Star Trek sex toys. We have to get some of these in stock right now.
Another one from the "You couldn't make this up" department: 58 year old US judge Donald Thompson currently stands accused of three counts of indecent exposure because he was allegedly seen using a penis pump whilst presiding in court. The soaraway Sun tells us:
We're really not quite sure what to make of this: a new contraption from our American cousins that's designed to take the effort out of sex.
The BodyBouncer is an shaped like a small coffee table but is made from steel tubes with a rubber sheet stretched across the top. The sheet's got a hole in the middle. (Can you see where this going?). If the gentleman gets underneath the BodyBouncer, his bits can go through the hole in the rubber sheet, letting his partner sit on the BodyBouncer from above, accommodate him and have all their body weight supported by the BodyBouncer. Boing!
It's a citywide case of "Not tonight darling, I've got a headache". But in Hong Kong, it's not the girls saying this traditional passion killer, but men. Turns out that the pace of life is so crazy in the city fondly known as Honkers that chaps prefer work to sex. HK women are rightly miffed about this so they've turned to their own devices (see what we did there?) to get what they need.
Sapa-AFP reports that
"The sale of love aids for women has rocketed in Hong Kong because men say they prefer work to sex. A survey revealed blokes would rather get down to business in the professional rather than the passion sense. So a high street pharmacy chain began selling sex toys alongside soap and shampoo. Vibrators have been a surprise hit at Watson's group - controlled by tycoon Li Ka-shing. Delighted sex education bosses say the news could help the sexually repressed city come out of its shell. "Some people need them, for entertainment or for improvement of sexual problems," said Dr Ng Man-lun, of the Hong Kong Sex Education Association. "To emphasise the health image and role of the products, such gadgets are better sold in established dispensaries than in 'sex shops' which give an image more on the entertainment side."
Taking your buzzing best friend on holiday is certainly a good way to let you get fully relaxed - but you've got to be careful about what your destination country thinks of sex toys. Despite its racy reputation thanks to that dreadful song "One Night In Bangkok", Thailand is actually a very demure country, where the sale of sex toys is illegal. The Phuket Gazette recently reported Police Colonel Paween Pongsirin as stating "It is illegal to open a sex shop in Phuket or anywhere else in Thailand. Such shops are not congruent with Thai morals or Thai law" while Sittisak Jai-Uae, Chief Inspector of Phuket Customs Office, said: “It is illegal to to buy or sell sex toys, or open a sex shop, in Thailand. It is also illegal to import such devices to Thailand. If you order sex toys on the Internet or have friends send them to you, and we discover them, we are required to confiscate them.” Words worth heeding there - you don't want to get in trouble with the Thai police. If you do take toys travelling with you, it's best to be discreet - our range of funky sex toy storage items are just the ticket for this, or you might just want to get all James Bond about it and get the vibrator that looks like a mobile phone.
BBC News reports that
British Police officers are using condoms as their latest weapon in a campaign to tackle crime.
West Midlands Police are giving out the promotional condoms, which bear the message "protect your valuables", to students at the region's universities.
A spokesman said many students bring a range of equipment with them, such as laptops and mobile phones, which are attractive to thieves.
The condoms will help young people to think about crime prevention, he said.
The condoms are available from the University of Birmingham, Aston University, the University of Central England, Coventry University, the University of Warwick, the University of Wolverhampton and Newman College of Higher Education.
Top marks to the police for figuring out the best place to put their sensible message is on something students will actually look at - although whether they'll remember to keep their possessions safe in the heat of passion is another thing.
Maybe there's other messages that should be put on condom packets to ensure students' well being: "Eat your greens", "Phone your mum" and "Do some bloody work" all spring to mind.
For those students unfortunate enough to have missed out on the coppers' free condoms, we've got plenty to get you through the next term at uni - visit Sensible Johnny and ensure the postman delivers something more interesting than a postcard from your gran to your digs.
Turns out the taboo of anal sex means that everyone's banging away at the back door but no-one's actually talking about it. So says Ass Backwards: The media's silence about rampant anal sex, a recent article from Slate magazine, which quotes extensively from a new US federal survey of American sex habits:
"For males, the proportion who have had anal sex with a female increases from 4.6 percent at age 15 to 34 percent at ages 22-24; for females, the proportion who have had anal sex with a male increases from 2.4 percent at age 15 to 32 percent at age 22-24." One in three women admits to having had anal sex by age 24. By ages 25 to 44, the percentages rise to 40 for men and 35 for women. And that's not counting the 3.7 percent of men aged 15 to 44 who've had anal sex with other men."
Anal sex may not yet be the stuff of polite dinner party conversation, but there's no reason you can't experiment with your alternative pleasure zones. Like everything, there's a right and a wrong way to play with your posterior, and you've got to be extra safe when it comes to having happy bumsex. Lovehoney Buyer's Guidee has a complete beginner's guide to anal sex toys to let you comfortably and carefully find out if it does it for you. There could be a whole new world of pleasure waiting for you…
You couldn't make it up: "A rubber company in China has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky, apparently seeking to exploit the White House affair that led to the impeachment of the former American president". reports IOL. "Spokesperson Liu Wenhua of the Guangzhou Rubber Group said the Clinton condoms will go on sale in southern China for $3.72 for a box of 12, while the Lewinsky model will be priced at $2.35 for the same quantity. 'The Clinton condom will be the top of our line,' he said.
Liu said the company had chosen to use the Clinton name because consumers viewed the former president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex as an effective way to prevent the spread of the virus that causes Aids. 'The names we chose are symbols of people who are responsible and dedicated to their jobs,' he said. 'I believe Bill Clinton cannot be unhappy about this because he's a very generous man.'"
Yes, Mr Wenhua, we're sure the former president will be thrilled to have the memory of his indiscretions emblazoned across the funbags of a nation. Still, can't argue with the importance of safe sex - we've got a whole website stuffed full of the best condoms money can buy at Lovehoney, through no Bill and Mony ones yet. Our contacts in Ghangzhou are on it…
Lance Price's The Spin Doctor's Diary, a new book about 10 Downing Street, reveals a host of embarrassing secrets about the Labour government, including Price recounting "how on the night of Labour's second election landslide victory two Labour officials had sex on Mr Blair's sofa, while the rest of the cabinet celebrated down the corridor." The Guardian provides further salacious details - all in the public interest of course… Personally, we'd rather read something properly steamy, like Black Lace's The Power Game, a tale of Government lust and desire. And don't forget Lovehoney's own vital polling of the British electorate in this year's race for power - the General Erection website!
First it's Desperate Housewives, now it's cast of Lost fooling about with sex toys whilst on set. Maggie Grace, star of the Channel 4 hit series, told TeenToday how one of her scenes was sabotaged by the covert insertion of a cheeky vibrator:
Lost' beauty Maggie Grace was left red-faced when co-star Ian Somerhalder swapped one of her props with a sex toy. The blonde actress, who plays spoilt Shannon in the hit show, was supposed to rummage around and pull out an item from her luggage.
But cheeky Ian, who plays Shannon's stepbrother Boone, had replaced the prop with a vibrator. Maggie revealed: "We had this scene where I was frantically searching for an item in my luggage. Ian had the prop guy switch the real item with a sex toy. So during the scene where I find it, I pulled out a sex toy instead. "The cameras were rolling, so it was even caught on tape. It was mortifying!"
Wethinks the lady doth protest too much. We've a suitably huge collection of battery-powered pleasurables for you to secrete in girlfriends' handbags for a tittersome moment or as a subtle hint for them to lighten up and relax!