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  1. Get it all out thread. Warning Rants will be had! PLEASE READ PAGE 1

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    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    NN - tiredness is just awful. I am sure you will work through it and be OK xxx Hugs xxx

    1477857323
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks LNT. The hug is apprciated. I'm trying my best. Need to pull on my big girl pants and tell him.

    He had a one night stand a couple of months ago. We weren't in a good place before and he knows he really messed up so I would like to try work past it but feel like I'm making more effort. I'm going to his on weekends, was there for him after he was in a bad car accident, trying to get over my body / confidence issues (hense joining LH) & I have never thrown his infidelity back at him & i have even cut back on the tramadol i take daily as it makes me drowsy on an evening.

    I am willing to try and i know it will be tough but I don't want to be a mug.

    1477857612
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    NaughtyNerd wrote:

    I'm trying my best. Need to pull on my big girl pants and tell him.

    He had a one night stand a couple of months ago. We weren't in a good place before and he knows he really messed up so I would like to try work past it but feel like I'm making more effort. I'm going to his on weekends, was there for him after he was in a bad car accident, trying to get over my body / confidence issues (hense joining LH) & I have never thrown his infidelity back at him & i have even cut back onbthe tramadol i take daily as it makes me drowsy on an evening.

    but I don't want to be a mug.

    OK I get it better now. You are right, you need to talk. There needs to be give and take, and that doesn't mean one gives and the other takes!!!

    You are a better person than me to deal with his cheating, and sorry to say this, but maybe he feels he has got away with the worst thing possible so anything else will be overlooked too!

    I hope you get some answers hunni xxxx

    1477858010
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    I just trapped the cats tail in the window as I let him in and I feel so bad about it. I've done this once before as it's so difficult to see a black tail through the gap in the window when it's pitch black outside and it appears that he's out of the way enough, but alas, he wasn't this time. I feel like a bad cat owner now, although he let me give him a cuddle and fussed around my legs immediately afterwards, so he's fine and still appears to love me, but I feel horrible :(

    1477859343
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    NatandTom wrote:

    I just trapped the cats tail in the window as I let him in and I feel so bad about it. I've done this once before as it's so difficult to see a black tail through the gap in the window when it's pitch black outside and it appears that he's out of the way enough, but alas, he wasn't this time. I feel like a bad cat owner now, although he let me give him a cuddle and fussed around my legs immediately afterwards, so he's fine and still appears to love me, but I feel horrible :(

    If it makes you feel any better mine tried to jump into the fridge for some random reason yesterday just as I was shutting the door and it hit him in the neck! Think his ego was more bruised than anything.

    1477862379
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    So I understand it's Diwali and there is a large Asian/Indian community in one area of the city, but honestly you would think they were bombing the area, rather than letting off fireworks!

    Poor Mutley is unsettled, not scared but he doesn't understand the bangs seen to be a threat but he can't see it. He just wants lots of reassurance that everything is ok. So he is on the bed with us curled up next to OH, listening to every bang and noise. I don't think there is anything I can do to help him relax. It's quite odd as Max (previous dog) was not bothered by fireworks at all.

    1477866421
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Fun Louise wrote:

    So I understand it's Diwali and there is a large Asian/Indian community in one area of the city, but honestly you would think they were bombing the area, rather than letting off fireworks!

    Poor Mutley is unsettled, not scared but he doesn't understand the bangs seen to be a threat but he can't see it. He just wants lots of reassurance that everything is ok. So he is on the bed with us curled up next to OH, listening to every bang and noise. I don't think there is anything I can do to help him relax. It's quite odd as Max (previous dog) was not bothered by fireworks at all.

    It is so scary for our furry friends, as they do not understand. What you are doing is great, giving him a safe place - perhaps also have some music or the television on to distract him. Keeping the curtains closed too. There are also plug ins that you can get from your vet which releases pheromones similar to those that a mother dog would send to her puppies to help calm them. I know a couple of people who have used them, and they say they work really well. I hope the fireworks stop soon for the poor little chap xx

    1477866949
    Shadow Collector [sign in to see picture]
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    Ugh.

    I cannot get everything that needs done done right now. Laundry and assignments piling up, and lack of cooperativ groups mean I have to do seven peoples work on top of that. I am so sick of selfish people coasting of other people's work -.-

    1477867307
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Natandtom - kitty has forgiven you already so dont worry xxx

    NN - what a silly kitty but all has been forgiven xxx

    FL - Mutley knows how to get on the bed for a cuddle bless him!!! And why not. Who can resist them big brown eyes xxxx

    Shadow - hang in there hun - karma is a wonderful thing xxxx

    1477868347
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Naughty Nerd, my husband had a less than faithful spell a few years back. I totally understand how you feel. You may have forgiven him but forgetting it is never an option. Its burned in your heart and every now and again the pain resurfaces. You've done well not bringing it up. Have you tried counselling? Me and my husband still see our therapist every few months. Its good to have a neutral party who can say things that we would want to scream at the OH for saying and approaching those awkward issues.

