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  1. Do you ever gaze at the cacti on trips to the garden centre and ask yourself, 'I wonder what that would feel like in - '? We didn't think so. The Bingo vibrator is one thing, but cactus spines are something else altogether. It looks from this shortlisted design in our Design a Sex Toy competition like the designer took more inspiration from old Road Runner cartoons than peyote. Or maybe the inspiration came from using both together. It's a shame we're not going to make this one - it could have been the Wil E. Coyote of the vibrator world, ready to crush all those cutesy rabbit vibrators into submission.

    As ever, we've kept the grammar and spelling true to the original submission…

    Hitachi Magic Wand with UK Power Converter review

    Is it a blender? Is it a robotic arm? No, it's a Hitachi Magic Wand. This extra-powerful vibe, not satisfied with having taken the US by storm, is seeking to crush resistance to its eye-popping orgasms here in the UK - and we at Lovehoney are keen to help. Note that, as mentioned in the Orgasm Army review that follows, you can't use it internally out of the box, and will need either the straight probe or G-spot probe attachments.

    TongueJoy Vibrating Tongue Ring review Bored of your rabbit? Fed up of your ladyfinger? If you want to try something different, cast your eyes in the direction of your partner's tongue, and wonder want it would be like if he (or she) went downstairs with a vibrating power-pack on the end of their licker. That's what the TongueJoy Vibrating Tongue Ring does for you, and it's been a real hit in reviews…

    "I've had this toy for some time and I have to say I think it's a really great toy both for couples or singles," says Orgasm Army reviewer Imeldaimelda. "I think it's fairly inventive and new, which I think in the sex toy industry is great, because we don't need another bloody rabbit!"

    See the full TongueJoy Vibrating Tongue Ring review at Orgasm Army.

    Buy the TongueJoy Vibrating Tongue Ring.

    Aneros Progasm Prostate Massager

    If you're a man, and you think coming is all about spunking over your girlfriend's tits, we applaud you. No, sorry - what we mean to say is think again. The Aneros range has been quietly building up a powerful fan base with their prostate stimulating toys, which give a whole new spin to the male orgasm. If you're a first-timer, read our prostate massage guide and remember to stock up on plenty of lubricant - and for a first-hand account of what an Aneros toy can do for you, read the following review from Orgasm Army:

    Introducing the Vacuum Cleaner Sex Toy!Introducing the Vacuum Cleaner Sex Toy!
    The Professor does a spot of housework, and demonstrates the Vortex Vibration's unique way of giving bigger better orgasms!!
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    The ideal first vibrator for womenThe ideal first vibrator for women
    Sex author Tracey Cox reveals how to up your orgasm quota with the Supersex Pleasure Wand Vibrator.
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    3 Bangs For Your Butt Mega Dildo
    Oof! When a gerbil just won't cut it, there's nothing quite like the 3 Bangs for your Butt Mega Dildo for deeply satisfying rectal reaming. If you're a fan, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself that no animals were harmed in the making of your orgasm. If you haven't dived in yet, this toy is not for beginners! And anyone who uses it should have a lot of lubricant handy, preferably within reach as with 3 Bangs in your butt you ain't goin' nowhere, as the following reviewer probably found…

    Poor old Peter Sullivan. As reported in the Metro on May 14 in an article entitled Rodeo Romeo fails to impress, this fitness trainer allegedly sent a prospective date an email link to his website, asking her what she thought of photos of him dressed up in cowboy outfits, kickboxing and doing the splits.

    'Girls just wanna have fun', as a garishly painted pop star of yesteryear once sang, and that's all as it should be. But what about boys? With all the fuss about rabbit vibrators in the shops and the media, it's easy for boys to feel left out. Girls had a Sex and the City episode famously featuring a rabbit - we want to see something like the Anal Sensations vibrator, an also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition, appearing in the middle of an episode of Top Gear for equivalent impact, gawking in astonishment as a presenter describes the exquisite double action of the perineum massager and the anal banger. Don't we? Boys?

    Cutie Rabbit Tickler Mini Massager review

    'Thank you Lovehoney' is something we never tire of hearing at LH HQ, and we still get a warm glow whenever we've succeeded in bringing a little more love into people's lives. We've always got some kind of promotion on to tempt you to buy more toys, and while at present we're offering the Mini Dolphin Vibrator free to anyone who spends more than £30 with us, we used to give away the Cutie Rabbit Tickler Mini Massager. And did they find a happy home? According to this Orgasm Army reviewer, she's never looked back…

    Doc Johnson John Holmes Realistic 12-inch Dildo Can you take the Doc Johnson John Holmes Realistic Dildo challenge? At Lovehoney we stock a variety of dildos that are perhaps best left for the brave and the bold - when we say large dildos we mean LARGE. But to some of you such a description is less a warning than a call to arms - why use the John Holmes Realistic 12-inch dildo? we might ask. Because it's there, you might answer. But pride comes before a fall, and sometimes it's easy to bite off a bit more than you can chew, as in the following review from Orgasm Army

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