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  1. Get it all out thread. Warning Rants will be had! PLEASE READ PAGE 1

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    reany [sign in to see picture]
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    I just need to get this out, mostly because I have no one to talk to and I'm going out of my mind!
    I'm mostly mad at myself, feel I've ruined a great relationship. All I wanted was more time with my man, or at least to hear from him more. We haven't seen each other for a month and only keep in contact via email,, I know he is busy, but I hadn't heard from him much, with my emotions high I had a little outburst, basically told him he made me feel I was talking to myself and I wasn't even worth a second of his time, blah blah whine whine,, when all I really wanted to say was how much I missed him and longed to hear from him and that keeping in contact as we couldn't see each other felt important. But no, I couldn't do that. Anyway, now I've totally pushed him away, he's taking a step back to consider things and told me to find someone who can give me what I need,, the thing is what I need is him, I've tried to explain, but damage is done. My heart is totally broken and I just don't know how to fix it, I've pretty much spammed him telling him how much he means to me, but he won't reply. I'm such an idiot, why couldn't I have just stayed quiet! I know it's my fault but feel like I'm being punished for wanting him more.

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Reany, don't beat yourself up sweetheart. I know too well what its like not to see your OH as often as you would like. I don't live with my husband as he works away. At times I too get very frustrated and I occasionally "blow up" at him. He knows I am not angry with him but just super frustrated.

    You needed to express how you felt, how he made you feel and you have every right to. Yes it would have been better to tell him in person but if he is making you feel alone how can you? From what I can make of this, he must accept some of the responsibility. You have reached out to him and he has pushed you away.

    Has he given any explanation why he was so distant except being busy?

    1478052357
    reany [sign in to see picture]
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    It's mostly that he is just busy, he has a demanding job and other life commitments, so I do get that time for me is limited. I mean our relationship is still pretty new, it's only been 5months, so still really early days. I do absolutely adore him, I just wish he could talk to me instead of blanking me out so we can work it out together as a couple.
    I think I just need to give him the space he needs. But when he says he's taking a big step back to review and consider things, don't really now what that means.
    I just can't stand the silence, I just wish he would tell me what he's thinking, feel a bit in the dark at the moment. I want to go forward with him. I have no idea though how long he's going to be quiet on me or if I will even ever hear from him again.

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    It sounds like the elastic band trick and a lot of men are masters at it. You've not done anything wrong believe me, there is nothing wrong in saying how you feel because that's how you feel. What I suggest you do and I know it's hard, is pull back, don't contact him and when he does eventually come round (and he most likely will) act aloof, don't ignore be pleasant and if he suggests seeing you, respond with something like, oh I'm not sure if I've got to go (wherever else) and say you will get back to him and leave it for a couple of days.

    You are no doubt feeling needy but don't let him know that. Give him a taste of his own medicine. I know it's hard and I really feel for you.
    Look at it as a positive for you to use this time to think about if he's right for you and if you want to be with someone like this. Find something you enjoy doing without him, read a book, have a pamper etc. Give him time to miss you.
    Big hug 🤗 😘

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    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    It must be difficult reany, you've been having your concerns with bleeding too so that will be casing added stress. 5 months is pretty new, you're still getting to know each other. It seems like he's not giving you everything you need and its a shame. You are putting your all into it and being frozen out.

    Give him time, it could be many a thing. It could be he doesn't want a relationship he can't fully commit too with his hectic schedule. Give him some time and hopefully he will explain. In the meantime, look after yourself. Make sure you eat and treat yourself. Rosys orders! 😘

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    Read up about the rubber band trick and the disappearing/reappearing man on google. It may give you some answers 😘

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    +1 to what Rosycheek said 😊
    Hi Rosycheek hope all is good with you sweetheart 😘

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    reany [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you so much for your kindness and advice, Emotions really are running high right now and feeling pretty alone, so I really do appreciate it xx
    Will definitely read up on the rubber band trick also xx

    1478056375
    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    Pandashavesex - let me reassure you, there is someone out there for everyone. What you experienced the other night was really cruel and I've seen it happen to others but pound to a penny he no doubt felt terrible afterwards or one of his mates would have done but you don't get to see that unfortunately. As others have said it has all to do with body language and self confidence and you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you. You have identified what will help you with that, which is the very first step to a whole new confident you. Go get it you can do it. In the meantime get your hair done, buy a new lipstick whatever makes you feel good and is a change.

