1. Get it off ! Support thread

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    I’ve weighed on the wii u, hoping it’s right when I weigh tomorrow 😂

    I wanting to keep my curves, hubby loves hips and bum, obviously more toned, but loose the belly.

    we went to the seaside yesterday, and hubby took pics of our day, he really wanted to post pics to his & mine FB but I wouldn’t let him, I’m not comfortable with pics of me yet.

    he feels like he wants to show me off to the world, I’m wearing a dress, swim wear is so far off for me right now. Having friends and work colleagues actually see me, terrifys me.

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    I’ve weighed on the wii u, hoping it’s right when I weigh tomorrow 😂

    I wanting to keep my curves, hubby loves hips and bum, obviously more toned, but loose the belly.

    we went to the seaside yesterday, and hubby took pics of our day, he really wanted to post pics to his & mine FB but I wouldn’t let him, I’m not comfortable with pics of me yet.

    he feels like he wants to show me off to the world, I’m wearing a dress, swim wear is so far off for me right now. Having friends and work colleagues actually see me, terrifys me.

    I am beginiing to get the picture that you appear to have a more psychological issue that perhaps you need to chip away at. If your OH wants to show you off then that tells me that you are making big progress and he can see it . I dont know what the answer is here and hopefully one of the ladies could give you some suggestions has to how to overcome it. Guys are a lot different in this regard. I overcame my problem by just looking at myself in a mirror and learning to appreciate my body and telling myself I am work in progress.For every stone I lost I could see an improvement and now I just pose in the mirror after a workout. I dont know is this would work with you or not as ladies tend to be far more critical about their bodies than us guys.  

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Mysteron

    I was bought up in a very catholic family, my parents never discussed anything from periods - sex ever, then I had a sexual trauma and I couldn’t seek help or love from my parents.

    my sexual trauma came out and my parents blamed me, and I never got the help to over come it. My parents moved my schools and blocked me from seeing my family.

    my first boyfriend was my escape from my parents, only he abused me, and would put me down, make fun of me, tell me I was used goods, and it went on for nearly 3 years.

    I then had lots of sex with men I didn’t fancy or feel a connection to, to feel better, maybe I was numbing the pain, I don’t honestly know. Then I met my hubby, he was the first man I felt safe with, and that I never felt pressured to be something I wasn’t.

    I’m selective mute, I struggle to talk to others, so even things like a doctors appointment I’m really stressed and anxious, my son who’s 6 is exactly the same, and I feel his pain every time he can’t play a football game, or go to friends house.

    after my son was born I was very poorly and my weight got out of hand, I’ve worked hard to get where i am today, but my confidence is low, and I’m really self conscious.

    as you say mysteron I’m a work in progress

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Mysteron

    I was bought up in a very catholic family, my parents never discussed anything from periods - sex ever, then I had a sexual trauma and I couldn’t seek help or love from my parents.

    my sexual trauma came out and my parents blamed me, and I never got the help to over come it. My parents moved my schools and blocked me from seeing my family.

    my first boyfriend was my escape from my parents, only he abused me, and would put me down, make fun of me, tell me I was used goods, and it went on for nearly 3 years.

    I then had lots of sex with men I didn’t fancy or feel a connection to, to feel better, maybe I was numbing the pain, I don’t honestly know. Then I met my hubby, he was the first man I felt safe with, and that I never felt pressured to be something I wasn’t.

    I’m selective mute, I struggle to talk to others, so even things like a doctors appointment I’m really stressed and anxious, my son who’s 6 is exactly the same, and I feel his pain every time he can’t play a football game, or go to friends house.

    after my son was born I was very poorly and my weight got out of hand, I’ve worked hard to get where i am today, but my confidence is low, and I’m really self conscious.

    as you say mysteron I’m a work in progress

    Maybe some of that you can overcome in time . But do listen to your husband and perhaps those around you at your SW meetings . These people will give you the right vibes. If you bet any negative vibes coming your way move away from that source.

    Keep in the right circles I think your confidence will get better.

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Mysteron

    yep my mum being my worse critic, we go to the same SW class and she fat shames me & my dad. She can’t understand why I’ve lost more than her, I’m much younger, therefore I will loose it quicker.

    I do appreciate all your advice, so thank you x

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Mysteron

    yep my mum being my worse critic, we go to the same SW class and she fat shames me & my dad. She can’t understand why I’ve lost more than her, I’m much younger, therefore I will loose it quicker.

