1. Introducing Partner to Fetishwear

    Cheeky_Guy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2013

    Hey all, thanks for reading.

    I am a keen kinkster, with, as most guys, a thing for anything that is a little kinky, and specifically pvc, rubber and thigh boots.

    I have introduced this idea to my partner, and gradually by trying a couple of parts of outfits as I appreciate is not for everyone, eg, a corset or some knee boots. We have reached a point now where I have stopped getting anything or hinting at her wearing anything like this, as she has said that she doesn't want to look like a hooker and thinks the look is a bit slutty.

    What are your pearls of wisdom on any tips to get around this? I have tried carefully on this one and not sure where to go. We do seem to struggle a bit to talk about what she likes and wants sex wise.

    Thanks in advance for help, apologies if this has already been covered too.

    Happy xmas x

    Jazzam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 254
    • Joined: 14 Apr 2009

    Sounds like she is nervous, or maybe she doesn't want to admit that she just doesn't know??

    Personally I would introduce a little bit at a time, and make a fuss over her as to how beautiful she looks.

    It's a little difficult for me to give advice on this; cause well.. I was a bit of a punk rock kid and corsets and platforms are kinda.. considered to be normal outwear in my mind...
    Infact my partner and I have recently had this argument, I got some money from my mum and spent it on two beautiful corsets and some tight fitting dresses than I can wear under it so I can show it off, without exposing myself. He thinks corsets are *too nice* to wear out and wants to keep them for the bedroom.

    It is all a matter of opinion, but I would start by letting her see some pictures maybe of elegant corset wearers, with clothes on - not just for sexual purposes. might help her lose some of that inhabition.

    Miss O [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 8 Nov 2013

    Have you found out the kind of underwear or lingere she is comfortable with wearing? I was initially never that interested in fetish gear and I started out buying myself nice pieces in lace, silk etc. Because I was comfortable in them I felt more empowered, and as a result more adventurous- started branching out more and more until I progressed onto more fet stuff, and now I'm totally into the gear I initially found intimidating.

    Communication is key here- bedroom wear can be just as much about your partner feeling sexy as you getting a kick out of it. It may be that this will never be something she's into full stop, but if you start out trying things that suit both of your comfort levels, you've got a much better foundation for progressing onto more adventurous stuff.

    Hope all goes well for you x

    dh [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 294
    • Joined: 8 Dec 2009

    Unfortunately it may just be that she really doesn't like what you want her to wear but has been putting up with it to a certain extent just to please you. She may have reached the limits of what she is comfotable with and it would be wrong to push her further if this is the case.
    On the other hand though, with a bit of good communication you may get to the bottom of the issue. It may just be that she is a littlenervous or that she thinks she doesn't look sexy wearing what you like. You should give her lots of assurances but also try to explore what she definitely does like in order to reach compromises.

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