1. Punctuation Crazy

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    I've noticed that in a few of my recent reviews someone has edited them and gone comma-crazy. 🙂I'm trying to not let it get to me but comma-abuse is a pet niggle of mine. There's a chance I've forgotten all that I learned on my English degree as it has been awhile so if there's any tips you'd like to give me to avoid my sentences getting such a beating in the edit it would be greatly appreciated (and save us both a bit of work 🙂).

    Thanks 👍

    (The ones I have in mind are these)

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=40340&reviewid=266469#customer_reviews

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39742&reviewid=260766#customer_reviews

    1560260807
    Smultron [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not a native English speaker, so take my input with a grain of salt. 

    In those two reviews, about 60-70% of the commas were placed correctly (in my opinion!) and made it easier for me to understand the sentences as I was reading them. Some of the commas could have been omitted, and one or two of them made me re-read the sentence because they weren't used at the right place.

    Now, I don't know what the text you submitted looked like, but generally it's a good idea to use either a comma or a full stop at least once in each line . That can be 2-3 lines if you're on your phone.

    This way you can avoid very long sentences where you don't know what's referring to what and can easily get confused or have to read the entire thing all over again maybe multiple times before you get it. (I used no commas here, hope this makes it a bit easier to understand what I mean...) 

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    defam [sign in to see picture]
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    Can't speak for the Lovehoney editors, but I do have professional editing experience.

    That second paragraph is a single 5-line sentence. It's grammatically correct, but I'd be putting some full-stops in there to make it less of a mouthful (that's what she said!).

    Maybe the editors are sticking commas in as the easiest way to break up the clauses. But it might be preferable to just have fewer clauses per sentence from the get-go.

    Props for having this level of dedication to your reviewing.  

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    defam [sign in to see picture]
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    Ironically, I can't seem to edit my forum post! But I meant the second paragraph of the vibrator review, just to clarify.

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    I do have a copy of the original but I'm having a few issues posting it (I'm assuming it's too long for a post as it's giving me the 'blocked' screen). I'll try something else and have another pop at posting it.

    I don't write as much as I used to so there's a good chance my sentences have become overly verbose and cumbersome. If that is it case I can take that on board and adapt my style. 👍🙂

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    No, it's not letting me do the whole thing. I'll chop it up.

    We were drawn to this vibrator as we love toys with an unusual shape and we thought the dual stimulation/butterfly wings combo would be a lot of fun. We've tried quite a few rabbits in the past and the different clitoral stimulation offered by the wings of this toy was very intriguing.

    Firstly I should mention that when we first opened it we did notice that everything in the case had an unusual factory smell that we've not experienced with any of our other silicone toys before which was a little off-putting, but airing it out overnight worked a treat so it wasn't a significant problem in the end (I've still not pinpointed the exact culprit but I think it might have been the print of the instruction book fugging up the case).

    For anyone that's already tried a Desire toy before there won't be too many surprises as this one comes in the signature Desire purple with a smooth but firm silicone skin, as well as its very own soft storage pouch (which you can leave the toy in to charge discreetly). It fits in really well with the rest of the range and the unusual shape also adds something special that's not already covered by the other Desire styles we've tried.

    It has 3 buttons for ease of use; a + and - to increase and decrease the intensity, and a centre button for changing between the modes. From a 100 minute charge you get a pretty decent 40 minutes run-time on low (which does decrease if you crank it up, but still more than enough for us). Noise-wise it's quite discreet, though if you have the internal on one pattern and the external on another the asymmetry can make it seem louder but it's still easily muffled by a duvet and a closed door.

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    The dual motors do operate independently but you can't control them independently so you have to rely on the pre-set combination modes. Mode 1 being the constant setting for both motors, and mode 2 and 3 being one motor without the other. The other 5 modes are a mix of the other patterns (a selection of 6 in total, including constant). As there's only 5 pattern mode combinations you may find that you can't get your favourite internal one combined with your favourite external one but I think they've picked a good mix to choose from so there's a bit of something for everybody.

    As there's 12 intensities there's quite a bit of variation to tailor the power to suit, but once again you have to increase the intensity for both motors simultaneously so you can't have the internal on slow throbbing and the external on super-intense. It still works really well I just think that I may be a control freak who would love to fiddle about with all the different permutations, but I appreciate that having the pre-sets makes it much more user-friendly for the average Joe.