    Ask yourself what sort of guy you would like to have a date with, someone closed off and doesn't carry themselves well? That has no confidence?(forget looks for a minute) or someone that holds their head up high and has confidence? Do you see where I'm going with this 😊 Listen to some music and have a dance when you're feeling low. You will be getting exercise, releasing stress and getting a feel good factor. Stop comparing yourself to others because there is probably something they don't like about themselves but they hide it the difference is you don't hide your dislike of yourself.
    One good tip I have for you is to read weightloss success stories and picture yourself there. I have gone from a size 18/20 to a size 6/8 in the last year so it can be done and with each milestone you pass (every 7lbs for me) I developed more confidence and you will too. 😘

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    Ah Reany anytime bless you. You aren't alone while you have us. I know it's not the same as in real life but we do care xxx men eh lol (going to get shot down for that no doubt lol)
    Big hugs sweetheart 😘

    1478084151
    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
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    It's my birthday today. My ex has turned up on my doorstep.

    How selfish can he be to want to get closure on my birthday.

    Really so angry right now.

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    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow, how selfish. I'm so sorry. That's absolutely unacceptable. He should have respected your decision not to see him again.

    1478084944

    [suspended user]

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    delilahxx wrote:

    It's my birthday today. My ex has turned up on my doorstep.

    How selfish can he be to want to get closure on my birthday.

    Really so angry right now.

    I am amazed that he can't accept your decision and that he appears to be stalking you .

    I hope your day will get better.

    1478088027
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    Wow, how selfish. I'm so sorry. That's absolutely unacceptable. He should have respected your decision not to see him again.

    +1 That is not good at all Delilah. Did you speak to him or did you not answer your door? Sending you lots of hugs xx

    1478088954
    ScarlettBlacks [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't know what it is about birthdays and exes. Mine sent me a present and a letter four months after I'd broken all contact. Maybe they think it's a good excuse or they think you'll be in a good mood so you'll be more open to seeing them? Either way it's incredibly selfish to use someone's special day for your own motives. I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope you can enjoy your birthday anyways xx

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    I am so sick of having such a persistent negative body image. Just feels like no matter what I do it keeps coming back, knocking me down and everytime undoing all the positive steps foward I felt I'd made. Today it was nothing more than hopping in the shower to get myself prettied up and feeling good enough for some intimate times with the OH later on, naturally being me it had the opposite effect and had me curled up in a ball sobbing over how much I loathe my body. Feel like throwing my lingerie away not dressing up in it, not that I ever would because beyond loving my lingerie it's the only chance I have of being or feeling remotely pretty but today I just feel too ugly to even try, the term 'polishing a turd' springs to mind. I guess intimate times won't be happening, nor will meal times or anything involving having to show my loathsome form in public. I hate days like these and I hate that they just keep coming back no matter what I try to physically improve my appearance or mentally improve my perception of it. Ugh!

    Minor rant I know, sorry, just had to get that out somewhere.

    1478095432
    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    I am so sick of having such a persistent negative body image. Just feels like no matter what I do it keeps coming back, knocking me down and everytime undoing all the positive steps foward I felt I'd made. Today it was nothing more than hopping in the shower to get myself prettied up and feeling good enough for some intimate times with the OH later on, naturally being me it had the opposite effect and had me curled up in a ball sobbing over how much I loathe my body. Feel like throwing my lingerie away not dressing up in it, not that I ever would because beyond loving my lingerie it's the only chance I have of being or feeling remotely pretty but today I just feel too ugly to even try, the term 'polishing a turd' springs to mind. I guess intimate times won't be happening, nor will meal times or anything involving having to show my loathsome form in public. I hate days like these and I hate that they just keep coming back no matter what I try to physically improve my appearance or mentally improve my perception of it. Ugh!

    Minor rant I know, sorry, just had to get that out somewhere.

