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  1. Sweet 16 for Lovehoney!

    1524133733
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2734
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    Hello all,

    As mentioned before, I have another competition for you all...

    So it is Sexual Happiness Week and we are getting closer to our 16th Birthday Celebrations - Ah sweet 16l!

    We want you to come up with your best birthday song for and about Lovehoney.  

    I have 3 prizes to give away: The We-Vibe Gala The PDX Male toy  Seduce Me Vibrating Thong

    This mini bundle will be sent to the person who enters this comp with a winning birthday song (some runner-up points to give out too). Make us laugh, make as cry - do your... Best!

    So go on... What would you sing to us at our Birthday Bash?

    **Competition closes Midnight Saturday 21st April - entries after this time will not be counted. One entry per member. Competition is via Lovehoney forum only. Winner(s) will be announced Monday 23rd April. Forum rules still apply**

    1524134862
    Tazzy84red [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 943
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2017

    Do we email it of just post on this thread. How exciting x

    1524135399
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2734
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    Tazzy84red wrote:

    Do we email it of just post on this thread. How exciting x

    Just post it here :) 

    1524138058
    subbysam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 156
    • Joined: 19 May 2014

    Hey Leanne,
    Is this suggest a known song or write one?
    Thanks
    Sam

    1524138327
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2734
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2014

    subbysam wrote:

    Hey Leanne,
    Is this suggest a known song or write one?
    Thanks
    Sam

    Total freedom for creativity... Write one or use one you know adapted for Lovehoney's birthday.

    1524139634
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1627
    • Joined: 9 Oct 2005

    I’ll get the party started ... *clears throat*

    Go, Lovehoney, It's your birthday!
    We gon' party like it's your birthday
    We gon' buy tons of dildos like it's your birthday
    And you know we gon earn loads of OH points because its your birthday! 🎵 🎂

    Happy birthday to Lovehoney and congratulations to all the staff as I think
    I speak for everyone when I say you guys are truly on another level 🙌🏻

    1524144502
    LR2017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 217
    • Joined: 3 Apr 2017

    Based in "Happy Birthday Sweet 16" by Neil Sedaka

    Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

    Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    Happy birthday Lovehoney

    Tonight's the night I've waited for

    Because you're not a simple web anymore

    You've turned into the best online shop I've ever seen,

    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

    Since I met you I changed my face

    My body now wears satin and lace

    Thanks to you I have fulfilled all my dreams

    Happy birthday Lovehoney

    When I did not know you, my sex life was like other

    But you arrived and you gave me happiness like no other

    Thanks to you for me, every day is Valentine

    Butt-plugs, dildos, strap-ons, and more

    they are all going to be mine, so

    Everytime I see a brown box I smile with sweet surprise

    It's just that Happiness is in front of my eyes

    You've turned into the prettiest webI've ever seen

    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

    Everytime I squirt with sweet surprise

    It's just that you brought pleasure to my life

    You've turned into the prettiest web I've ever seen

    Happy birthday sweet Lovehoney

    Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

    Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    Happy birthday Lovehoney

    Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    Happy birthday sweet sixteen [Fade]

    1524145467
    lemans [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 28 Aug 2013

    To the tune of "Happy Birthday":

    Happy Birthday to you

    Toys and lingerie for two

    Selling passion and hot fashion.......

    Happy Birthday to you!

    1524146996
    Colonel Lube [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 259
    • Joined: 6 Oct 2005

    To the tune of Sour Times by Portishead - I am sure it would sound great in Beth Gibbons supreme voice.

    For toys only you can find

    For fantasies of morning love

    forbidden Fruit, hidden eyes

    lingerie that I desire on you

    Try it on, place an order now

    'Cause you are Lovehoney

    It's true

    We love you too

    Covered by the satin sheen

    For fantasies and bondage dreams

    Lubes for all, positions to try

    Try that vibe, time for you to sigh, enjoy

    Take a ride, orgasms now

    'Cause you are Lovehoney

    It's true

    We love you too

    Lingerie, toys and how

    Cause you have it all making lovers memory

    oh these sweet times

    'Cause you are Lovehoney

    It's true

    We love you too

    After time the orgasms crave

    of pleasure, master or slave

    Offers abound, expert staff

    Resolving queries in teaching vids

    selling you pleasure

    'Cause you are Lovehoney

    It's true

    We love you too

    'Cause you are Lovehoney

    It's true

    We love you too

    Lovehoney

    its true

    happy birthday to you.

    1524148900
    Looker [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 26
    • Joined: 14 Mar 2016

    An Ode to Lovehoney by Miss Looker:

    A long time ago in Bath

    Richard and Neal had a laugh

    They made lovehoney

    To generate some money

    now all they needed was some staff.

    Along came a lass called Bonny

    Who fixed up the site in a volley

    They won loads of awards!

    And are moving towards

    Fixing the worlds sex melancholy!