    I do appreciate all your advice, so thank you x

    I dont understand why your mum would do that?  I know you have mentioned it before and i just can't for the life of me understand her rationale here .Surely she must be overweight herself for being in that class. Thats the whole idea of weighloss classes whether it being at SW or at a gym. You all in the same boat aiming for similar goals and therefore you should be encouraging each other to help with motivation. I am lucky in being self motivated but that tends to be an uncommon trait in people .

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ummm, without me sounding real harsh about her. . . She’s never had a nice word to say about me, ever.

    she works on control, controlling me, I’ve slowly backed away from being in her presence. She constantly puts me down, and she blamed me for my sexual trauma, I’ll be honest I’ve spent 20 years believing she was right.

    I don’t stay to group as she does and I can’t hear her slag me off to a group of people I barely know. But i am motivated to change, I would love to look hot wearing even “normal “ clothes.

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Ummm, without me sounding real harsh about her. . . She’s never had a nice word to say about me, ever.

    she works on control, controlling me, I’ve slowly backed away from being in her presence. She constantly puts me down, and she blamed me for my sexual trauma, I’ll be honest I’ve spent 20 years believing she was right.

    I don’t stay to group as she does and I can’t hear her slag me off to a group of people I barely know. But i am motivated to change, I would love to look hot wearing even “normal “ clothes.

    Well you could use that as motivation to show her what you can do and how good you can look . You can do that without saying anything , just let your body speak .

    I am very optomistic that you will last the course and perhaps you can take this thread on from a womans point of view of going through the weightloss journey and help others just starting out.

    I also hope Fun Louise can sort her OHs problems out and come back in .She has worked so hard.

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    Bigiain [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like you've had a horrible time...but are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It's good you can see the issues causing said self confidence issues and are trying to back away from it whilst keeping the goal in sight. What's that old saying "you can chose your friends but not your family?" I pretty much live by that lol Hubby, sounds like a good guy to me! However, on the topic of keeping the eye on the prize, it sounds like you're doing everything right. Eating well, steady exercise and keeping it in moderation. As mysteron said, some wasn't built in a day, it takes 4 weeks to start noticing results and 6 weeks for the rest of the people around you to notice. Keep up the good work, I do enjoy reading/seeing a good progress thread

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks guys x

    it’s weigh day, my hubbys not normally home and he’s been having a good old chuckle about my weigh day routine 😂 showered, shaved, and the lightest underwear and lightest dress I can find 😂

    fingers crossed 🤞

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    Talia [sign in to see picture]
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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    ... I’m wearing a dress, swim wear is so far off for me right now. Having friends and work colleagues actually see me, terrifys me.

    I can't help you with your family issues (to me it seems you should stay as far away from your mom as possible...) However, I'd recommend the following for swimwear: http://www.swimsuitsforall.com I hope they've sorted out their panic regarding the data protection act yet (for a while the site wouldn't work for Europeans) It's incredibly refreshing to see all these beautiful overweight swimsuit models (instead of the teenaged stick figures that model swimsuits on most sites) - have a look!

    As for gaining confidence in general (and a preventive measure against future abuse) - have you ever thought about self-defense classes? I used to do Taekwondo (the most brutal fitness training I've ever done), Krav Maga is generally highly recommended, Boxing ... - pretty much anything should work. The point is to gain confidence in yourself (just knowing that you could deal with those idiots at your kid's school should allow you to walk with your head high, no matter what they say) while becoming generally fitter and burning some calories - it's a win-win-win situation!

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lost 4lbs today 💪 2 more for my 4 stone 😳

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Lost 4lbs today 💪 2 more for my 4 stone 😳

    Thats brilliant news .

    I think your hubby deserves a medal as well for the way he is supporting you. I just wish you would listen to him more with his positivity  than say your mum who is full of negativity and really you dont want to hear that.  

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    teacake [sign in to see picture]
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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Lost 4lbs today 💪 2 more for my 4 stone 😳

    That is great

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Talia

    that sounds like a great idea, there’s a local box fit club around the corner from me, just getting that confidence to walk thro the door that first time.

    mysteron My hubby deserved a blooming massive medal putting up with me. However, skip back 7/8 months ago and we were at a stage of no communication, I never showed any emotion, I never spoke about my problems or how I was feeling, he said sometimes he felt like he was single but living with a woman.

    maybe the constant no emotion was from my past, I wouldn’t let him ever get close, I would never let him love me, as hard as all this is right now, I know it will be the making of me. It’s 20 years of hiding behind a secret that’s caused so much pain. The night it happened I lost something I will never get back, and I lost myself too, maybe that’s why I find it so hard to look at myself, I dunno.

