Going back a couple of hundred years design-wise, Dr Joel Kaplan's Female Enhancement Kit isn't strictly speaking a toy but a clitoral aid designed to medical specifications - but as any bondage enthusiast dismayed by furry handcuffs knows, authenticity is everything in role play, and this would fit perfectly with a labcoat, a pair of surgical gloves and a concerned bedside manner.
If you haven't played doctors and nurses since the playground, now's your chance to hone your medical skills.
While we don't (yet) stock anything quite as futuristic as the Virtual Hole, a bold bid in the teledildonics stakes from Japan, we've been mighty impressed with a couple of our new products.
Doc Johnson's Hub is a gorgeously designed space-age sex toy comprising two vibrators - one realistic, one beaded - with a stunning 8 functions and 8 speeds for each, from the readily approachable Vibrate or Pulsate functions to the wilder reaches of Escavibe and Freefall.
As the space race starts (slowly) picking up again, we think every astronaut should have their pick of the current crop of toys to combat zero-G ennui, and the Hub would fit well with NASA's ergonomically designed capsules.
We spoke to Design A Sex Toy winner Trevor Murphy to find out what inspired his design - and how he felt about winning £1,000 and the chance to have his sex toy made!
What inspired the design?
"I had designed two toys for the competition already, based on existing toys already on the market. I really wanted it to be original so I had a look at the toys out there for ladies…
Cue drum roll! The winner of the The Lovehoney Design A Sex Toy Competition is:
Revolverotica designed by Trevor Murphy from Ireland
Congratulations! Trevor wins £1,000 and the chance to have his sex toy made.
Trevor's design impressed the judges because it was absolutely unique - there isn't another sex toy like it.
"I think it's a brilliant idea," said judge and sex author Tracey Cox. "Nearly every women I know of will want one these!"
From Trevor's detailed drawings and description, it was also possible for Dominic Hawes of UK sex toy manufacturer Mantric Marketing to imagine how the product could be made at a cost low enough for the finished item to have a reasonable selling price.
We have to keep the design and precise function of the Revolverotica secret because we are investigating the feasibility of making the product. But we'll keep the Design A Sex Toy Blog updated with product developments.
If Trevor's design goes into production, he could even make a royalty on every unit sold, so we want to protect his idea from copy-cat competitors.
Four other entries were highly commended by the judges:
Passionate Flex - a double-ended vibrator
G-Up - a new-style G-spot vibrator
The Lazy Wank - an innovative male masturbator
Cocktus - a novel clitoral vibrator
God Bless the Daily Mail. Ann Summers boss Jacqueline Gold is invited to meet the Queen and rather than celebrate this wonderful award, the Mail runs a lengthy hatchet job entitled The Queen of Sleaze. Terrible.
With rampant assertions that the Ann Summers empire was built off the back of the Gold brothers' porn empire, the Mail clearly knows what turns its readers on - why else would it repeatedly mention magazine titles like Hardcore Housewives and coverlines like "'barely legal young sweet p***y"? (The Mail's asterisks, not mine.) While being exceptionally cruel to Jacqueline Gold, it's a work of journalistic art - until they get some basic facts wrong.
Yes, even the Mail has fallen into the trap of perpetuating the Rampant Rabbit Myth, claiming that Ann Summers's registered trademark vibrator was featured in the Sex And The City TV show. When, as any fool knows, it wasn't.
"[Gold Group's] last accounts show that the [Ann Summers] sex shops accounted for 97 per cent of its £3 million profit in 2005 and 84 per cent of its £145 million turnover," says the Mail. "All this was achieved by persuading women to gather together to buy the Rampant Rabbit Thruster (as seen on Sex In The City)…"
With more than 250 entries, the Design A Sex Toy judges had a tough job even getting to a shortlist. 30 of the best entries were selected by a process of elimination before the judges decided on the winner.
Some entrants had not provided a design sketch, which made it difficult for the judges to picture how the finished sex toy would look.
Others were rejected because they did not have a detailed description, leaving too much open to imagination and interpretation.
Some entrants provided a very minor alteration on an existing sex toy so were discounted for not being original enough. Some - like the 11 version of vibrating knickers that were entered - didn't provide any variation at all on existing products.
So how did the judges choose between the final 30 entrants…?
Supersize your sexy shopping! Spend just £30.00 or more on goods at Lovehoney, and we'll send you a Cutie Rabbit Tickler Mini Massager (RRP: £12.99) absolutely free with your order! (While stocks last).
An extra treat for your girl on Valentine's Day - or maybe just an extra treat for yourself!
Courtney Cox has caused something of a stir by reaching for a vibrator and having a sheet-clenching orgasm in her new TV series Dirt - seen here on YouTube.
To us it looks like she's enjoying the delights of an orange Pocket Rocket which is a similar version to Love Labs Erotic Rocket.
Makes us wonder what all the housemates used to use after hours in Friends…
Looking for a Christmas treat that's got the maximum orgasmic potential? The Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe is for you.
"It's just about impossible not to have an orgasm with this toy," says sex expert Sue Johanson. "You can use it for clitoral or vaginal stimulation, internal and external. It was so good our tester kept it for months - and that never happens!"