• Roses are Red. Violets are Blue, we want to know more from you... COMPETITION!

    1486939681
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    Roses are red, violets are blue
    And once upon a time I loved you
    But after all we've been through
    Some home truths are well overdue

    I hate it when you piss on the seat
    And the chopping sound when you eat
    I hate your god dam awful smelly feet
    But most of all I hate you're a cheat

    I hate that I have to hear you snore
    And in the bedroom you're a bore
    I hate it when you leave your shit on the floor
    Man, I just want to slam your head in the door

    I hate the way you keep telling me lies
    And act as though part of me never dies
    I hate the way you treat me like a prize
    So I went and got myself some advise

    This year theres no card or present due
    Hubby I've got some news for you
    Hang in there I'll give you a clue
    Next door but one her name is Sue

    9 years together, 7 we've been Wed
    Each year I've got a dozen roses in red
    And a card, "I love you" they said
    But this year I'll have a divorce instead

    Happy Valentines!

    1486940116
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Jul 2015

    Bugger me there's a typo *chomping.

    1486975368
    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 2 Feb 2015

    I've had a go at my entry over the weekend. Good luck everyone some great entries have been submitted.

    Fifty shades darker
    Will leave it's marker
    For our starters
    I wore LHM boxers
    Which suited my partner
    As she wore her garter
    Which got me rather hotter
    As we watched fifty shades darker.

    After our valentines date
    We were sure to mate.
    Which would be great
    As we were to celebrate
    My wife wanted to dominate
    While I awaited my fate
    I was set to stimulate
    While I wait
    I ate an after eight.

    Thank you for our darker masks
    They were quite the task
    As my wife wore a basque
    With her mask.
    Lovehoney we thank.

    1486977351
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Here's our entry, based on the Valentine's Toy Bundle for him to the music of Side to Side :)

    Saw it on the What's New page
    Went back and forth for a few days
    Not sure what he would even say
    But I wasn't gonna get him nothin (no, nothin)
    So I went and got it
    And it all turned out okay
    He loves having his own toys to play
    Which is really damn sexy to me (to me)

    His views on sex toys changed so much
    From one male toy bundle
    Can't believe all it took

    Was the O-Force 2, a Sqweel XT
    And a pleasure Cup from Tokidoki
    So much fun, for him and for me
    What another great buy from Lovehoney

    1486983253
    Doubleshadow [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 19 Apr 2014

    Roses are grey

    Violets are grey

    But then, I'm a dog

    1486987933
    Alice1991 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 3 Nov 2014

    Roses are red
    Grass is green
    Bend me over and make me scream
    Don't buy me chocolates
    Or give me money
    Just get me a butt plug from Lovehoney

    1486990413
    Miss rosie bloom [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 6 Oct 2005

    I'm on my own oh yes I'm single
    But I still want that certain tingle
    To make me buzz and feel the joys
    I count on all my lovehoney toys..
    This valentines I'm not expecting flowers
    Just time to play with myself for hours..
    My toys do not kiss Me or cook me a meal
    But they know how to excite til they're making me squeal

    1486991519
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    **COMPETITION HAS NOW CLOSED** 

    Winner will be selected and announced later today 

    Thank you all heart

    1486993135
    Boox [sign in to see picture]
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    Good luck everyone! Some fantastic entries come through! Xx

    1486993240
    *AdamKR* [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 21 Sep 2009

    Good luck everyone - all of the entries ive read have been brilliant

    1486993380
    Choconala [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 11 Feb 2012

    🍀🍀 good luck everyone! 🍀🍀

    1486999262
    Lovehoney - Leanne [sign in to see picture]
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    lmh95 wrote:

    Sung to the tune of:
    Can't take my eyes off of you - Frankie Valli

    Lovehoney is the best place it's true
    To make all of our Valentine's day dreams come true
    Their vast selection is such
    That I want to order so much
    The parcel will quickly arrive
    And our sex life will spark back alive
    Lovehoney is the best place it's true
    There's always something exciting and new

    With first class customer care
    There's nowhere else that can compare
    With live chat discreetly online you can speak
    To advice what's best to give your love life a tweak
    They know how nervous newbies can feel
    But they can reassure you it's really no big deal
    Lovehoney is the best place it's true
    To get a Valentine's gift or two

    I love you baby and we'll be up all night
    I need you baby to reach the highest heights
    I love you baby thrust in me and we'll play
    Oh pretty baby you'll tie me down all day
    Oh pretty baby now that I've bound you, stay
    And let me Lovehoney you baby,
    let me Lovehoney you

    Lovehoney is the best place it's true
    To make all of our Valentine's day dreams come true
    With floggers, pinwheels, feather ticklers and such
    I'll excitedly quiver from your touch
    Our bodies will truly feel alive
    When we experiment with a new toy or five
    Lovehoney is the best place it's true
    To find the perfect Valentine's gift for you

    I'd love you baby to tie my corset tight
    I need you baby to try some of Lovehoney's sweet delight
    I love you baby trust in me with some blindfold play
    Oh pretty baby we'll try warm oil or ice cubes today
    Oh pretty baby you'll feel it really good, okay?
    So let me Lovehoney you baby, let me Lovehoney you.

    I am pleased to anounce the winner of our Lovehoney bundle is lmh95 with entry above

    Thank you all for the participation, really great enteries ! 

    Have a lovely Valetine's day all heart

    1486999508
    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    Congrats lmh95, well done

    1486999614
    lovingnewtoys [sign in to see picture]
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    Congrats lmh95 - just brilliant!!

    And congrats to you too Leanne for working your way through all the great entries and being brave enough to pick a winner - well done everyone xx

    1486999651
    Boox [sign in to see picture]
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    I knew you'd get it I'd but this cover on iTunes! Congrats on your win lmh95!! 🔥

    1486999849
    Couple looking to spice things up [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations xx

    1487001384
    bondagegod [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations lmh95 it was a great entry and enjoy your prize.

    1487003026
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations lmh95, great job xx

    1487004477
    Scared'lil'pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 16 Jan 2017

    Congrats Imh95, enjoy Valentine's Day 😆

    1487004480
    captainmeow [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 18 Sep 2016

    Congrats lmh95!

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