• Elbow Grease Hot Cream Anal Lubricant

    Way back in the good old days (well…June, anyway), I wrote a review for Elbow Grease Hot Cream Anal Lubricant. I was terribly excited about this product and gave it a glowing five stars because I thought it was just about the greatest anal lube to ever hit the market. It was creamy, it lasted for ages, it was fun to use…it even had a pleasant taste! I couldn't wait to tell the world about this fabulous product.

    And then Lovehoney stopped selling it.

    Listen, I'm not saying they got it wrong. I'm sure there are all sorts of factors that go into determining what products they stock and sell and which ones they have to discontinue and DENY THE PUBLIC OF THE FINEST ANAL LUBRICATION PRODUCT SINCE THE DAWN OF TIM---

    Ask Birdie…

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time…)

    Ms. McBirdie,

    There is a little lady that I am interested in getting to know a little better. She has a b-day coming up and I am at a loss on what I should get her. Well, that is not true.

    She and I have had several conversations about the lack of affection she is receiving from her current and how she does not take the time for personal reflection. These conversations have lead me to think about getting her a massager.

    Would this be appropriate? And if so, which product would would you recommend?

    Thank you,

    Loving Touch

    Icicles Textured Teaser Glass Dildo

    In last week's "Ask Birdie…" column, the woman who wrote in mentioned that she would never use a vibrator herself because she is too sensitive. Now, I might normally be inclined to argue that if you think that than you just haven't found the right style of vibrator yet, but I think it is also kind of fun to point out all the toys you can try that don't involve batteries. Maybe at some point in the future I'll direct your attention to more unusual vibrators…

    But, until then, I present to you - 5 Toys For Women Who Hate Buying Batteries

    Screaming O OHoney Vibrating Clitoral Sex Enhancer

    This new toy has made me do something I've never had to do before. I had to write in to Lovehoney and request a Sex Toy TV video to be made--because I'll be darned if I can figure this toy out. Is it rigid? How exactly does it "anchor to the labia"? All I know from looking at this toy is two things:

    1. I have only the vaguest idea of how it works. I think it must work rather like a vibrating cock ring without the cock directly being involved.

    2. I have to have one.

    People, please. Go and buy one of these. Write a review. Explain to us how it works and why. In fact, forget about the rest of the world. Buy one, try it, and then write to ME, so I know how the thing works. Because I'll be darned if this isn't tickling my "this is an innovative new toy" sensors. And if there is one thing I love, it's an innovative new toy. Especially if that is an innovative new couple's toy.

    I would just get myself one RIGHT. THIS. VERY. MINUTE. but I just got in a big shipment from Lovehoney - please don't make me get in another order in the same week. My postman is starting to look at me funny.

    In a lot of ways, I think costumes come across as even more "out-there" or kinky than types of play that are normally considered more 'technically' kinky. As I started planning this series on Costumes, I took to asking people about what they do with costumes and role play in their own lives. Nearly everyone giggled and said they weren't really 'into that sort of thing'. But these are the same people who ask where they can get their hands on a good flogger or how best to restrain someone.

    And yet, if you reword the question so that you're not asking about Costumes, but instead ask about "acting out fantasies" or "playing pretend", everyone perks right up and gets interested. I mean, who doesn't have at least one fantasy that they would like to play around with? And before you even put your hand up, you might want to think about the little thrill you get when you remember a certain teacher, or that quick thought you had when you pondered your chances of getting a flight attendant to join you in the bathroom, or the little fluttery feeling you get when you see a fireman throw a woman over his shoulder on tv. Just as fantasies are completely normal, so too is the desire to act them out.

    There are many types of costumes, but they can loosely be dropped into two broad categories: Full Costumes and Accessory Costumes.

    Ask Birdie…

    Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time…)

    Dear Birdie,

    My man and I have a great sex life thus far to the point where we are both very easily aroused by each other and the frequency is good too. But I know that if I branched out, even though it's good already, he would probably follow my lead. So for future reference (and you should know that I will probably never be able to afford anything too expensive) what is something I could use on HIM?

    I am WAY too sensitive myself to even think about using a vibrator for me but he is a fairly typical male in that he can be aroused by stimulation of the perineal area so I would like to be able to…um…surprise him there, maybe during oral sex, but don't know how as in what the heck to use. I don't want the man to end up clinging to the ceiling in fear or shock but neither do I want to be so subtle that he doesn't know I've done anything different.

    So do you have any ideas for anything I could use on him that will (excuse the bad pun) blow his mind?

    Thanks in advance, McB.

    Love ya,

    Needs "Sexy Surprises 101" Class

    Hit your G-spot with one of these fantastic bendable vibrators

    Give your G-spot an orgasmic treat with one of these new bendable vibrators. Designed to hit the pleasure points that other sex toys cannot reach, these bendy vibes can be twisted and turned to hit those seemingly unreachable sweet spots.

    Whether you prefer a realistic-style vibrating dong or a clit-tickling rabbit, there's something here for all tastes. And prices start at just £16.99.

    Why not add one of these fabulous new realistic vibrators to your sex toy collection?

    While I was working on the last series on introducing sex toys to your partner, costumes kept coming up into the discussion around these parts. The two are quite related, really - one may rely more on fantasy than on batteries, but both require an open mind, a sexy attitude, and an interest in pleasing your partner (and yourself, of course - we're none of us Mother Theresa here).

    So what do you know about costumes? Do you know the different kinds that are out there? How about how to use them without laughing out loud and spoiling all the fun? Can you imagine the right scenarios to go with the costumes?

    And from all of these questions come the next series. Over the next three Fridays (they'll be posted early in the morning, regardless of when you finally get to them, sleepy-head), I'll be talking about the various ins and outs (literally and figuratively, naturally) of costumes and how to best incorporate them into your bedroom (or out room) play. I'll try to touch on the major topics, but as always, if there is anything you are wondering that I don't bring up, do feel free to give a shout. We're all of us friendly here…

    Liberator Wedge

    The other day I got an email from Ruth, giving me a link to a little story about George Clooney being pictured carrying what appears to be a Liberator Wedge. Now Ruth is a dear lass, but bless her, clearly behind the times. I mean, who finds George Clooney attractive anymore? Surely his sexual escapades (or doctor-ordered therapy, I'm not here to speculate) are of no interest to the common woman? I laughingly showed this email to the girls in the office.

    Twenty minutes and half a pint of blood later, I found that I had, in fact, been mistaken about the attractiveness and viability of one Mr. George Clooney…

    Adam and Eve Cyber 5x Hot Handle

    So yesterday, while talking about men with high sex drives, I made an aside comment about not having a prostate. A nothing comment, really, because gosh darnit, women don't have prostates, case closed.

    Except it sort of sparked a memory of something I had read once. What can I say? I'm an internet bowerbird. I also hate making statements that I'm not completely sure are accurate, so I double-checked. And found that I was right about being wrong. According to this, what was once known as a woman's paraurethral or Skene's glands is now officially our prostate.

    In real terms, that doesn't mean much to your day to day life. Except that it helps to explain the phenomenon of female ejaculation. Apparently, that is just the same thing the boys have been doing for eons. Now scientists will speculate for ages on why only some women ejaculate and blah blah blah does this have to do with survival traits and yadda yadda yadda and all I hear is…

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