A few weeks ago, I gave some tips for men who needed some help satisfying their more eager partners. Of course, it would have made sense for me to come the next week and address women who have the same "problem" of a highly charged partner, but to be honest, I got distracted. Give a couple of sales on Lovehoney, a couple of new toys coming out, and I completely forget that men need satisfaction too.
Ladies, don't make the same mistake. If you are lucky enough to have a man who always has sex on the brain--and I know, you're told over and over how it is a burden, but come on…doesn't it make you feel like the world's sexiest woman how he can't keep his hands off you? Remember that feeling when you're reading this list--you may be looking for ways to keep him satisfied that don't involve you lying back and thinking of England. Because really, that's not fun for anyone.
I've never been much of a dildo girl, really. I like a few bells and whistles (and by "bells and whistles", I think we all know I mean "that puppy better vibrate like his life is on the line"), but I can't ignore six seriously fantastic reviews over at the Orgasm Army. You get six individual people who love a toy so much they want to write about it AND that toy manages to average a full five stars? Well, that gets my attention.
HELP ME! I've bet my girlfriend Joy that we'll sell a dozen of these Chix Stix mini vibrators by the end of October. If I lose, I have to cook her a slap-up veggie roast dinner. Ewww. If I win, she has to cook me a full-on roast with a meat of my choosing. Help me and bring on the giblets!
As I mentioned last Friday, I'm going to spend a couple of Fridays talking about how to introduce sex toys into your sex life with your partner.
Sex toys have a bit of a reputation as being solo-only gadgets. Things that people use when they need to masturbate - often they are thought of as being what you use when you don't have anything better to hand… be that because you're alone or because your partner isn't pushing your buttons. There is some truth to that, of course. Heaven knows my toys get put through their paces when I'm on my own. But it also does you and your toys a disservice - toys can be used to bring greater satisfaction to partners, as well.
So you've been thinking about it… what's the first thing to keep in mind when pondering how to bring up toys with your partner for the first time?
A week ago, the German--aka "The Guy"--was able to come and stay with me for a long week's holiday after he had been out of the country for two months. I'm sure you can imagine that I…was looking forward to the trip. I was looking forward to it even more when a couple of days before he arrived, I received in the post a surprise present…The Good Vibrations Honeymoon Gift Kit.
And now for something completely different! Prepare for your jaw to slacken and for your gast to be flabbered as you gape in awe at the Japanese Motorised Control Cock, one of the finest sex toys ever invented.
Its dual-control orgasmic grinding vibrations will make you scream with delight – and with the vibrations pushing right to the tip of the cock you can be sure that no sweet spot will remain untouched.
The soft-but-firm cyberskin finish is phenomenally realistic and, as it says on the box, 'Great penis!' 'Erotic need punch cannon!' 'I make you happy every day!'
What more can you ask for?
See the Japanese Motorised Control Cock in action!
What better way to discover what this fantastic sex toy can do than see it in action? As our Sex Toys TV demonstration shows, the Motorised Cock is the Real Deal. Spend 10 minutes with this beauty and the neighbours will be banging on the walls!
More: Vibrator videos
Yesterday I was talking about toys for men who want something out of the ordinary (or just avoid the horrifically non-ordinary, like this little number) and I mentioned the Aneros. I pointed out the Aneros Eupho as being a good example of the line, but really, they're all pretty amazing toys.
I stand by my article, but I also figured--hey, why would a guy take my word for it? So I thought I would show you a bit of what the men are saying about the Aneros line (see review for all the models here):
I was talking to a guy friend of mine the other day and showing off my new collection of toys (this is a pretty common occurrence - if you come over to mine for dinner, expect me to show off the rotating speed of various toys or ask you to touch squishy silicon), when he mentioned that he was really quite envious of my collection. Now really, anyone with any sense would be envious of my toy box - I've got a very serious collection going on. But his point was not just that my collection rocks (seriously--it does), but that it is so much easier for me to amass such a plethora of toys.
As he pointed out, women enjoy vibrators, dildos, bullets, lubes, vibrating panties, dual-tipped vibes…on and on and on. Really, there is no end to the range of toys available for women. But what is out there for men, he pondered, especially for men who did not like the look of anatomically-representative toys like Fleshlight or dolls or other bits and bobs that are made to look like body parts? For the man who is a little squigged out by fake pussies, fake anuses, and even fake mouths, he felt there wasn't much.
But do not lose hope, Men Who Hate Pseudo-Body Part Toys! There are toys out there that are much more discreet, more subtle, less cringeworthy! I present to you, the Top 5 Toys for Men Who Like Cool Toys:
Super-cute Hello Kitty has had her feline face plastered on to as many products as Minnie Mouse, the pointy-eared little minx.
But one item that you certainly won't find Mickey's Mrs on is a vibrator. There's been some confusion as to whether this thing is a Hello Kitty sex toy - doesn't look like any diddler we've ever seen.
But we're happy to put the record straight with this picture of the Hello Kitty Vibrator. And an explanation that it's really just a Pocket Rocket style vibrator with a pretty Kitty top. Bless.
I have a confession to make. I like to think I'm not alone, but no one really talks about it.
Maybe I'm the only one.
I will tell you, but you mustn't make fun of me.