Beauty is, as they say, only skin deep. Or it was until some recent developments in sex toy technology, anyway! Medics are renowned for their ability to ooh and aah over a particularly attractive liver, and thanks to Lovehoney you too can join in as spectator or entrant in this ongoing beauty contest for the inside of people's bodies.
You've let a butterfly tickle your clit. You've let a double bunny's ears massage your anus. But a crab? If the words 'crabs' and 'sex' bring to mind only pictures of unwanted genital infestations, this entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition should encourage you to shrug off your kabourophobian prejudices (that means 'fear of crabs', for those of you who don't want to look it up). Having always been shocked and dismayed by the lack of marine-themed sex toys - just imagine what the eight-armed octopus could do! - we're tickled pink by the idea of the Promiscuous Pincer, 'inspired by the claw of a friendly toy crab'. All together now… aaaah!
Make love not war! While many of the products Lovehoney stocks follow the swords into ploughshares concept - think of the missile-shaped Colt 12-inch Rocket Anal Tool, for instance - few toy ideas are quite as ingenious as this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition. Apparently inspired by unsubstantiated accounts of gay Glasgow gangs adapting some of their favourite weapons in the wake of the first wave of ecstasy use in the late 80s, the knuckle thruster has it all: street smarts, adaptable connectors and vicious chic.
If our collection of novelty butt plugs just doesn't do it for you, or if you've ever dreamed of ravishing maidens with your scaly skin and fiery breath, this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition would have made your fantasies come true. If it had won … But given the danger of being stabbed by a Christian in an England football shirt as you swagger around in your dragon tail, perhaps this is all for the best!
Lovehoney looks kindly on bedroom scientists, and recognises that those of you looking for a challenge may be less interested in our sex doll range than in putting something together yourselves. We've noticed that if you put together enough of our male masturbators you'll pretty much have a complete, entire person, which you can then take apart and reassemble to your heart's content.
They're furry. They're cute. They have long fluffy tails, and gnaw on acorns in an endearingly teeth-chattering fashion. So why shouldn't squirrels be used as the inspiration for sex toys? This also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition shows what happens when sex-crazed imaginations are led to gentle woodland idylls, fed cider and given a pad of paper and a pencil. You'll never look at the toothy little critters the same way again. Now otters, that's different: they really are something …
Are you a craven, whimpering male yearning for punishment from your female ruler? Would nothing give you more pleasure than to feel your fesses blush at the hands of the superior sex? Are you, in short, not worthy? Let's face it, even if you're a take-charge kind of guy, it must be tempting to give up sometimes and let your partner take control - both in the bedroom and out of it. Which makes the following entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition particularly intriguing, even if it fell short of the exacting criteria required to win. Perhaps we need some more 'personal trainers' here ourselves…
Thick-skinned? Short-sighted? Bit of a temper? If you also have grey armour plating and suffer from attacks by poachers after your horn, then the Happy Rhino sex toy isn't for you. If, however, you've always fancied dressing up as one of the world's most endangered animals for sexy fun, the designers of this entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition have taken your dream as their inspiration. We particularly like their suggestion for sophisticated types to wear the costume under a tuxedo; perhaps if you're feeling cheap and sluttish you could try wearing it under a crotchless open bust fishnet bodystocking?
Bored of plastic playmates? Finding it hard to cuddle your Fleshlight? Want more from life than your Cyberskin Ass Stroker can provide? If you've ever fantasised about Miss Piggy or furry, large-breasted dwarfs with no knee joints, the Teddy Babe Sex Doll is the luxury doll for you. She may be small but she's all woman - especially with her pussy velour plush insert!
Ever wondered what a prostate massage really feels like? This great review from Orgasm Army is chockablock with hot tips for what some rate as the ultimate in full-body orgasms:
"I read a lot about this amazing toy before I finally purchased one from a local sex shop. I've been enjoying anal sex for some time, and like to use not necessarily big but small-size dildos etc, so I thought to try it out for anal fun. But what it turned out to be was totally different…"
See the full Aneros MGX Prostate Massager review at Orgasm Army.
Buy the Aneros MGX Prostate Massager at Lovehoney.