    Leanne keeps things smooth in the forum

    And bondage lessons from Jess cure boredom!

    Annabelle and Lisa

    Star in Lovehoneys theatre

    And all postpone sex life mortem!

    Now as we approach your sixteenth birthday

    We let out a grand hoo-ray!

    When i buy sex toys online

    I'm in for a good time

    Because you always deliver next day!

    On your birthday we wish you a great time!

    Your service is truely sublime!

    Here's to sixteen more years

    Filled with sex toys and cheers!

    Maybe by then i'll be better at rhyme!

    1524151212
    subbysam [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 156
    • Joined: 19 May 2014

    To the tune of the fairytale of newyork:

    It was sweet sixteen day
    In the kink tank
    A forumer said to me, life starts at 18 here.
    Got an offer email,
    and bought more in the sale,
    then the boxes arrived,
    awaiting review.

    A six inch real-life cock
    some hot stone massage rocks,
    a red silicone thing,
    and couples love ring.
    But happy birthday
    dearest lovehoney
    I can’t see a better time
    to buy something new.

    A butt plug, some panties
    for fetish fantasies
    A wand and some lube
    and restraints for the door.
    When i first took my wand
    Alone on that eve
    I shouted and screamed
    and went weak at the knees.

    A lelo,
    A we-vibe
    A tenga for quiet nights,
    When we had finished playing
    We cried out for more
    with questions on swinging,
    And prizes for winning,
    Signed up for the forums
    Got lost on the boards.

    And as I was ordering,
    Singing happy birthday,
    The toys were buzzing out
    And here to stay

    1524156301
    Tazzy84red [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 943
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2017

    Sweet (REMOVED. Remember lovehoney starts at 18) th birthday song.

    I stumbled across lovehoney many moons ago Hoping to get my juices to flow, little did I know of a magical place for us adults to go, to set our own pace. Without the red shame on on face.

    Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

    Section after section of my favourite lace. all will just fall into place. With butt plugs Galore and many many more in store. Weather your a man women or don't want a label lovehoney has something for us all to take a gamble.


    Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

    Cocks and balls big or small moving bits that give their all. Glow in the dark and light up vibrators . realistic fannys and magic wands. Your in for a treat they stock everything even for your feet. Dress to impress with lovehoneys best buys. You won't know till you try.


    Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

    With everything under 1 roof
    With their magic fairys, unicorns and some top secret squirrels spreading their hopes and dreams and everlasting orgasms all round at the click of a button.bringing the world joy for love of toys. lovehoney has to be THE NUMBER 1 ADULT STORE.


    Happy birthday to you. Who supplies us with the best lubes and in different size tubes. What we do without you.

    1524160744
    Vanessa8 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3070
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    set to the tune of Sixteen Candles by The Crests

    Happy Birthday, happy birthday lovehoney
    Oh, I love you so
    Sixteen candles make a lovely light
    But not as bright as a sparkle butt plug tonight
    Blow out the massage candles
    Make your wish come true
    For I'll be wishing that you spank me too

    You're only sixteen but you're my sexual happiness queen
    You're the best, the loveliest online retailer I've ever seen
    Sixteen massage candles in my shopping cart with go
    Forever and ever
    For I love to shop you so

    You're only sixteen but you're my sexual happiness queen
    Oh, you're the realest, the honest online retailer I've ever seen
    All your special offers in my heart will glow
    Forever and ever
    For I love you so
    Oh, I love you so

    1524162499
    LittleMugs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2055
    • Joined: 23 Nov 2017

    I just won a competition so I'm not going to enter this one, just wanted to say good luck everyone! Happy birthday Lovehoney :)

    1524166551
    нинаnin [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 411
    • Joined: 1 Dec 2016

    Ohhhh Lovehoney

    The beautiful Westcountry rose

    Bringing smiles and stings

    Wherever she goes

    I saw her

    In the early noughties

    I was feeling naughty

    Or so I thought, see

    I was a young buck

    I only knew how to... duck

    Out of giving pleasure

    It was all about leisure

    Lovely Lovehoney

    My bountiful bunny

    It is quite funny

    How everything's better runny

    Ohhhhhhhhh Lovehoney

    (insert Prince gif here)

    1524167674
    P H [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 4 Oct 2017

    Don't stop me now - Queen

    1524169592
    Mr Pheebs [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3837
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2016

    I dunno if this is any good but read it to Bruch Springsteen’s Streets of Philadelphia please X it’s from the heart, hope you like it.

    ...........................................................................................................

    Marriage bruised and battered, didn’t know how We felt, We were unrecognizable her and myself

    Saw our sexual energy, guttering after children, dying fast.

    Wasn’t going to quit, but how could it last?

    On the treadmill of liife, Nana na na nanana. Nana na nanana. Nana na nanana nanana na na naah.

    Aint no Angel going to help me, we are in this all ourselves.

