I love nothing more than coming home from a busy day at work and being pampered and treated to a bubble bath, some scented candles, gorgeous champagne and a long, sensual massage.
Not only does a massage help to relieve my stress levels, but it also provides my lover with a great opportunity to explore and stimulate my erogenous zones, making me feeling much more turned on and receptive to sex.
When it comes to choosing a massage oil I usually go for one that contains Ylang Ylang, which is known for its aphrodisiac properties, but any luxurious and slightly scented oil will work just as well. It's worth noting, however, that if your lover has sensitive skin, non-perfumed massage oil would be a better choice.
Follow the step-by-step guide below, and give your lover a sensual treat that will relax and unwind him in the bedroom:
Text sex is one of the easiest and least embarrassing ways to enhance your dirty words vocabulary for two reasons:
Firstly, you won't feel as embarrassed talking dirty on a text message as you would face to face with your lover.
Secondly, it gives you more time to think of a kinky response.
The best way to start is by sending your lover a quick message on your way to work. You should keep it filth-free to begin with, but full of sexy promise of what is to come. For example, if you spent the night together you could say something like, 'Last night was amazing, but nothing compared to what will happen tonight…'
Nothing makes me feel more relaxed than having fun with an erotic game during sex. One of my favourite games to play as a form of foreplay is erotic eating. I guess my inspiration for trying it was the kitchen sex scene in 9 1/2 Weeks, with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke.
If you fancy transferring your culinary skills to the bedroom, take your lead from Anne Hooper's 'Sexual Banquet.' In her best-selling book Great Sex Games, Anne talks you through how to incorporate food into your foreplay with this simple but delicious game.
The excerpt below is taken from Anne Hooper's Great Sex Games(published by Dorling Kindersley).
'The sexual banquet is unique in that there are no tables, chairs, knives or forks. Your partner's naked body is the plate upon which the food is served, and you are the sole dinner. Other essential ingredients are a can of whipped cream, a pot of honey or syrup, and a selection of soft, juicy fruits.
Sex banquet tips
Ask your partner to 'hide' a dab of honey on their body. Your job is to find it with your tongue.
Use a new paintbrush to paint the body with runny foods such as cream, ice cream, syrup, yoghurt or custard.
Let your sexual banquet degenerate into mayhem and have a food fight. Smother each other in whipped cream, crush fruit into [your lover's] hair and pour custard all over them.
Eat a whole meal from your partner's body. Arrange the starter on the chest, the main course on the belly and the desert on the abdomen and genitals.
Stimulate the body with food
Use food to stimulate your partner's body. Aim for subtle stimulation at first – slowly drip honey from a spoon into the navel, squeeze fresh orange juice onto the skin, run an ice cube over the nipples, lick chocolate sauce from the neck or, using whipped cream, make a pattern on the body and then lick it off.
As your partner begins to get aroused, start to stimulate the genitals in an indirect way. For example, dribble champagne between her legs or place a bagel around his penis and nibble it, being sure to brush his penis 'accidentally' with your tongue.'
When talking about blowjobs, Sex And The City's Samantha Jones once said: "Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing."
Quite right, too. Blowjobs provoke different reactions in different women. For some it's a sure-fire way to blow their man's mind. For others it's a series of gag-reflexes, feelings of suffocation and nausea at the thought of swallowing sperm (especially if it's quite sour tasting – this can happen with guys who regularly smoke and drink). For me, it depends on who I'm with and what mood I'm in.
Some friends of mine even go so far as deciding whether to give head based on the size of the guy's penis. Their reasoning for this? "Women have small mouths and if the guy's penis is too big, we'll just end up gagging." I can understand the point they're making, but it doesn't have to be that way. The secret to giving your man great head is finding a balance between making him feel totally engulfed without making you feel suffocated.
This week, you will be playing a naughty game with your partner to enhance your dirty words vocabulary. Quite simply, the game will involve exploring each other's erogenous zones and combining your erotic exploration with sexual commands.