    I’m getting stronger everyday, I can’t wait to feel comfortable in my own skin, not to feel ashamed, I’d love my 2lbs next week, so once it’s back to school I’m 4 stone gone.

    teacake, thank you sweetie x

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Talia

    that sounds like a great idea, there’s a local box fit club around the corner from me, just getting that confidence to walk thro the door that first time.

    mysteron My hubby deserved a blooming massive medal putting up with me. However, skip back 7/8 months ago and we were at a stage of no communication, I never showed any emotion, I never spoke about my problems or how I was feeling, he said sometimes he felt like he was single but living with a woman.

    maybe the constant no emotion was from my past, I wouldn’t let him ever get close, I would never let him love me, as hard as all this is right now, I know it will be the making of me. It’s 20 years of hiding behind a secret that’s caused so much pain. The night it happened I lost something I will never get back, and I lost myself too, maybe that’s why I find it so hard to look at myself, I dunno.

    I’m getting stronger everyday, I can’t wait to feel comfortable in my own skin, not to feel ashamed, I’d love my 2lbs next week, so once it’s back to school I’m 4 stone gone.

    teacake, thank you sweetie x

    Many couples go through that . We were similar some time ago a bit like ships passing in the night. Whiilst we still functioned day to day as a couple we lost that intimacy. Even today I still sometimes feel  like I am competing with the cat for last place when it comes to affection as our son gets all the attention and fuss .

    The thing that has gone in my favour which kind of gave my Mrs a wake up call is all the attention I am now getting since my physical change and given myself a GOK makeover . In the last 2 years I have been asked out 6 times now and some by women much younger . My Mrs herself has found me far more physically attractive now  even though she has never loved me any less when I was at my worst.

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    Justthe2ofus2007 [sign in to see picture]
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    Mysteron

    I’ve never shown any love or affection in the 15 years we’ve been together. By eating I was secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t want sex with me. So we were just parents. For us now, it’s like a new relationship, where you can’t keep your hands off each other.

    my hubbys worried I’ll take it to far and loose to much weight, he loves curves and he loves boobs & bums, to him 2 more stone is to much really, he’s happy for me to maintain my weight as it is now. But by the nhs guidelines I’m still 7 stone overweight ?

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    Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:

    Mysteron

    I’ve never shown any love or affection in the 15 years we’ve been together. By eating I was secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t want sex with me. So we were just parents. For us now, it’s like a new relationship, where you can’t keep your hands off each other.

    my hubbys worried I’ll take it to far and loose to much weight, he loves curves and he loves boobs & bums, to him 2 more stone is to much really, he’s happy for me to maintain my weight as it is now. But by the nhs guidelines I’m still 7 stone overweight ?

    Well iMO I think he will love your new shape and perhaps more important so will you. It does take some getting used to but you will have so much energy and life to do things. It will enable you to dress more sexily , nicer lingerie  and more choice as well  You will feel much younger  again and I am sure you hubby will benefit from all of  that . For me it was simple things like being able to tie my own shoe laces again and see them whilst I tied them ! I used to go out in a baggy T shirt and baggy jeans. Now its a slim fit t shirt or shirt. with tighter fitting jeans and a blazer. Blazers/tailored jackets look much better when your slimmer as well .

    All of this you have to look forward if you can keep the faith in the strides you are making and not let others try and derail your progress .

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    I forgot to mention the benefits in the bedroom . As mentioned you will have much more enegy and stamina and you will also be able to do many of those sex positions that you couldnt perhaps try before .

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    To be honest I don't take too much notice of NHS guidelines....they are exactly that guidelines. There is no one size fits all, they don't take into account body shape, frame etc. According the NHS I should weight between 8 and 9 stone! I didn't even weight that little on my wedding day and was only a size 14 then.

    The lowest weight I ever got down to was 9 and half stone after i had my first baby and it was probably all due to constant breastfeeding! I didn't like it though, I lost all my curves and didn't feel like me anymore. 

    Over the years weight did creep back on but I lost 4 stone just by eating better, cutting out lots of sweet snacks and exercising a lot. I'm relatively ok about how I look now although I would still like to lose a bit more tummy but spot reducing is impossible . Although the stomach vacuuming is helping with my waist! 

    Obviously my comments about the NHS guidelines are completely my own opinion based on my personal experience .

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