    The vibrations are very good but I'd say that they're not the most powerful/rumbliest we've experienced. They're in line with the majority of the other Desire toys we've tried (apart from the bullet which is significantly more rumbly and powerful). Mrs Chimp likes that they're a notch down from the super-powerful ones as this gives her a more leisurely and lengthy build up without being numbing.

    Personal anatomy is key to most dual stimulation toys and we did find with this one that when Mrs Chimp had it just where she wanted it internally it left the butterfly wings quite far away from her clitoris. There isn't any flexibility in the clitoral arm itself to move the wings any closer manually but you can adjust how you hold it/position it to get a fair approximation of a good fit. I think with a little more experimentation she could get it closer still, but so far the perfect position has eluded her. Rocking it and sliding it in and up also seems to work well.

    The accidentally amazing thing about it for Mrs Chimp is that if she gets the internal arm perfectly positioned there's enough space to use her Lelo Sona as well so she gets triple stimulation as the butterfly wings flutter against all the bits inbetween. This works extremely well when used with one of the asymmetrical pattern modes as there's a lot going on down there which I think blew her mind a little bit. Add in a little bit of nipple play too and she didn't know if she was coming or going. No, that's not quite right, she definitely knew she was coming.

    It's a solid addition to the Desire stable, and we've had a lot of fun exploring how best to use it for us, though I admit we did think it would be easier to use straight out of the box.

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm down a rabbit hole now. I can feel parts of my brain that I thought had died long ago. 🙂

    I think I should have split the 2nd paragraph in two about here-ish.

    Firstly I should mention that when we first opened it we did notice that everything in the case had an unusual factory smell that we've not experienced with any of our other silicone toys before. We did find it a little off-putting, but airing it out overnight worked a treat so it wasn't a significant problem in the end (I've still not pinpointed the exact culprit but I think it might have been the print of the instruction book fugging up the case).

    Editing my reviews seems like it must be hard work so if I can get them even a little closer to legible it should save someone at least a bit of effort. 🙂

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    HunnyMonster29 [sign in to see picture]
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    I've seen this happen with my reviews, too. If it helps to make them easier to understand then I'm all for it. Some of the uses seem to come off more like American grammar to me (like putting commas before "and" and "but"). So it's not exactly incorrect but another way to write it.

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    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't have an English degree, but reading your un-edited reveiws out loud leaves me running out of breath before the end of some of the sentences. 

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    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, I think I can see what I've done wrong now. I'm still not a massive fan of the million comma edit but if I'd done a better job in the first place they wouldn't have had to go to that much effort.

    Thanks guys, you've been very helpful. 👍🙂

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    defam [sign in to see picture]
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    HunnyMonster29 wrote:

    Some of the uses seem to come off more like American grammar to me (like putting commas before "and" and "but"). So it's not exactly incorrect but another way to write it.

    I don't think it is an Americanism to use a comma before a conjunction like "and" or "but". Most British style guides and university departments seem to recommend this as good grammar.

    Americans do make greater use of the Oxford comma (which comes before "and" at the end of a list) - but that's a completely separate issue.

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    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    Ian I’m not great at punctuation, and if I’m honest I never really know where I should and shouldn’t use a comma. I tend to put them where you would take breath when reading a sentence, but it’s pure guesswork for me. 

    When im reading a review I don’t really pay attention to the punctuation. I’m  more interested in the feel of the review, what the reviewer is trying to get across. If the over use of commas bothers you there is always the option of bullet points or finding a way to phrase a sentence so it’s shorter. 

    I hope the abuse of commas stops and that punctuation is free to roam agin soon. 😉

    , ! “\?(*’,;/-:, 

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    Watershed [sign in to see picture]
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    This is my first visit to the forums. This is the first thread I read. I would just like to register my surprise and pleasure.

    I'm twinkling not only at its content, but also at the delightful way you all tallk to each other here. Such light-hearted civility is so rarely found amoung grammar nerds.

    I'm feeling quite overcome!

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    K&c30's [sign in to see picture]
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    Smultron [sign in to see picture]
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    Hah, one of my recent reviews was edited and the phrase ''which my SOs love'' was changed to ''which my SO loves''  I totally understand how that could have been an original typo, but I'm polyamorous and have multiple partners. My Special Others love that handheld stroker! 

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