Often it takes only one PE episode or a negative reaction from a partner to start you worrying. And worry only aggravates the problem.
So what's the best way to impress a date? Tracey Cox, author of Pocket Superflirt (£5.99), says there is no such thing as a failproof chat up line.
"There is no chat up line that's going to work in every situation! Just start a conversation with something that's appropriate to the situation you're in. And if you do have something extraordinary to say, save it for about five minutes in. We're too busy looking, not listening in those first 60 seconds. Deciding if we fancy someone and getting clues about them from their posture, clothes and body language…"
"You're better off worrying about your body language and whether you're standing nice and tall, smiling and making eye contact than you are what's coming out of your mouth."
I’ve had several questions recently about the use of Viagra. One was from a lady in her mid-60s, with her husband in his early 70s. They still enjoy a fulfilling sex life, but he now needs a little help – but she feared their doctor would say they’re too old for Viagra.
Deep throating refers to taking the entire erect penis into the mouth and entrance of the throat. You don't need to be a porn star to do it, but be warned - it is a skill and it does take some practice. And make sure you deep throat a partner you’re really comfortable with - someone you trust, who is also patient, as it’s you, the giver, who sets the pace, not him…
There’s something wild and wonderful about tearing each other’s clothes off - and I’m talking literally. I once had a memorably lustful exchange with a boyfriend who burst in on me in a theatre dressing room, and ripped open the tight Victorian bodice that was part of my costume. As the twenty-odd tiny fastenings pinged across the room, I did for a nano-second think what a pain in the arse it was going to be sewing them all back on, but this was soon eclipsed by the heady euphoria induced by his wanton, button-popping desire.
That was an unexpected and spontaneous moment, but there’s no reason why with some sexy lingerie you can’t plan a bodice-ripping scenario of your own…Julie Peasgood
Give yourself permission to experiment now, and take time to discover your sensuality. Light some candles, have a long soak in a bath with fragrant oils, (and a large glass of wine if that helps you to relax) and explore a little solo stimulation, to become familiar with your body and its needs.
Don’t feel you have to identify yourself as being either straight or gay – it’s perfectly OK to be bisexual, and this does not mean that you’re ‘sitting on the fence’ sexually, or that you’re greedy!
Our drives are most similar in the early lust-filled stages of dating, when Nature is pumping our bodies with chemicals to make us mate and bond. But once that bonding has taken place (usually within 2 years) then the drive tends to drop.Julie Peasgood
It’s always tricky dealing with mismatched libidos. If you have a low sex drive and your partner is the opposite, you may feel pestered to have sex when you aren’t in the mood, whereas he feels rejected.Julie Peasgood
It sounds from your letter as if you’re not only missing this element of your love life, but that you really care about your partner’s welfare, so I hope this will help with both.