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  1. Sexy lingerie- boost or lower self-esteem?

    thedevils-little-helper [sign in to see picture]
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    I have pretty low self esteem. I have big, horrible self harm scars completely covering one arm, from my wrist to my shoulder, a little patch of them on my stomach, and another patch on one of my thighs. (I was young and in a very bad place, please no judging). On top of that, I also have a permanant red rash with little tiny spots on both of my upper arms which my doctor said no amount of any cream or lotion will get rid of. Apparently I'm just unlucky in having it. So yeah, I have pretty ugly skin (in my opinion anyway, my fiance doesnt care in the slightest). Due to having such a low opinion of myself, i lost my sex drive completely for about a year and recently recovered it, so i thought i'd try some sexy lingerie for the first time. but with my self esteem being so bad, i'm scared i might end up trying it on, looking in the mirror and hating it. so, a question for other women with self esteem issues, did wearing sexy lingerie make you feel better, or worse? i really want to be able to wear some for my fiance. :(

    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    Even though I am IMMENSELY unhappy with certain parts of my body (lower belly and thighs) and even though I rather assume I may never even find anyone who would be willing to date me (I guess you can imagine the level of self-esteem - or lack thereof - in a person who is about to turn 28 and has never ever had a boyfriend), I think that some lingerie items are capable of enhancing those better bits of myself while hiding those I am seriously ashamed of. I would say that pretty lingerie can make you feel (a bit, anyway) better, even in the case you are not happy with your body. It is worth a try. ;-)

    Never know [sign in to see picture]
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    Sexy lingerie makes me feel sexy as long as I think it fits right. there are some beautiful lingerie bits and pieces out there so don't be afraid to try some.

    Maybe a body stocking like this one would be a good place to start, it's not exposing any part of your body but incredibly sexy.


    Lorah13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    Nothing makes me feel sexier than wearing a matching bra and knickers. Be warned though lingerie can become quite addictive!

    sassykitten;) [sign in to see picture]
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    Sexy knickers always makes me feel a million dollars xxx

    TickleMeTots [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 7 Jun 2014

    Lingerie to me is the best thing in the world! I am working and studying within the industry of lingerie, and seeing how it can effect they way women feel about themselves is amazing and makes me so happy to be apart of that!

    I too have self harm scars all over me, but mostly around my crotch which is the very last place to have those kind of scars. Regardless of them being so ugly, it doesn't stop me appreciating my body and during a bad day I'll throw on some sexy lingerie and remind myself that it's not all that bad :)

    Young and fun95 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 6 Jun 2014

    I have scars on my belly too! Some are really bad. I like to see It as evidence I was once in a place and wanted to die but here I am, how bloody strong am I kind of thing. Be proud of them, you got through it. On the lingerie side though, some things make me feel ridiculous some make me feel sexy, start off small, some nice nickers and matching bra, then add a suspender belt and stockings, then an open cup bra then try something a little more adventurous, this is where I'm stuck though. Enjoy!

    thedevils-little-helper [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all the support! I'm feeling a lot better about buying some now :) I hope I feel as sexy as you all do!

    BDSM-curious [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sure you look fantastic but if you are worried there are many items you can wear to cover bits up. There are gloves, stockings, waspies, ton of things that look sexy even though you are wearing "clothes". Have a look around and see what you think you would be comfortable with. Body stocking is a good suggestion or even a crotchless catsuit with killer heels.

    There is a 356 returns policy if you don't like something, just return it and try again.

    Sorry I didn't answer your question. Lingerie, or a combination of sexy clothes makes me feel more sexy, or I just wouldn't wear it. 

    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    FYI the little red bump rash on back of the arms was something I have dealt with and you may have Keratosis Pilaris and I have been able to improve the appearance of this with exfoliating and some gentle exfoliation with a light acid cream. Google it and you may get some ideas that are helpful.

