Even if we don’t like to admit it, lots of people still think of foreplay as the process leading up to the ‘main event’ of penetration – and the male orgasm. Foreplay is considered expendable, a luxury that can be enjoyed on a lazy Sunday afternoon but is often omitted during a weekday quickie.
Not only is this attitude towards foreplay old-fashioned, but it’s also overly heteronormative. There’s nothing wrong with a quickie, but I think it’s time that we acknowledge the importance of foreplay and stop considering it ‘lesser’ than penetrative sex.
As a big believer in the importance of foreplay, here are my 6 reasons why we should all be focusing less on the big O and more on the big F.
With spring on the way, renewing your energy with its longer days and warmer weather, it may have got you thinking about your health, fitness, career and relationship goals.
A fresh chance to review, reflect or just re-organise your priorities for the time being.
One of the things that’s easy to neglect over the events of the year is your sex life, especially when you get caught up in the regular pressures of every day.
But that doesn't need to be the case! So here are a few ways to declutter your sex life.
I often find that people have a similar reaction to looking at themselves in the mirror as they do when discussing sex.
People get awkward, shameful and embarrassed. So, looking in a mirror while you're doing the deed might sound a bit uncomfortable, maybe even narcissistic.
But trust me, watching yourself get down and dirty might just be some of the most erotic and sensual experiences of your life.
Using mirrors during sex is a low-effort, low-budget accessory that anyone can try out.
They can have a huge impact on your sex life and here's why.
In the 21st century, pornography and erotica are never more than a Google search away.
For as long as the internet has existed people have used it to find porn, and the availability and range of content means that online porn and erotica seem to be most people's preferred way of getting in the mood.
But looking at porn isn't the only way to turn yourself on. There are lots of ways to get yourself excited without any need for your favourite adult website.
Tumblr's ban on pornographic content at the end of 2018 got me thinking about some of these alternative ways to turn yourself on.
Here are some of my suggestions for when you're on your own and ready to get a little raunchy...
When it comes to planning your sexy Valentine's evening, getting the setting right can be the difference between mind-blowing and mundane.
Scented candles? Check. Clean sheets? Done. Sexy playlist? Hang on.
Sure, it's easy enough to throw on your most-played tracks or your favourite 'Bangers 2017' , but you just can't trust that Spotify algorithm - no one needs to hear Call Me Maybe mid-coitus.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that song getting you hot under the collar, of course - different strokes for different folks and all.)
But not all sexy soundtracks are created equal, and everyone's definition of the perfect provocative playlist is different. So that's why we've created not one, not two, but five different sexy Valentine's playlists.
From super-slow seduction tracks, to love-making ballads, to throbbing guitar riffs, we've got a playlist for every taste and occasion - and you can give them all a listen here.
Are there any tunes that we missed? Which is your favourite playlist? Let us know in the comments below!
Normally when you’re having mind-blowing sex, you don’t want to miss a thing.
The way your lover looks, the feel of their skin against yours, the naughty words they’re whispering into your ear.
So why would you want to try sensory deprivation?
While the term suggests you’re missing out on something, sensory deprivation during sex is actually more like taking part in a trade.
By momentarily sacrificing one of your senses, you could end up having the raunchiest sex of your life.
When I read the words 'sensory deprivation', I immediately think about those tanks of salt water you can pay to float in at spas and shopping centres (I can't help myself).
But this isn't the kind of sensory deprivation we're talking about.
Lovehoney needed someone with a vagina to try a variety of anal toys, so being the selfless individual that I am, I volunteered. I know, I know, it’s a bit of bummer but don’t worry, it’s all behind me now.
Jokes aside, I loved trying out these four new toys. Ok, they’re not ‘new’ per se, but all were new to me.
I haven’t had much experience with anal play or anal sex. This isn’t because I don’t want to take part in this fantastic form of fornication, quite the contrary.
I’m singing from the same hymn sheet as Community’s Troy Barnes.
I’m just content to move at my own pace, and that’s ok. I’m not ashamed of my beginner’s bum. In a way, being an anal novice gave me the edge in this task.
I approached everything from a fresh perspective, and I’ve now determined which of the following is the best anal toy for people with vaginas.
We’ve all had mindless sex at some point. I’m talking about the drift into mind-wandering that can happen during some of our greatest pleasures, consciously or subconsciously.
From picturing your favourite porn scene or delectable fantasy, to dealing with anxiety ridden evaluations of our bodies or performance, to fearing contraception failure, or your neighbours overhearing through your paper thin walls.
There are hundreds of opportunities for your mind to wander away from what’s happening in front of you, or to you.
I’m pretty much a stranger to mindfulness.
In fact, when trying to learn about what it was, I watched a video on x2 playback to take in the information more quickly. Ironic, huh?
From what I’ve learnt, I think that mindfulness could be the answer to those mid-sex distractions.
The thoughts will still appear, but rather than allowing them to absorb us completely, we can use mindfulness to bring us back into the zone to connect with ourselves, our sexual partner(s) and ultimately, experience more pleasure.
Do you enjoy having sex but find that you’re not often in the mood to initiate?
Do you wish you could get aroused more easily or desire your partner more often?
Put your seatbelts on because we’re going on a quick tour around the sex drive.
Sex drive or libido is basically how much or often someone desires sexual activity. It varies from person to person and there’s no such thing as a “normal” sex drive because everyone is different!
There’s nothing wrong with a lower sex drive as long as you’re happy, but if you decide you’d like to increase your sex drive there are a number of simple methods you can try.
Here’s my list of the best lifestyle changes you can make to put that sex drive into overdrive.