The greatest kisses are the ones that make the entire world around you stop spinning; when all you can think about is how amazing this one moment feels and how you never, ever want this kiss to end. Kisses have several purposes: you kiss your friends, relatives and acquaintances to say hello and goodbye, and to be affectionate, but you also kiss your lover more often than not as a pre-cursor to sex.
You may think that kissing your lover on the lips is the most direct way to turn them on, but your lips are made to kiss other parts as well. Kissing your lover's earlobes, fingertips, toes, tummy and neck (especially the nape), the inside of their thighs (while building up to giving them head) and their buttocks will turn them on just as much. To make things a lot tastier, spread some ID Juicy lube in Bubblegum flavour and slather it on the parts of your lover's body you want to kiss. Flavoured lube on the inside of your lover's thighs, for instance, will make you even more enthusiastic about giving them great head.
Having said all that, a really wet, really passionate kiss planted on your lover's mouth will knock them for six. It's easy to take kissing for granted and see it as something you have to do to get to what you hope is coming next, ie, sex. But kisses can be ultra erotic if you put the effort in. It's not just about what you're doing with your lips and your tongue; it's about using your hands too.
Probably the world's most famous vibe, the Vibratex Original Jack Rabbit Pearl Vibrator is the naughty little bunny who turned Park Avenue princess Charlotte York into a depraved vibe junkie.
Like most girls getting nuzzled by Jack for the first time, Charlotte couldn't bear to leave her room and miss out on the continuous stream of orgasms thanks to the Jack Rabbit's powerful vibrations. I, very much like Charlotte, nearly lost myself in a world where entire weekends were spent sleeping, masturbating with my Jack Rabbit, sleeping, masturbating and occasionally eating before masturbating again and falling asleep.
You all know how spectacularly I fucked up my threesome with Sasha and her husband, which admittedly melted down into her and I eating each other out while her drunken beau struggled to get a grip on the situation. But, last night, I had another go at the fabled threesome and it was fantastic!
I was the 'third' person, and the other two were a couple I met through my work colleague Jason a few weeks ago. It's not like I asked Jason to call everyone he knew to see if anyone would be up for a threesome… A group of us went out after work and we got to talking about sex – you know, what we've done in the past, what we'd love to do – and I mentioned that it would be cool to try another threesome.
Anyway, Jason's friend Mark was with us that night and, after buying me a few delicious shots of Grey Goose vodka, he confessed that he'd been turned on by my openness about having a threesome and that he and his girlfriend have taken part in quite a few threesomes in the past. To cut a long story short, Jason and his girl came over to mine last night and it was, without question, the horniest night of sex I have ever had.
Forget singles nights, renting dodgy porn flicks and using your electric toothbrush in place of a vibrator; 2007 is all about sex and technology. From meeting new lovers on MySpace and filming your own porn movie through to playing with 'couple-friendly' sex toys and trying a spot of pole dancing in your own home, this year will see you getting it on at the push of a button…
Paying your lover half-assed compliments, getting them hammered on cheap wine and buying them gifts from the petrol station may seem like a dead-cert to shagville, but you couldn't be more wrong. If you're desperate to get your lover into bed but they're feeling more washed-out than fired-up, try these quick and painless tips for making them feel hornier than Jenna Jameson wielding a G-spot massager.
Did anyone watch Ugly Betty last night? I think I'm going through a lazy phase at the moment where all I want to do is come home from work, crash on the sofa, eat ice-cream and watch Sky TV. After hearing loads of hype about Ugly Betty I decided to give the program a whirl. Well, I'm completely smitten now. It has to be the only glossy series on Sky that you can actually veg out infront of and not feel inadequate! After all, Betty's eyebrows are a real shock to the system when you first see them…
Can't wait til next week's episode!
It seems like all Channel 4 are doing these days is pumping out re-runs of old sexumentaries on lap dancing, strip clubs and swingers. Tuesday night was a perfect example. I sat down to watch a program about the lap-dancing war of the 90s, pretty confident that it couldn't be a re-run of the lap dancing sexumentary they ran earlier in the year, but sure enough it was.
All I want to watch is a mini-series of sexumentaries about the new lap and pole-dancing craze that's got British women working up a hot sweat. Loads of my friends are taking up lap and pole dancing classes – I've been going myself for the past two years – but there has yet to be any kind of program (as far as I know) that follows beginners starting out in pole dancing classes and showing different moves, etc. Sure, you can buy specific DVDs on lap dancing, pole dancing and striptease, but why isn't there a sexumentary on what is fast becoming one of the most fun (and sexy) ways to loose weight while spicing up your sex life and boosting your personal confidence?
OK, here's one for all you girlies: the importance of using Dental Dams! I know it's not the sexiest thing you've read in a while, and I myself have been guilty of going down on a girl without using any kind of protection, but oral thrush isn't the lasting memory you want after eating out a hot woman. Unfortunately, that's the risk you take if you have a one-night stand and don't use a Dam. As my friends found out on New Year's Eve.
Remember that swingers party I told you we were going to? Turns out that two of my old school friends always had a thing for each other, so they got it on in a big way at the swingers party. Trouble is, one of the girls had something else the other didn't know about: thrush. Both of them are feeling slightly embarrassed right now, not to mention itchy, but I'm please to say they will be meeting up again. And yes, I did give them a decent supply of Dental Dams to get on with. So now it's your turn…
I'm assuming that you know what STI's are and how you can catch them, but remarkably some girls still don't know that you can catch an STI through lapping up the vaginal secretions of another women. The chances of catching something through oral sex may be slim compared to actual sex or anal sex, but if you have a cut or sore in your mouth you are leaving yourself open to unnecessary risk.
Do you remember when I told you that Sasha was an active lesbian in Uni? Well, she caught a really bad case of oral thrush after dating this girl for a couple of weeks. The smell when Sasha spoke was quite foul, so I can only imagine what it was like actually having her mouth infected by the stuff.
Just a quick one to wish you all a very happy (and filthy) New Year! I'm off to a swingers party tonight – managed to rope some old school mates into coming along too, so it's gonna be an interesting to see how they handle it.
Now where did I put my masquerade mask…
Ever since I was about 16-years-old, my dreams have generally had some kind of sex theme running through them. But lately, over the past few weeks or so, my dreams seem to revolve around one thing: oral sex. It doesn't matter what kind of dream I'm having – be it a nightmare, a flashback to something that has happened in my life, or a dream in which I've committed a crime or have been late for something (bizarrely, school crops up a lot) – the dream seems to stop half-way through and then it's all about me getting eaten out by whoever is in my dream.
It's totally bizarre, but it's been happening more and more lately. One morning last week I dreamt that I was shoplifting in Liberty's (London) and I remember feeling so scared because the security guard was absolutely huge and was chasing me through the store. I got as far as the fire exit before he dragged me back in and threw me in his office, but it wasn't to call the police. He thrust me down on his desk and started to eat me out vigorously, ripping off my pants with his teeth and using his baton to fuck me. I got so turned on that I woke up and my pussy was streaming with juices.