    Lingerie is something I love and is a self esteem boost for me, especially when you see a partner's reaction. The key is finding a style that fits your body type well and that you feel good wearing.

    Babydolls are a great and forgiving type and Lovehoney carries a lot of them. There are also some lingerie types that offer long sleeves or you can always slip on a nice robe to start if you prefer to cover your upper arms.

    Regardless of the cause I don't know any women that don't have confidence issues related to scars, jiggles or whatnot. Focus on what you do love.

    thedevils-little-helper [sign in to see picture]
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    Vanessa, i looked up Keratosis Pilaris and it does look very similar to what's on me, i wonder why my doctor said he didn't know what it was. useless nhs lol. thank you for the tips on how to deal with it :) i feel more low about it than i do about the scars to be honest. thanks to all you lovely people i've decided to f*** it and try some lingerie! :)

    Foxxy [sign in to see picture]
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    Vitamin E gel will help with the scars, and because it helps with the texture of skin, may help a little with the little bumps. You need to keep your skin super hydrated

    I think there is lingerie that we've all tried on and hated ourselves in, so don't be disheartened if you only find something you love on the first try. You'll soon find something you love :-) Bodystockings may indeed be a great place to start, sometimes it's sexier to be holding something back if you see what I mean, and they're sexy without being too revealing.

    Your scars are a map that led you to being you, accept them as part of your history & move on to enjoying a beautiful future :-)

    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    Look at sizing and have fun. The member photos can also give you an idea on how some items appear in real.life vs. Just professional models.

    If you put something on or try something you don't feel is flattering tge rerun policy is awesome with Lovehoney.

    I had a dermatologist diagnose the arm issue so if you saw a general doctor they may just not know as much.

    Foxxy [sign in to see picture]
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    Excuse the auto corrected word! Lol

    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
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    P.S. No one here is judging your past but instead here to encourage a fulfilling future. :)

    Friday13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have self harm scars on my arms, stomach and thighs too. It's funny, I actually forget about them sometimes (or forget other people don't have them) because they are so much part of me now. I don't know how long you have had the scars but hopefully in time they won't affect you as much. Scars aren't something to be ashamed of or to hide, they are just part of your history.

    As you said, your fiancé doesn't care that you have scars or rashes. He obviously cares about you and imperfect skin won't change that

    When in it comes to sexy lingerie, I think the most important thing is to be comfortable. Which parts of your body are you most comfortable with and which are you particularly self conscious about? For me, my thighs are one of the parts I most dislike so I find a short skirt covers them and can also look pretty hot. If your stomach bothers you then a babydolls might be the answer. You could also add gauntlets or long gloves to cover your arms.

    I'm not sure where you are in the world but if you are in the UK, the NHS has a skin camouflage service which is suitable for people with skin conditions, birthmarks and scars (include scars from self harm). I don't think you should feel you need to hide your scars but it is an option https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/Skin-Camouflage

    Lovehoney - Sian [sign in to see picture]
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    I always find a baby doll is great for hiding any bits that I am unhappy with


    paulsballs [sign in to see picture]
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    Whatever you wear you've got to to feel good in it and it's got to be good for you firstly, good luck and I hope you begin to like and enjoy your body.

    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I find that if I can disguise the bits I'm unhappy with ( and there are a few ! ) with some nice lingerie it does give me a confidence boost. For me babydolls or anything that covers my stomach are good but the main thing is to wear something that you feel comfortable in. A good bodystocking can disguise a lot but without making you feel too covered up. some of the flowerey patterned ones are brill at this.

    MissNoir [sign in to see picture]
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    I had very bad anxiety for a few years and although it's nothing like it used to be, it still comes back and floors my confidence, one of the worst things I've been told was that "no one will want me physically bcause of the scars I've given myself".

    Lingerie is the one escape for me to make me feel my best, I do it for me, not anyone else. It gives me back the confidence I lost and pushes my anxiety to the back of my mind , I feel best in lace & silk knickers and stockings.

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