exceptions such as people cheating on you. I still haven't forgiven one of my ex's for hurting me so much; we still speak civily but nothing more.

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    Sam66 [sign in to see picture]
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    A most definite 'yes' from me ... one ex in particular is a very dear friend.

    There is still attraction (and there always will be) but we've acknowledged that and somehow that makes it easier. We don't see each other that often - no point in tempting fate ... but apart from my OH she is the person I trust most in the world.

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    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it depends on how long you were together, how serious the relationship was and whether or not you were friends before you got together. I have never managed to be just friends with an ex but I wasn't friends with them before we got together x

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Personally I think once you've crossed the sex line you can't go back to just being friends. There will always be something 'extra'. Any future partners must bear this in mind if one or both parties remain friends with exes. A lot of cheating in rels is done with an ex, easier to slip into old habits maybe? Lol

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Mistress Cara wrote:

    Personally I think once you've crossed the sex line you can't go back to just being friends. There will always be something 'extra'. Any future partners must bear this in mind if one or both parties remain friends with exes. A lot of cheating in rels is done with an ex, easier to slip into old habits maybe? Lol

    Its not slipping into habits that's the problem, its slipping into *Edited for readers sensibilities*!

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    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    Mistress Cara wrote:

    Personally I think once you've crossed the sex line you can't go back to just being friends. There will always be something 'extra'. Any future partners must bear this in mind if one or both parties remain friends with exes. A lot of cheating in rels is done with an ex, easier to slip into old habits maybe? Lol

    I don't know about that. Definately not always. My feelings for my ex as a person are neutral, no love left, no hate either - I don't care enough to hate, but sexually he is my ultimate turn off! Contact between us is a must though, for the kids.

    My ex before that too - utterly repulses me now. My first love was different, but we're not friends anyway.

    Some can, some can't. My OH has issues which make me uneasy - to say the least right now.

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    In general I think it's easier to accept you can never be friends but have become 'something else.' What that is I don't know but I'm in no rush to define it. Not that applies to your specific situation.

    Personally I believe it's healthier to cut off ties with an ex. At least when you're yet to get over them.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    In general I think it's easier to accept you can never be friends but have become 'something else.' What that is I don't know but I'm in no rush to define it. Not that applies to your specific situation.

    Personally I believe it's healthier to cut off ties with an ex. At least when you're yet to get over them.

    I agree - I think once a person is with a new partner and has history with a previous one, it's not a good idea to be in regular contact with the previous partner.

    There are circumstances where it may work, but in those circumstances I wouldn't say you are friends as you kind of would have to not care about them for it to be truly sucessful.

    I wouldn't say Sam's example is truly sucessful if there is still attraction there, you're only friends as you don't have the choice to be anything more. I think that would have another name but I don't know what that would be. Fair enough if you disagree btw Sam, just using it as an example of my opinion but you know your situation better than we do!

    Having said what I have - I don't have any exes so I can't fully judge, I just know I could never stop loving WandA and if we split and I had a new partner, it wouldn't be fair for me and WandA to keep in touch, as much as it would break my heart not to.

    Ax

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    SweetSubmission [sign in to see picture]
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    It may be possible for some, but I am incapable of it. Having attempted it previously and ended up bitterly miserable, I've decided it just carries too many risks of heart ache. I have friends who I've slept with, that's not really a big deal, but not who I've been in love with. Whole world of trouble in that arrangement.

    I guess part of that decision is the fact that I have amazing friends already, wonderful people who I respect and adore. And as most of my exes are not worthy of that description, they're not worth making time for. I'm so manically busy so much of the time, I barely have time for my closest friends, without adding any troublesome, second rate exes into the mix!

    SS xx

    1270644516
    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    Two of my friends were in a three year relationship, it ended suddenly but he has since become very bitter and hasn't moved on at all - even though its now 3 years down the line, she has had other partners but he hasn't. it's becoming very awkward for all of us now even though we want to stay friends he is making it damm near impossible for us all to go out together. man alive he needs to get laid!

    x

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    SuggestiveTendency [sign in to see picture]
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    My best friend is the girl I lost my virginity to. We had a 2 year relationship and out of that came this amazing friendship. She is like a sister to me now and I couldn't live without her.

    I think it depends though because another of my ex's cheated on me for four months and needless to say I don't think we can be friends. I have no trust in her and whilst I obviously really liked her I don't think that any form of relationship can function well without trust

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    SuggestiveTendency wrote:

    My best friend is the girl I lost my virginity to. We had a 2 year relationship and out of that came this amazing friendship. She is like a sister to me now and I couldn't live without her.

    A happy ending!

    Good!

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    Firewolf [sign in to see picture]
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    Its possible, I guess. I used to be friends with one of my exes, until on a night out he tried to make out with me several times and wanting me to dump my boyfriend (note, he was not drunk and quite aware of what he was doing). After that I avoided him really xD

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    sweetcherry24 [sign in to see picture]
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    Im still friends with a couple of ex's. my last ex lives in london he still texts me now and then see how im getting on.

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    sexy demon [sign in to see picture]
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    I was with my boyfriend for 5 years before we broke up and we are good friends now, you just move on with your life. That's the way I feel it maybe because i'm the one who decided to separate. But we see each other some times and we talk a lot on the phone. He found someone else and i'm happy for him.

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    Pinkilious [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it depends how its all left and how the relationship was as i am good friends with one and not even talking to another!

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    Student20 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm still on friendly terms with one, others have fallen into obscurity since I or they moved apart but I've never really had any grief or bad feelings towards an ex. Some I'd rather not see given the chance but I wouldn't ignore them or anything.

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    For me it depends on the person and how the relationship went. I am friends with one of my ex's but not the other. It does take some work though and its much easier when your with someone else and they are too.

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    kryptonite [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it depends on why it ended and how the other person reacted to it. i'm friends with 3 of my ex's, despise one of them and try my best to avoid another.

    if it was a mutual decision to break up it can work out but sometimes there needs to be some time left before you can be friends and even then it gets tricky and in my opinion its best to be friends that don't meet up on a one on one basis too often cos that's when lines get blurred between being friends and thinking it's a good idea to try again.

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