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  1. Confidence!?!

    1504037944
    ShyAndChatty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2017

    I really love this thread, it is really quite a confidence boost as after i read all the posts i managed to take pictures of my body, i was really proud of me as i could never do it until now and i would happily update my profile picture but it doesn't take it as it's over 500K 😔😔😔

    Anyway thanks for everyone who's been posting there,it's been really important and useful to me to read, i wish i will be soon able to really accept what i look like

    ❤️❤️❤️

    1504201011
    Lil_MissNaughty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 141
    • Joined: 24 Jul 2015

    mysteron wrote:

    Confidence can also be very fragile as I am finding out. I am now having to ty and instill some confidence into my Mrs. On Sunday night at a late Cabaret Bar my Mrs was approached by another woman whilst I was visiting the Gents. In a nutshell she was saying that my Mrs wasnt good enough for me and she was punching way above her league. I have never seen this woman before, after my upset Mrs pointed her out.Our relationship is nothing to do with her and I always thought it was up to me who I chose and not somebody else! I am guessing her Modus Operandi here was to try and drive a wedge between me and my Mrs. I cant believe some women are so sneaky,manipulative and catty and would stoop so low .Whats wrong with attracting a single guy after all there is enough of them ?

    Any way her little scheme didnt work and myself and another girl who had just split up from her OH ended up cheering each other up, after such an ordeal . It just spoiled my night as well as I was playing relationship counsellor for part of the early hours of the morning as well as sipporting my Mrs.

    It just shows that one single negative comment or remark can seriously undermine some peoples confidence.Even on a forum something badly worded could also have this affect even if there isnt any intention. Thats why we need to be careful on how we word things sometimes and be prepared to apologise if something is taken the wrong way .

    How dare that woman say something so nasty to your wife. From reading your other posts I know your lovely Mrs is a 'plus size' lady and you're looking great since you've lost weight etc. so maybe she did want to drive a wedge between you or simply put your Mrs down which is terrible.

    I really hope your wife can get her confidence back - I know you'll do all you can to help reasssure her.

    You're right that badly worded comments on a forum can cause offence, as you cannot hear the tone of their voice or see their face. Most of the time it's totally unintentional but the upset it causes can be hard to resolve.

    1514874791
    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 7354
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    This is something I have been giving some more thought to as I have noticed in my absence from the forum has cropped up again.

    I will use myself here as an example.

    Putting looks aside for a moment ,the best way to gain more confidence is to look at one's positives first. Basically how your behaviours or things that you are good at would benefit a potential partner. I will just list a few of mine here

    1) I have good manners and courteous

    2) I am a good dancer and like to "Own" the dance floor .I think this is probably a strength as well as many guys I have seen particularly singles will hideaway on the perimiter looking on in the hope that they would get noticed.

    3) Good dresser. I am perhaps a little old fashioned here and probably also of my former banking background .I just can't see how a baggy T Shirt and jeans and scruffy shoes is going to attract anyone.

    4) Tend to behave myself and I don't let alcohol control my actions . This doesn't mean I don't have a good time but stops me coming across as an annoying idiot.

    5) In conjunction with number 2 I started appreciating music from other genres

    Now onto the negatives. The way to do this in my opinion is tonstartcwith the easy things to work on.

    1) In my case this would be my looks .I lost the scraggly beard for a trimmed version and had my hair trimmed regularly by an hairdresser.

    2) Body confidence. Best way in my opinion here is to bite the bullet. Get naked in front of your partner .If no partner then the mirror. The only way anyone is going to appreciate your body is if you do in the first instance.A fun way of doing this with your partner is to play a stripping game .Many of these are available from Lovehoney and are inexpensive.

    3) In conjunction with number 2 I also lost a lot of weight and now quite very slim and toned .

    Concentrating on one's positives and overcoming the negatives one by one will help IMO to overcome confidence and body confidence issues .

    Surprisingly to many of you I have still one negative to conquer that is my shyness tendency which has probably dogged me most of my life. However meeting different couples when we go out is slowly helping me to overcome this.

    Just some thoughts of mine on confidence and I dare say it is a topic that I will return to in the future .

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