    But there’s is one company that I’d trust, Lovehoney you’re just the Best...

    ........................................

    So I joined the forums and bought some new toys,

    She didn’t understand at first, why I’d talk to the girls and boys

    About things sex related,but I learned and grew

    Now I know myself much better, I’m happier too

    And it’s because of LoveHoneyNana na na nanana. Nana na nanana. Nana na nanana nanana na na naah.

    Aint no angel going to fix me, just the ones right here right no-oww

    The special staff at Lovehoney

    And the forum crowd.

    .........................................

    I have a special woman, a solemate and my friend

    And I’m glad I’m part of LoveHoney, relationship helped mend.

    I thank you for the trust you give, reviewing of your gear.

    So happy 16th birthday Nana na na nanana. Nana na nanana. Nana na nanana nanana na na naah.

    Aint no angel going to fix me, But LoveHoney team will try.

    So to the special that is LoveHoney,

    Ill thank you all right now X

    1524172005
    K&c30's [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 964
    • Joined: 15 Dec 2017

    Ok please excuse the following terrible attempt of being creative. I am soooo sorry if you end up reading this.

    I think it's fairly obvious that it's set to the song 'it's raining men'
    ________________________________________

    Hi, hi we're your Lovehoney girls
    Ah-huh
    And have we got news for you
    You better listen
    Get ready, all you lonely girls
    And leave those reviews when your done
    Boredom is rising, temperature in the bedroom is getting low
    According to all sources, Lovehoney's the place to go (we better hurry up)
    'Cause tonight for the first time
    Just about half-past ten
    For the first time in history
    It's gonna start raining toys
    It's raining toys, hallelujah, it's raining vibes, amen
    I'm gonna to my room and let myself get
    Absolutely soaking wet
    It's raining butt plugs, hallelujah
    It's raining dildo's, every specimen
    Thick, thin, dark and lean
    Rough and tough and strong and some are even look mean
    God bless Lovehoney, she's a single woman too
    She took off to stigma hat and she did what she had to do
    She taught every woman how to enjoy sexual happiness
    So that each and every woman could find her perfect toy
    Oh, it's raining anal beads, yeah
    Men's parts are rising
    Boredoms getting low
    According to all sources
    Lovehoney's the place to go
    'Cause tonight for the first time
    Just about half past ten
    For the first time in history
    It's gonna start raining toys
    It's stocked with Gags, hallelujah
    It's stocked with restraints, amen
    It's stocked with strokers, hallelujah
    It's stocked with nipple clamps, amen
    It's stocked with lingerie, hallelujah
    It's stocked with spankers, amen
    It's stocked with orgasm enhancers, hallelujah
    Oh oh oh oh
    It's raining vibes
    Classic, powerful, quiet and supreme
    Smooth and tough and strong and sure to make you scream
    Hallelujah it's raining toys

    1524175786
    jodielawsonx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 46
    • Joined: 3 Sep 2015

    This is mine , the song is Mousse T , Horny .. but Love honey Style , this is all I have got LOL!! takes me back to my teens,

    Good luck everyone , some fab ones posted. Love the raining men one , gave me a good giggle!!

    You got me horny in the morning and you know,

    I tried to call you for phone sex but you didn't answer the telephone ,

    I got excited so I decided to use my love honey basic,

    and order a magic wand,

    The post it didn't take so long, so I've got to sing this song

    To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby (20% of woohoo)

    And I can't wait for you, and the things LOVEHONEY make me do

    My heart and clits tingiling so I'm singing this song for you ,

    Love honey ,

    honey , honey , honey

    Love honey,

    I'm horny, horny, horny

    Love honey,

    horny , horny , horny

    love honey,

    I'm horny, horny, horny all night.

    I searched your website for my perfect sex toy ,

    I got so horny I ordered a big vibrator , it will come in 24 hours ,

    Someones at my door who could it be , I am a little flustered,

    Its a BIG BROWN PACKAGE! (RIPS OPEN IN MY MIND)

    I will keep turning ME on ,

    This feeling's much too strong

    My heart is ringing and my clit is tingiling I'm singing this song for you

    Love honey ,

    honey , honey , honey

    Love honey,

    I'm horny, horny, horny

    Love honey,

    horny , horny , horny

    love honey,

    I'm horny, horny, horny all night.

    The post it didn't take so long, so I gotta sing this song

    To let you know how I feel, what's the deal baby (20% off again!!)

    And I can't wait for you(ordered again dammit) and the things you make me too

    My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

    Happy Birthday!

    Birthday , birthday , birthday ,

    Happy birthday ,

    Birthday , birthday , birthday

    Love Honey

    honey , honey , honey

    love honey happy 16th today!

    1524175850
    jodielawsonx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 46
    • Joined: 3 Sep 2015

    K&c30's yours is amazing , you have got this , made me laugh out load x

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