Hey sex kittens
Don't miss tomorrow's blog, as it will be the first part in a new Masterclass series about how to talk dirty to your lover.
We're going to start off simply with a few sexy phrases and suggestions of scenarios in which to use them; working all the way up over the next few weeks to turn you into a dirty sex talk goddess.
See you in class tomorrow… and don't be late or I'll spank your bottom!
Not content with grabbing the bosoms of embarrassed women and criticising their fashion tastes to the point of abuse, on their old BBC Show What Not To Wear, self-professed fashion stylists Trinny and Susannah are now hell-bent on trying their hand at 'healing marriages' in a new sex show.
Trinny And Susannah Undress starts next Tuesday (3 Oct) on ITV1, and is said to revolve around married couples whose sex lives have taken a nosedive.
And how exactly do Trinny and Susannah think they can put the "Oooh" back into a stale, 'sex is the last thing on my mind' marriage? By hiring a hotel room and locking the poor marital sods in there, with all manner of kinky treats including leopard-print handcuffs, edible panties and body paint.
Susannah even takes one of the women featured on the show shopping for sex toys. Let's hope she starts them off on a Mini Rabbit vibe and not a Strap-on…
According to the press release, Trinny And Susannah Undress also contains a segment called Naked Truth, during which the couple they're trying to help gets the chance to strip off behind a screen and talk about each other's bodies. Hmmm, here's hoping for some dirty talk!
I'll definitely be checking this out next Tuesday, if not to see if they actually achieve anything with this program but to see what Trinny and Susannah deem 'sexy' when it comes to male underpants.
If you have a spare few minutes whilst at home or in work this afternoon, hop on over to the BBC website and check out their bizarre but true story of Beijing's Penis Emporium.
Dog penises and testes, donkey cock, snake penises (snakes apparently have two each penises, according to a source quoted in the piece); sheep, horse, ox, seal and tiger. Apparently, all tastes and bank balances are catered for at Beijing's Penis Emporium.
I know the old saying goes something like, 'Don't knock it until you try it.' But seal penis? I don't think so…
You gotta hand it to Jonathan Ross. Not only does he have an incredibly sexy wife, a glossy mane of hair and a brilliant TV show, but he's also got a penchant for bringing out the sex toys… on national TV!
Did any of you guys watch last Friday's show? It seems as though sex toy manufacturers are finally catching on to the thought that horny teenage girls, and those who can't afford a Rampant Rabbit just yet, turn to their electric toothbrushes for an altogether more satisfying form of oral sex.
Yep, now you can buy a wondrous little device called the Brush Bunny, which is a mini vibe head that you attach to the end of your electric tooth cleaner. All you need to do is attach your Brush Bunny to the end of your toothbrush, flick the switch and, er, buzz away!
The Brush Bunny isn't on sale just yet, but in the meantime, hop on over to Lovehoney.co.uk and check out their handy Celebrator Toothbrush sex toy. Just make sure you opt for lube and not toothpaste when using it…
You may think this blog has nothing to do with sex, but you're wrong. Looking amazing and feeling confident about yourself is the biggest turn-on ever. So read on!
At last: a reason to brave the cinema-going hordes! I love, love, love the amazing Meryl Streep she cracked me up playing opposite Goldie Horn and Bruce Willis in Death Becomes Her – and now she's back with another must-see flick, The Devil Wears Prada.
Streep plays Miranda Priestly, the terrifying Editor of fashion bible Runway, and has the power to destroy the career and reputation of a fashion designer with just one stroke of her poisonous pen. When she recruits fashion graduate Andy (played by the beautiful Anne Hathaway) to assist her on the magazine, Priestly delights in setting the frumpy grad impossible tasks. One of which being to get her hands on the unpublished manuscript of a new Harry Potter book.
First off, this isn't something I have actually done myself. Having said that, I'll be giving it a shot pretty damn soon!
No, making a sexy tape and playing it for a lover was something a friend of mine did for her second wedding anniversary recently. Hot stuff, huh? I personally think that beats any Swiss Army Knife or personalized silver tankard present, or whatever the hell you're supposed to buy your hubbie/wife according to those ancient wedding anniversary rules.
Apparently, my friend had been watching a porn film with her husband a few weeks before their pending anniversary and one of the scenes inspired her to make a little home recording of her own. It wasn't to shoot her own mini porno, but to record her voice on tape for her husband to play back before their steamy night of, er, re-consecrating their wedding vows…
The main thing you need to remember when making an erotic tape recording is to keep it sexy and let yourself flow. Curt, stifled sexual commands or confessions will sound rigid and anything but erotic, so have a glass of wine and relax before you commit your sexy thoughts to tape. And don't forget that, like most home recordings – be it cassette tape, CD or video – they will be lying around for a long time, so be sure you can trust your partner not to whip it out at his next lads' night in.
Forget politics, religion, sex or money. There's nothing like the topic of pubic hair to get a group discussion going. I was sitting in the pub at lunchtime with a few close work colleagues, and one of them brought up the subject of pubic hair. It's not something you usually chat about to a colleague over a packet of Quavers and a G n' T, but I had to admire her courage.
Her problem is that, as with most boyfriends, her man wants her to shave off her pubic hair so that she is completely bald. Looking more than a bit petrified and not receiving much encouragement from the rest of our lunchtime group, I decided to 'fess up about my state of pubic play. I am completely shaven. You won't find one teeny-tiny little pube down there, my friends. I have a general dislike for pubic hair, and while it may be a natural occurrence, I have been known to lambaste many a lover for sporting some new kind of tropical plant. It's pure laziness to let things grow over down there. Sort it out!
Hello sex kittens, I have something very interesting to tell you about: I'm going to launch my own talk show called Bad Kitty's Dirty Talk Show. ;-)
Before I get carried away, I must say that it's not going to be a talk show in the traditional sense. It won't be broadcast on TV or Sky (not just yet, anyway ;-), nor will you hear it on the radio. But you will be able to access it right here on the blog.
You won't actually see me interviewing people, because that would blow my secret guise, but you will be able to read each and every interview I run with loads of different sexperts. I'll be interviewing the coolest, most fanciable, most talented and most orgasm-inducing people connected with the sex industry. I'm talking about porn stars, erotic writers, sex toy makers and loads more!
Gorgeous ladies! If you're feeling a bit like Samantha Jones in that memorable episode of Sex And The City when she thought she had lost her orgasm, I can recommend a little something to get you back on track.
I too have felt a little lack-luster from time to time; hectic work schedules have often left me too tired and too stressed out to bring myself to that marvelous place called Orgasm Central. It happens to all of us at least once, but that does not mean we have to put up with it. Losing your sex drive and dreading the thought of unfulfilling hanky panky with your partner is enough to make any woman feign a headache and catch an early night's sleep.
If you naughty draw is brimming over with tons of different vibes, dildos and jelly dongs, yet you're still lusting for something a bit different, why not design your own sex toy?
Maybe you want to combine the vibrating ferocity of a Jack Rabbit vibe with the flexibility and 'couple friendly' style of a jelly double dong, or perhaps you fancy coming up with some kind of pocket sea monster to titillate and masturbate you in the bathtub?
Whatever your sex toy cravings, put pen, crayon or pubic hair shavings to paper and design a toy that you reckon would make thousands of people flip their orgasmic lids. Aside from the generous £1,000 prize money if you win, you could also have your sex toy design made a reality!
In association with international sexpert Tracey Cox and those sauce pots at Lovehoney and Orgasm Army, the most righteous erotic warriors ever, all you need to do is go to www.designasextoy.com and follow the online instructions.