What It's Like to Be A Virgin At Uni
on 30 Nov 2016
We all start out as virgins, which is honestly kind of great.
The first times experiencing each potential avenue of sexual pleasure might be clumsy, intimidating and far from how we imagine them going, but they can still be some of the best and most memorable sexual encounters we have.
University life and the culture surrounding it makes for an atmosphere of sex like no other - it's everywhere, and often on many minds.
For some students, though, penetrative sex just isn't what they're after from the uni experience and many make it through the full three years (or more) without once dipping a toe in the pool of student sex.
Whether it's for religious reasons, asexuality, just wanting to wait until you're absolutely certain you've found the right person or anything else - here are our top things you must know for life as a student virgin!
People may totally misinterpret your choice
However it comes up in conversation, and it almost certainly will at least occasionally, virginity can be an odd topic in the reactions it provokes.
Commonly, people will express a degree of admiration or respect for your choice, if it is a choice, but sometimes people might respond with confusion, disdain or pity, which can be less pleasant.
And speaking of pity…
People will try to help you
This can be one of the most annoying factors. To some people, the idea of not wanting sex is like not wanting a delicious meal, or not wanting to read a great book.
This is by no means a bad thing about them: sex is wonderful, and those who enjoy it should be free to do so without fear of judgement for that, but all too often it can be decided that a student who's never had sex just needs, and therefore clearly wants, the opportunity to arise and these 'helpful' friends will endeavour to make it so.
All you can really do here is try to be as clear as possible. Remember: it's your body and your first time, no one gets to tell you what to do with either.
You're NOT missing out on the uni experience
Uni and sex are closely connected in many people's minds, and for good reason. Life as a student, especially a Fresher, is a flurry of first times and for lots of people this includes sex.
This is not at all to say that by abstaining from sex you'll be having a lesser, or less complete, uni experience. You can still have just as much fun flirting, dating and doing everything else - the only difference is how your night ends and that's strictly your business and your decision.
Besides, after the thrill of freshers wears off, many students find themselves more drawn to the comfort of a tolerable night's sleep than to the quick thrill of a one-night stand.
You can still enjoy your body
Many people associate abstaining from sex with saying no to any form of sexual pleasure, but this absolutely does not have to be the case. There might be more limited forms of sexual contact you're ok with, you might be a virgin but still one of the biggest power fiends around when it comes to vibrators, it's all up to you.
All that can be said is that your decisions are yours to make, and your body is yours to do with as you see fit. If someone takes issue with this, that's their problem, not yours.
The ViBlogger is a student at the University of Leeds, where he studies Astrophysics. When he's not writing for The Sextbook, he can usually be found in a Yorkshire field reenacting the 12th century.
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