    1477869545
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    Scorpius12 wrote:

    Fun Louise wrote:

    So I understand it's Diwali and there is a large Asian/Indian community in one area of the city, but honestly you would think they were bombing the area, rather than letting off fireworks!

    Poor Mutley is unsettled, not scared but he doesn't understand the bangs seen to be a threat but he can't see it. He just wants lots of reassurance that everything is ok. So he is on the bed with us curled up next to OH, listening to every bang and noise. I don't think there is anything I can do to help him relax. It's quite odd as Max (previous dog) was not bothered by fireworks at all.

    It is so scary for our furry friends, as they do not understand. What you are doing is great, giving him a safe place - perhaps also have some music or the television on to distract him. Keeping the curtains closed too. There are also plug ins that you can get from your vet which releases pheromones similar to those that a mother dog would send to her puppies to help calm them. I know a couple of people who have used them, and they say they work really well. I hope the fireworks stop soon for the poor little chap xx

    Thanks for the suggestions, if Mutley was scared I would look into other things but he is ok just a little unsettles. When we leave him alone we always leave the radio. He feels very safe at home which is good.

    1477869641
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    Shadow Collector wrote:

    Ugh.

    I cannot get everything that needs done done right now. Laundry and assignments piling up, and lack of cooperativ groups mean I have to do seven peoples work on top of that. I am so sick of selfish people coasting of other people's work -.-

    If you lived near me I would happily do your laundry to free you up to study. Priority has to be study, you can go to uni in your pjs if needed.

    1477928249
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    slight rant but I really cant stand women in my neighborhood who act thier "shit don't stink"

    Last night i was out with the child and these two women who live one street over woudl not look at me, talk to me, nothing...

    I am very friendly and try to find something in common to connect with people... doesn't mean I am going to invite myself over to your house but it rubbed me wrong to not even say hello. And they both had daughters aroundmy child's age who would not speak to my child either. Thanks bitches for raising even smaller bitches to hurt my kids feelings too.

    1477929064
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa8 wrote:

    slight rant but I really cant stand women in my neighborhood who act thier "shit don't stink"

    Last night i was out with the child and these two women who live one street over woudl not look at me, talk to me, nothing...

    I am very friendly and try to find something in common to connect with people... doesn't mean I am going to invite myself over to your house but it rubbed me wrong to not even say hello. And they both had daughters aroundmy child's age who would not speak to my child either. Thanks bitches for raising even smaller bitches to hurt my kids feelings too.

    Your better than them , just ignore them next time. I that that sort of thing is something that mainly happened in the UK with our anti social neighbours . xx

    1477929545
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    oh after the first pass of them not making eye contact and purposefully turning their back to me I just kept on walking my OH said maybe they are jealous I am hot and they are not LOL... honestly they were both attractive women so I highly doubt that had anything to do with it. Just irks me we moved here last year and we did buy the "house that was for sale forever" becuase it was a bit of an eyesore but we got a hell of a deal and I focsed on cleaning up the outside fo the property first.... which many neighbords have thanked us for but maybe they think we are low class becaues we bought this house. Oh well it felt / feels good to rant about it here. THX for still having this outlet.

    1477943970
    NaughtyNerd [sign in to see picture]
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    RosyCheek wrote:

    Naughty Nerd, my husband had a less than faithful spell a few years back. I totally understand how you feel. You may have forgiven him but forgetting it is never an option. Its burned in your heart and every now and again the pain resurfaces. You've done well not bringing it up. Have you tried counselling? Me and my husband still see our therapist every few months. Its good to have a neutral party who can say things that we would want to scream at the OH for saying and approaching those awkward issues.

    Thank RosyCheek. ..sometime feel like I'm going crazy! Hard to talk to family as they've not been in my shoes so their advice is just to get rid, which I can understand but I think that everyone makes mistakes. i would rather try make it work than not try and wonder what if.

    I have mentioned it once. I honestly don't think he's deliberately being thoughtless I just don't think he realises how hard it is.

    I've been brave and mentioned something that I'm really struggling with. I have given him a bit of a grace period because of his car accident as it was a tough experience for him but I can't keep doing it.

    I will certain consider the counselling. It scares the hell out of me bug is probably something that would help.

    1478044380
    pandashavesex [sign in to see picture]
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    Bit of a long rant to be had but I'll just get to the point - I'm a young woman, in my early 20's. All my friends are either settling down if they're a bit older or enjoying dating and hook ups and I haven't had sex in 3 years. I don't get hit on, men aren't interested in me, it's just gone beyond frustrating and moved into upsetting. Now I'm getting scared I'll be unable to perform if I ever get the chance to try. I've tried tinder and got no matches (was being fussy to begin with but was not being fussy by the end of a week of nothing) and I was used as a 'get with the ugly chick' dare on a night out recently when a guy kissed me and then had that item checked of the list on the back of his shirt, which wasn't fab.

