Can't last long enough? You're not alone. Numerous studies from Kinsey onwards have indicated that once penetration begins, most men take between 3 and 5 minutes to ejaculate. And the younger you are, the worse it is.
Suzi Godson in The Times Body & Soul section suggests a variety of ways to addresses the "buttock-clenching anxiety" of early sexual encounters, including pointing him towards a couple of confidence boosters.
The Durex Play Longer delay lube and Safex Delay Condoms are picked out as a couple of useful helpers. Both products contain Benzocaine which helps to dull sensation and delay ejaculation.
Once your confidence is building, try the stop-start technique, developed in 1965 by the aptly named Dr J Semens. It helps men recognise the build-up of pleasurable sensations before orgasm, so they can then try to hold off from ejaculation for 15 minutes. Practise for 3 times a week for 3 months and guys will be able to control their responses a lot better.
And above all, do your best and don't worry.
Let's be honest - not everyone likes the taste of going down. In fact, for some, it can be downright off-putting. But don't despair! Company magazine has rounded up some gorgeous goodies that will take you from yuck to yummy.
It recommends you use his willy as a dipstick for the Sizzling Body Candy or that you melt into each-other's arms with a his 'n' hers Chocolate Thong. And, of course, there's always Chocolate Body Paint, which tastes great liked off his willy.
More dedicated oral practitioners might like to try a little Sweet Release, the magazine suggests. Makes him taste of apples and her taste citrusy… How long til they do a Vodka and Red Bull flavour?
B Magazine has a recipe for sexual success this month, recommending that couples add some spice by having sex standing up. Apparently, being held up by your man helps increase blood flow to the parts that matter, giving you faster and more intense orgasms, which is only to be applauded, we think.
The mag recommends giving nature some assistance by using a Mates Intensify Vibrating Condom Ring to deliver some pre-sex stimulation.
"If your man's a lot taller or a lot smaller than you, have sex on the stairs to even out the height difference," adds sexpert Sarah Hedley. "Or stand and get your man to kneel in front of you and give you oral sex."
Try it on the escalator next time you're in Marks and Sparks… And if you're after some even more adventurous positions, have a look at the Pocket Kama Sutra.
Designer lubrication gels add tingles to enhance your erotic play, says B Magazine.
"Lubricants can turn an average lover into a great one," says TV sex expert Tracey Cox. "We don't always lubricate on cue, so lubes can make a big difference - and prevent friction burns too!
The magazine recommends lubes as good for everyone, in any position and particularly great for foreplay, picking out the Durex Play lubes and Mates Intensify Clitoral Stimulating Gel as two fab orgasm boosters.
B Magazine (May 2006) recommends the Supersex Rabbit Vibe in its 5 Hot Sex Trends article. "The Supersex Rabbit vibrator has the original clit-stimulating rabbit ears and is ultra-quiet and more powerful," says the mag. Try one!
We mentioned the film Dildo Diaries recently, which is all about the ludicrous ban on sex toys in Texas. The film's director kindly left a comment to let us know that the film has been picked up for broadcast in France and DVDs of the film are now available to buy direct online at www.dildodiaries.net.
Glee Magazine: "It’s one of the biggest misconceptions in dating, and it’s time to get it out in the open for good. The so-called “cool” men and women out there aren’t half as good in the sack as their “nerdier” counterparts. Nerds not only have the brains, but they also have the most powerful possession of all, the love touch. These guys and gals have taken the time to do their homework, and they’ve mastered the geography, chemistry and mathematical formulas of how to make your body scream. Ready to smarten up and become the ultimate seducer? Then put away those shades and pick up a pocket protector because your about to get lesson 101 in love." [Read the whole article]
Avast ye swabs! Lovehoney now has a Pirate Girl Outfit within its treasure trove of sexy uniforms, yours for just the price of a few gold doubloons. It doesn't come with a Pretty Polly to perch on your shoulder, but it does have some sexy lace up dress and a rakish pirate hat, garter and an eyepatch. (Stocking are sold separately - check our our massive stockings and tights selection). Go watch the new Pirates Of the Caribbean movie with dreamy Johnny Depp, then don your pirate girl outfit and make your love mate do a 21 gun salute! Yaaaarrr!
More fascinating stuff on the history of the vibrator, this time from Rachel Maines, a visiting scholar in the department of science, technology and society at Cornell University. Her book Technology of Orgasm: Hysteria, the Vibrator and Women’s Sexual Satisfaction is all about how vibrators came into being and women getting their rightful oats:
Here's an excerpt from an interview at The Ithacan:
Rachel Maines: The book is about how physicians used to massage women to orgasm to treat them for hysteria, starting, at least as far as I can tell, in the time of Hippocrates, which is 450 B.C. up to the time of Freud, the 1930s. The vibrator was invented in the 1880s in the context of that treatment. It was devised, as far as we can tell, in part because it was used for that purpose.
LT: Was it medicinal then?
RM: Well, if you consider producing an orgasm medicinal, then yeah, I guess you can say it was medicinal. (Laughs.)
LT: How did you get the idea for this?
RM: Well, I was working on, of all subjects, needlework history and I was very surprised to discover ads for vibrators in needlework magazines from the 19-teens — from the 1906 “Women’s Home Companion” and the 1908 “Modern Priscilla,” 1910, things like that. And I thought, boy, that’s really early for an electrical appliance, considering that most people didn’t have electricity in their houses at that point. And it turns out that the vibrator is one of the very first electrical appliances to be introduced into the home.
LT: Would you label this feminist literature? Do you consider yourself a feminist author?
RM: Oh, absolutely. I’m definitely a feminist author, and this is a feminist book, trust me. It’s all about how we wouldn’t have needed this supposed treatment for this supposed hysteria if we didn’t have an androcentric definition for sexuality, in which penetration is considered to be the most important thing, right? That’s what real sex is supposed to be — except that only a minority of women reach orgasm that way. So the rest of them, the other 70 percent, the majority, were very frustrated.
See also: A Brief History Of The Female Orgasm
,History of the Hello Kitty Vibrator
; Put What Where? 2000 Years Of Bizarre Sex Advice