Before starting this game, set the mood by having a candle-lit bath with your lover. Make sure you are both immaculately clean by the time you step out of the bath so that you are both confident in letting each other explore some of the most intimate areas of your body.
I've been using a butt plug for a few years now, but I don't mind saying how weary I was the first time I tried one. It wasn't just because I was afraid of how it would feel when inserted, but more because I was broadening my sexual repertoire and that can always be a little scary as well as exciting.
Because it was a few years ago, and because the butt plug was bought for me as a present, I can't actually remember the name of the first ever plug I used. But since then, I have finally settled on my absolute favourite plug, which is the one I want to tell you about.
Using a butt plug as part of your sexual repertoire will lead to intense anal fulfilment and amazing orgasms. They're a fabulous way to initially explore the boundaries of anal sex, either through solo masturbation or for anal stimulation during vaginal sex with your lover. But if you have never used a butt plug before, I'd recommend you start off with some anal beads before graduating to a butt plug (check out the Small Beginners Anal Beads or Latex Power Balls).
OK, how many of you watched Channel 4's cock-umentary on the world's biggest penis last week? I did, and it reminded me of an experience I had when I was a teenager. It wasn't anything to do with the world's biggest penis, but more like the world's smallest.
My friend Jennie was dating this guy called Andrew, who was studying at Bournemouth University, and she nagged me to go with her to visit him for the weekend. The prospect of playing gooseberry just so Jennie could get her rocks off wasn't appealing in the slightest, especially seeing how most of Andrew's mate's comprised the biggest sector of geeks I'd ever laid eyes on.
Still, the price of being a good friend is to sometimes waste a weekend talking to guys you'd never look at on a night out, just because you don't want to offend your mate's new beau.
So we arrived at Bournemouth station, Andrew was late and we had to wait an age for him to turn up. He eventually strolled over to us, reeking of booze and declaring that he and his mates – who were huddled just a few meters down the platform giggling and pointing at Jen and I – were in the middle of an all-day drinking competition. They had decided that we had to join in immediately, even though we were laden with baggage.
More dirty talk – erotic reading to get you fired up
So, how did it go the other night? Did you try those two simple examples I talked you through last week? Asking and sharing about what turns you and your lover on in bed is a major step towards full-blown dirty talk. It can be a little embarrassing for some though, and it will take them a while to make that leap between "Oooh" and "Oooh, I love it when you lick me there."
So, if you were among those who felt a bit too exposed when sharing and asking your lover what turns them on, and vice versa, I've got a nifty trick that will help enhance you sexual confidence and make it easier for you to start talking dirty to one another.
I tried a new position last night, which, at first, I never thought would make me come, but it did… twice. So I thought I would share it with you guys in the hope that it gets you off as much as it did me.
It's probably called a million different names to a million different people, but I'm going to call this particular position the Horizontal Spoon.
The Horizontal Spoon is quite simple when you establish a rhythm, but actually getting into the position takes a tiny bit of maneuvering. You can either perform the Horizontal Spoon on your bed, your sofa or on the floor, and you'll need to apply a generous amount of lube beforehand – no matter how wet you are. The lube we used last night was called O' My Natural Lubricant", and I highly recommend it for grindier, more vigorous sex.
In this position your lover needs to lie straight on his back. There's an easy way to get into the Horizontal Spoon, which I tried last night and it worked without any discomfort. When you lover is lying on his back, straddle him in the Reverse Cowgirl position – gentle lower yourself down on to his penis with your bottom facing towards him.
'Get over here now and suck my clit hard, then plough your big, fat fuck-rod dick into my soaking wet pussy mountain.'
Don't be too shocked by the above statement. We're quite some way off that kind of one-liner for now, but that's exactly what we'll be aiming for in the near future. Surprised?
If your absolute burning desire is to find out how to tell your lover that they make you 'want to come really hard,' then you're in the wrong place. If you want to know how to tell your lover what makes you come; what you want them to do to you and vice versa; and how to use a plethora of filthy phrases and dirty words to tip your lover over the orgasmic edge in bed, congratulations! You're in the right place.