I've dressed up so many times as Princess Leia Organa in that infamous scene from Return Of The Jedi that I'm surprised my hair hasn't permanently kinked from those giant 'Danish pastries' she has on either side of her head. I can't even look at a gold bikini in the shops without having to stop myself from shouting, "Save me Luke!" I sometimes think I've got a mild touch of Star Wars-induced tourettes because of that damn bikini…
When I started dating Jimi I felt such a huge sigh of relief to hear that he didn't rate Return Of The Jedi. He was, "more of a Empire Strikes Back, man." Jimi was a cocktail waiter I'd met on a night out in Leeds. I was with a group of bondage enthusiasts whom I'd contacted through a fetish community on the web. My plan was to go out with them and get naughtily drunk and flirty, hoping that toward the end of the night there would be some kind of kinky initiation ceremony where they would tie me down, then fuck me, lick me and spank me all night long.
Orgasm Army is a new (as far as I can tell) Web site devoted to reviews of all things sexual. There are lots of reviews of sex toys and bondage gear on there, and also some message boards with deliciously explict questions and, dare I say it, problems. One for the erotic bookmarks folder…
Picture the scene: after a night of mind-blowing sex with your man, you wake up hornier than Jenna Jameson wielding a G-spot wand and ready for another rampant session. There's only one problem. You've slept late and have to be in work in 5 minutes! So what's a girl to do? Forsake a cleansing hot shower to have fast, dirty sex? Or dive out of bed, desperate in the hope you won't be thinking about oral sex and reverse cowgirl positions all day?
For those of us who need our morning orgasm without running the risk of getting fired, there's a simple but sizzling solution: the Mini Rabbit! All the fashionistas among you will adore this little cutie, made from a funky, vibrant blue jelly.
There's nothing hornier than a session of hanky spanky to punish an unruly lover! If you're fed up of your man paying more attention to the TV than you, or you're sick of watching your girlfriend get a bit too friendly with your rugby-playing mates, it's time to crack out the spanking paddle…
If any of my lovers are naughty, I usually find that a good spanking of their bottom with my paddle will have them begging for forgiveness.
Take Sasha, for example. She was a university fling I occasionally 'ate out' with during my first year in student halls. Every time we went for a meal, Sash would get incredibly naughty by the time we got to the desert course. I don't know whether it was an overwhelming craving for sweet food that tipped her over the edge, or maybe she was just one of those girls who got off on public displays of sexual intent, but Sash would get visibly horny when it came to choosing something sweet.
It didn't matter where we were, what we had eaten or who we were with, Sash would always start squirming in her chair, trying to fondle me under the table with her shoeless feet and generally declaring to the entire restaurant exactly where she wanted to drizzle her white chocolate Belgian dip.
Of course, such displays of deviant behaviour had to be punished!
Ever since I was a young girl, I could never get enough of leafing greedily through erotic stories and purring over real-life sexcapdes. For me, there was nothing better than lying in bed, naked, and reading about a man engorging a woman's clit with his expert mouth, or a woman being fucked relentlessly to the point where one smouldering orgasm blurred into another.
I used to lie in bed, fantasizing about those erotic encounters and wondering how fantastic they would feel, while using my in-experienced hands to finger and touch my own clit and juicy lips.
There's tons of excruciatingly horny short stories, dirty books and naughty tales I want to tell you about, so I'll start with one that makes me want to fuck hard every time I read it.
Sometimes I get so horny while reading this passage that I can't get to the end; overwhelmed with the need to rub myself and thrust my trusty Jack Rabbit vibe deep inside my velvety enclave.
What I love most about this passage from The Chef's Revenge (by Tabitha Flyte) is how the character, Tasha, loves to fuck like men: hard, selfish and with a desire to just 'shove it.'
If you want to read this story in its entirety, you can find it among a tasty selection of erotic short stories compiled for More Wicked Words - An Erotic Story Collection (Black Lace).
In the mean time, devour this passage and, whether you're alone or in the company of a lover, I defy you not to fuck in the nearest closet or stock room!
Feeling stressed out, tired or a little tipsy can affect the strength of your erection, so it's important to keep this in mind when things don't rise as planned. Age, health and emotional state can all also play a part too – a calm, healthy penis is a happy penis, after all!
In the fourth video in this series, Tracey introduces her Adjustable Stamina Ring and Triple Stamina Ring Set, and explains how these discreet penis rings work to make your erection harder and more impressive looking.
Each video in the series works in conjunction with Tracey's new EDGE range – a product range for men designed to help improve performance in bed.
Check out Tracey's EDGE collection to discover how her new range for men can boost pleasure and performance during solo and shared use. Scroll down to watch the video.