    I'm not attractive which I don't want 'oh I'm sure you're gorgeous' talk on - I'm not being self counscious, I'm not ugly or gross but I'm just not attractive which is fine. I'm fairly chubby, been trying to lose weight slowly and healthily which is going well if a bit slow, but my body is the same and all I've lost is my bust which was my single good feature imo. Now I'm still pudgy but have a smaller chest than my slim friends.

    so tl;dr, I hate how I look, I want to change everything about my body and I'm scared I'll never be touched again

    1478045705
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    pandashavesex wrote:

    Bit of a long rant to be had but I'll just get to the point - I'm a young woman, in my early 20's. All my friends are either settling down if they're a bit older or enjoying dating and hook ups and I haven't had sex in 3 years. I don't get hit on, men aren't interested in me, it's just gone beyond frustrating and moved into upsetting. Now I'm getting scared I'll be unable to perform if I ever get the chance to try. I've tried tinder and got no matches (was being fussy to begin with but was not being fussy by the end of a week of nothing) and I was used as a 'get with the ugly chick' dare on a night out recently when a guy kissed me and then had that item checked of the list on the back of his shirt, which wasn't fab.

    I'm not attractive which I don't want 'oh I'm sure you're gorgeous' talk on - I'm not being self counscious, I'm not ugly or gross but I'm just not attractive which is fine. I'm fairly chubby, been trying to lose weight slowly and healthily which is going well if a bit slow, but my body is the same and all I've lost is my bust which was my single good feature imo. Now I'm still pudgy but have a smaller chest than my slim friends.

    so tl;dr, I hate how I look, I want to change everything about my body and I'm scared I'll never be touched again

    Sorry you are feeling like this, I am sure you are just lovely.

    If it wasn't his birthday today, I am sure our forum guru Mysteron would be telling you this:-

    If you are giving off negative vibes due to your negative thoughts, this will actually put men off approaching you. To quote Mr Mysteron 'a confident woman is an attractive woman'. Also, I think there is truth in the idea that things are more likely to happen if you aren't actually actively looking for it - so keep going out, but just to have fun, then, if it happens it happens.

    Stay positive hunni.

    Xxxxxxx

    1478045705
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    pandashavesex wrote:

    Bit of a long rant to be had but I'll just get to the point - I'm a young woman, in my early 20's. All my friends are either settling down if they're a bit older or enjoying dating and hook ups and I haven't had sex in 3 years. I don't get hit on, men aren't interested in me, it's just gone beyond frustrating and moved into upsetting. Now I'm getting scared I'll be unable to perform if I ever get the chance to try. I've tried tinder and got no matches (was being fussy to begin with but was not being fussy by the end of a week of nothing) and I was used as a 'get with the ugly chick' dare on a night out recently when a guy kissed me and then had that item checked of the list on the back of his shirt, which wasn't fab.

    I'm not attractive which I don't want 'oh I'm sure you're gorgeous' talk on - I'm not being self counscious, I'm not ugly or gross but I'm just not attractive which is fine. I'm fairly chubby, been trying to lose weight slowly and healthily which is going well if a bit slow, but my body is the same and all I've lost is my bust which was my single good feature imo. Now I'm still pudgy but have a smaller chest than my slim friends

    *Sorry double post

    1478048346
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    pandashavesex wrote:

    Bit of a long rant to be had but I'll just get to the point - I'm a young woman, in my early 20's. All my friends are either settling down if they're a bit older or enjoying dating and hook ups and I haven't had sex in 3 years. I don't get hit on, men aren't interested in me, it's just gone beyond frustrating and moved into upsetting. Now I'm getting scared I'll be unable to perform if I ever get the chance to try. I've tried tinder and got no matches (was being fussy to begin with but was not being fussy by the end of a week of nothing) and I was used as a 'get with the ugly chick' dare on a night out recently when a guy kissed me and then had that item checked of the list on the back of his shirt, which wasn't fab.

    I'm not attractive which I don't want 'oh I'm sure you're gorgeous' talk on - I'm not being self counscious, I'm not ugly or gross but I'm just not attractive which is fine. I'm fairly chubby, been trying to lose weight slowly and healthily which is going well if a bit slow, but my body is the same and all I've lost is my bust which was my single good feature imo. Now I'm still pudgy but have a smaller chest than my slim friends.

    so tl;dr, I hate how I look, I want to change everything about my body and I'm scared I'll never be touched again

    I weighed 18st 6 pounds just over 4 years ago .I hated my body although my wife still loved me the same. Now I am 12 stone 6 pounds as at last week. I feel totally different aad have a body of which I could only previously dream of.

    You appear to be doing all the right things and it will be yourself that will be your own worst critic. Others will see you in a much different light. Think of you body at the moment as work in progress and carry on losing weight .Nature is quite cruel as my own worst area was my tummy area and that was the very last part that weight came off .To speed that process up a little and I have only got rid of it this year ,I decided to start working out and now not only can I wear clingy clothes ,I have also abs and at 54 on a guy is a fair achievement so I have been told by others. So don't give up and carry on as you will get there .

    Try to look confident when you go out and that will make you very attractive to others.

    If you want encouragement about losing weight then join the gang on the Get It Off Support Thread .

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