There’s something wild and wonderful about tearing each other’s clothes off - and I’m talking literally. I once had a memorably lustful exchange with a boyfriend who burst in on me in a theatre dressing room, and ripped open the tight Victorian bodice that was part of my costume. As the twenty-odd tiny fastenings pinged across the room, I did for a nano-second think what a pain in the arse it was going to be sewing them all back on, but this was soon eclipsed by the heady euphoria induced by his wanton, button-popping desire.
That was an unexpected and spontaneous moment, but there’s no reason why with some sexy lingerie you can’t plan a bodice-ripping scenario of your own…
Give yourself permission to experiment now, and take time to discover your sensuality. Light some candles, have a long soak in a bath with fragrant oils, (and a large glass of wine if that helps you to relax) and explore a little solo stimulation, to become familiar with your body and its needs.
Don’t feel you have to identify yourself as being either straight or gay – it’s perfectly OK to be bisexual, and this does not mean that you’re ‘sitting on the fence’ sexually, or that you’re greedy!
Our drives are most similar in the early lust-filled stages of dating, when Nature is pumping our bodies with chemicals to make us mate and bond. But once that bonding has taken place (usually within 2 years) then the drive tends to drop.
It’s always tricky dealing with mismatched libidos. If you have a low sex drive and your partner is the opposite, you may feel pestered to have sex when you aren’t in the mood, whereas he feels rejected.
It sounds from your letter as if you’re not only missing this element of your love life, but that you really care about your partner’s welfare, so I hope this will help with both.
I can understand your frustration, especially as you have tried talking to her about the situation, but how about now diffusing the situation entirely and just offering whatever support you can – especially with your kids?
If you’ve bought yourself a magic wand vibrator, or are thinking of treating yourself or your partner to one, you might be wondering how to get the best use from it.
There are loads of ways to enjoy these powerful sex toys no matter what your pleasure preference.
By using your imagination and trying out some new techniques with your massager, you can make sure you enjoy varied stimulation and reight new orgasmic heights time after time.
Here are my top 10 tips for using your magic wand vibrator - enjoy!
Don’t compare yourself to porn stars - remember, they’re acting, and when they perform, there’s no emotional connection. Instead, look your man in the eyes as you move, and the chances are he’ll find it a huge turn-on.
He obviously finds the idea of you having sex with or being lusted after by other men a turn-on, but if it does the opposite for you, even as a fantasy, then you need to tell him.