    Hugs hugs and more hugs, I too have days where I hate my body, last month due to hormones I wished I could cut my stomach off, it is a sad society that expects us to be wafer thin size 8, anything bigger is now medium or large ect. I too have got rid of corsets, the why bother routine, today I have flirty knickers and bra set, wish you lived nearer so I could hug you in person.

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    I am so sick of having such a persistent negative body image. Just feels like no matter what I do it keeps coming back, knocking me down and everytime undoing all the positive steps foward I felt I'd made. Today it was nothing more than hopping in the shower to get myself prettied up and feeling good enough for some intimate times with the OH later on, naturally being me it had the opposite effect and had me curled up in a ball sobbing over how much I loathe my body. Feel like throwing my lingerie away not dressing up in it, not that I ever would because beyond loving my lingerie it's the only chance I have of being or feeling remotely pretty but today I just feel too ugly to even try, the term 'polishing a turd' springs to mind. I guess intimate times won't be happening, nor will meal times or anything involving having to show my loathsome form in public. I hate days like these and I hate that they just keep coming back no matter what I try to physically improve my appearance or mentally improve my perception of it. Ugh!

    Minor rant I know, sorry, just had to get that out somewhere.

    I am so sad that you are feeling like this.. you are a beautiful lady both on the inside and out, and I wish you could believe that. Your pictures are stunning, and you come across as such a lovely kind person. Definitely don't throw out your lingerie - I will now allow it - lol - you need it to post more sexy pics! Sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts your way lovely xx

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    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    pandashavesex wrote:

    Bit of a long rant to be had but I'll just get to the point - I'm a young woman, in my early 20's. All my friends are either settling down if they're a bit older or enjoying dating and hook ups and I haven't had sex in 3 years. I don't get hit on, men aren't interested in me, it's just gone beyond frustrating and moved into upsetting. Now I'm getting scared I'll be unable to perform if I ever get the chance to try. I've tried tinder and got no matches (was being fussy to begin with but was not being fussy by the end of a week of nothing) and I was used as a 'get with the ugly chick' dare on a night out recently when a guy kissed me and then had that item checked of the list on the back of his shirt, which wasn't fab.

    I'm not attractive which I don't want 'oh I'm sure you're gorgeous' talk on - I'm not being self counscious, I'm not ugly or gross but I'm just not attractive which is fine. I'm fairly chubby, been trying to lose weight slowly and healthily which is going well if a bit slow, but my body is the same and all I've lost is my bust which was my single good feature imo. Now I'm still pudgy but have a smaller chest than my slim friends.

    so tl;dr, I hate how I look, I want to change everything about my body and I'm scared I'll never be touched again

    This was me 11 years ago, I was 38 at the time thought I'd never be intimate again, after ex husband told the fridge routine, it did hape5with a crap boyfriend who thank god dumped me, aaat least I knew my body worked. A year later I met hubby. Please think of yourself, pampering ect that's what I did, I thought I'd rather be alone than in a crap relationship, then the miracle happened, hug hugs and more hugs.

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    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    Aw, there are a lot of people needing hugs!!

    Reany, you did the right thing speaking up. You felt the way you did for a reason, you are entitled to your feelings. If you didn't tell him then there would have never been an opportunity for things to change. Better to raise it now than 1,2 or 3 years down the line!! Fingers crosses for you.

    Delilah, Happy Birthday!! sounds like a bit of emotion manipulation. Certainly not helped hos cause, hope you've not let him ruin your birthday, you don't deserve that.

    Lovebirds, unfortunately we all have days like these. We are only human but we are our own worst critics. When I feel like my belly makes me look like the lovechild of Mr Blobby and a Womble I try to give focus to a bit I do like. I put something on to show off a tattoo, a bit of cleavage etc. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Please don't throw away your lingerie

    Pandashavesex...please don't give up. There is someone for everyone no matter what size, shape, colour etc. Some people are lucky enough to find their other half quickly but unfortunately some of use have to kiss some frogs along the way. Those blokes with the dare are absolute prats but I believe in karma and it will come back to bite them on the arse one day for sure!!!

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