The Telegraph has done us a favour by rounding up the first batch of Fifty Shades of Grey movie reviews. The Telegraph's own reviewer Tim Robey described the film as "electric".
Variety magazine described the film as a sly tragicomedy of manners - "Jane Austen with a riding crop".
Lovely employer that it is, Lovehoney has booked a screen at the Odeon in Bath for a free screening for all employees and their partners. Whips, crops and nipple clamps are not being provided (but are available with a generous staff discount!)
Feeling inspired? Re-create scenes from the movie with the inspirational Fifty Shades of Grey Red Room Collection or treat yourself to something from the Official Pleasure Collection.
A typical day in the life at Lovehoney can often lead to unusual and unusually entertaining conversations and to equally unusual parts of the Internet. Currently we're stroking our chins over how best to make fake vaginas and marvelling at the ingenuity displayed by people who have had similar thoughts.
The classic site Home Made Sex Toys has a great article on how to make a Fleshlight style masturbator, which is quite possibly the best use of an empty Pringles tube we've ever seen.
"When stored with the lid on, the homemade flashlight can be conveniently camouflaged as an innocent can of potato chips," says the site. Yes, camouflaged right up to the moment that your mum comes round and reaches for the pre-dinner nibbles…
Over at Steady Health there's a fantastic thread which details how to turn a towel and a rubber glove into an uncannily realistic fake vagina. It does sound fantastically complicated though. I know I'm biased, but I would suggest that treating yourself to a male sex toy from Lovehoney is a lot less hassle (and, dare I say it, a lot more fun).
But it's great to see someone pitch in with some great, succinct advice: "Bubble wrap and ice pack quite good"
Forget Boyzone, Vajazzling was the star of the show on Channel 5 yesterday afternoon when Lovehoney's Hannah demonstrated how to turn a plain-Jane nether region into a sparkling diamond mine.
Sex Toys TV presenter Annabelle Knight was the willing victim, er, volunteer as The Vanessa Show drafted in Hannah for a live demonstration of how to vajazzle.
Vanessa was playing host to Ronan Keating and Keith Duffy from Boyzone whose minders kept them a safe distance from the action as Hannah delicately Vajazzled "I Heart Vanessa Show" on her modest model's midriff.
See Vajazzling on Vanessa, just after the last ad break.
Vajazzling is the latest trend in body jewellery, having been brought to prominence by Jennifer Love Hewitt's tales of Vajazzling and being featured in a classic (aren't they all?) episode of The Only Way is Essex.
Lovehoney stocks a wide range of vajazzling body jewellery so you can Vajazzle like a pro. Or, failing that, Hannah.
Much hilarity in last Friday's Peep Show when hapless lothario Mark tried to make up for his lack of prowess in the bedroom by introducing a dildo called "Kenneth" into a tentative romantic liaison with Dobby.
Readily identifiable by dildo connoisseurs at Lovehoney as a Doc Johnson Classic Dong, the veiny beast spent the episode languishing in Mark's pants and socks drawer, deployment in his sex tryst postponed by the death of Dobby's ex's mum.
Mark described the dildo as being 9 inches long, but we're not sure that Doc Johnson does a balls-free non-suction-cup dong in 9 inches. 8 inches, yes, 10 inches, yes. But 9 inches? We don't think so.
Perhaps Mark was referring to the insertable length. He could be a connoisseur after all.
Oh, and guys, if you're thinking about introducing a sex toy into the bedroom for the first time, maybe try something a little smaller to start with.
A sales bloke from Kelkoo just got in touch with Lovehoney to persuade us to advertise our sex toys on his price comparison site. He was offering a bargain rate and was pleased to let us know that Kelkoo now has a special Adult Entertainment section where XXX-rated products like vibrators, dildos and cat food are kept away from tender young eyes.
Wait a minute. Cat food? Yes, cat food.
For some reason, the powers that be at Kelkoo think that your Adult Entertainment can be enhanced by seductive items such as Whiskas Adult Market Produce in Jelly 24x100g from B&Q, a Folding Deaf / Blind / Low Vision Aluminium Cane Stick from eBay or a John Lewis Coin Purse (Red).
I can just about imagine using a folding cane for a little light bedroom S&M, but that story about the girl who plastered her genitals in cat food is just a variation on an urban myth, right?
And as for the coin purse, surely that's not big enough - why not just put a massive tip jar by the bed and have done with it?
OK, so it sounds like we're trying to create our own one-of-a-kind Googlewhack, but I assure you we're not.
This great line is from Lovehoney customer Postillionager's review of the Supersex Strokerwhich details, briefly but amusingly, his attempt to get some satisfaction from our best-selling male masturbator.
Ultimately he decides it's not for him because he can't wash it out (he just needs to turn it inside out, silly!), but that's not going to stop us giving Postillionagerthe Review of the Month award and the £100 Lovehoney shopping spree that goes with it.
Congratulations! Now, where did I put that octopus…
You can read the full review on the Supersex Stroker product page here.
Whether you're looking for a way to add some interest to the World Cup finals or you just want to show your undying love for England, we have the perfect gift for you (and your partner).
The Scoregasm I Love England Remote Control Love Egg has a remote control that works up to 30 feet away so you can buzz your partner every time that England score - or every time the ball goes out for a throw-in if you can take that much excitement.
It's smartly presented in an England themed heart-shaped gift box and comes complete with batteries so you're good to go straight out of the box.
Scoregasm is just one of many exclusive sex toys available at Lovehoney!