£4.99 Sunday delivery! Hurry ends in ...
  1. Ah, another day at the office. A colleague was sacked. :-(. I understand why but not how. :-( I went to the gym. I'm currently dyeing my hair *gulp*. And worrying about how I'm going to make it to the end of the month because I have splurged stupidly with money. Oh well. Same old, same old. Why is it that no matter how much you earn, if you are crap with money you still end up living in your overdraft??!

    Friend coming over for dinner tomorrow so… First tasting will be the weekend.

    Life is good but just… it slips by so goddamn first.

    Well, I started the day at 5.15am and ate my dinner circa 9.30pm so I'm afraid I have nothing remotely sexual to say! Does anyone have any idea who to find spare time during the day (for anything)?! And we don't even have kids!

    Went swimming with my mum this evening. After spending after about an hour and half trying to get through to / get information out of Carphone Warehouse. Did you know that there are WEB PAGES dedicated to their lack of customer service???!

    Ummm. Am tired. Sorry for naff blog. Will taste this weekend. Just think, in a few more days' time you won't have to read my witless ramblings anymore…. ;-)

    Still off sick from work. I'd like to think I'm sounding a bit like Mariella Frostrup at the moment but I think Barry White's probably closer to the truth. Jason got home about 8 and we had a fairly early night. Jason offered to 'service' me. He enjoys taking care of my needs but it wouldn't have been fair to take advantage of him tonight because he was really tired. So no-one was tasting anyone…

    Well, we went to see Slava's Snow Show this evening. A show by clowns for children. Sweet and sad and enchanting and amusing. And with lots of large inflatable balloons! It was absolutely lovely but I have to say the highlight of my evening took place in the ladies loos at the end of the show. No, no, no. Don't be so disgusting. There were loads of kids around!

    I stood watching for a few minutes whilst a girl of about seven or eight spoke to her younger sister through the door of one of the end cubicles. It quickly became apparent that the younger girl was stuck. I watched a little to see if anyone else had any bright ideas (I know I have a tendancy to steam in and be inconsiderate of others if I think someone needs rescuing).

    Nothing happened. I went up to the door and tried to turn the lock from the outside, first with my nails and then with a coin offered by another lady. I could hear the child on the other side whimper as I failed and failed again.

    I cleared my slightly tiddly voiced and tried to sound calm and reassuring, "Don't worry. We'll get this open in no time. These doors are designed to be easy to open". I frantically searched my brain for an image of something I might have in my handbag that might be wider than a coin and serve as a… screwdriver.

    I found a bottle opener I had bough in a recent trip to the seaside and had the pleasure of announcing, "I thought that bottle opener migh be useful for something!" as I finally twisted the implement hard and released the door and young girl. Her dad didn't seem to believe her when she told him what had happened!

    OK I am boring you. Listen, the sperm doesn't taste of apple. What can I say? Shane has taken two pills EVERY DAY. Maybe, at the end, there will be a taste of something akin to green apple but I'm not holding my breath. So sue me.

    Day: Monday 2/10/06
    Time: 10:00pm
    Location: In bed
    Circumstances: A quickie after sex to finish him off
    How did he taste? Neutral, maybe a hint of sweetness or maybe just wishful thinking
    Sperm Test Rating: 7 (1=normal, 100=Golden Delicious Apple)

    Took the day off work today - my throat is no better. I spent the day eating soup and ice lollies. Jason pampered me when he got home - he cooked for me and brought me Strepsils and we had an early night. We began by having sex side by side and finished up with him in my mouth. Another tasting! I hope I haven't given him my throat infection.

    Well. Not a good time to do a blog. I'm a bad combination of a too upfront person dealing with PMT, feeling depressed, insecure and snappy. I'm not a happy bunny. Don't know what's happened this month. I think last month was better. I think. Mind you, it's better now I'm taking Yasmin (one of the new contraceptive pills on the market).


    I know, I know. I run the raising the probability of getting breast cancer. And of DVT. But, when I'm not taking it, I run the risk of being out of my head for three weeks every month and not being to hold down a job or a relationship. You tell me, what would you choose?


    And, yes, I have been through just about every alternative therapy you can. Some things help for a while and then it's back to the way it was before. *sigh* Oh to be a man. Women who don't suffer from this just don't know how lucky they are. The terrible thing is that I know, compared to some other women, I don't suffer REALLY badly…


    Well… I'm off to… try and get a grip. Wish me luck.

    Jason got up early because he had stuff to do. I was very lazy and stayed in bed till late. Actually it wasn't laziness - I feel like I'm coming down with something (when I should be going down on something). I've lost my voice and I've got no energy. Not good news for the Salty Sailor. He may be on dry land for a couple of days. I may have to buy him a mouth fleshlight at this rate.

    Well we didn't make it to Ealing today. The main reason was that I looked at my finances and kind of realised I had blown a lot of cash in a very short period of time so back to living like students for the rest of the month. Kind of.


    Well, I can't help it. Payday comes and I just want to go out and have a good time and buy all the things I think I need! Ha. Ha. I know, I know, not a very responsible attitude when people are dying of starvation but… I've been homeless and I've been without food.


    I've had a tin of tuna and had to share it with the cat 'cause that's all I had in the house to eat. Hell, I've known not so easy times and had a baseball bat stuck into the wall above my head…


    I left home when I was fifteen and moved house on average every couple of months for the first year. Now… It's so nice that life is good. It's so nice to be able to think, "Mmmm I like that. I'll buy it,". Anyway, you don't want to hear about that. :-)



    We woke up early this morning and then went back to bed to make love and snuggle. A lovely Sunday morning. BUT IT DOESN'T TASTE OF APPLE!!! :-(



    Rest of the day? Gym. Then lunch and chilling on the sofa. Then trying to flog clothes that don't suit me anymore on e-Bay. Oh, it's sad, but we all have to get older. :-) You just don't realise what you have when you're young. :-)



    Signing off now before I make someone vomit with my philosophical (just) ramblings….

    Things are getting a bit tasty at the Army with Hidden Desires chocolate getting a seal of approval, but with a wish for there to be a ruder version too. Meanwhile, Durex Play Mint Tingle packs a incredibly minty taste punch - "The heat helps me feel hot to trot. It is also an effective, long lasting, pleasant lubricant which doesn’t detract from the appropriate level of friction. Although, the tingling sensation can overwhelm the normal tactile sensations. It is a strong enough flavour that it can disguise any other flavours such as the rubbery taste of condoms. his is the ‘fisherman’s friend’ of lubes and I’d have to hate the taste of cock (a couple of hours after he’s eaten a curry) to use this when giving head but it is certainly interesting, different and well worth a try."

    Non-latex Trojan Supra Condoms proved to be a winner, although they are a bit of a bugger to roll on because they're not as stretchy as normal condoms, while the Pink Mini Wabbit Vibrator is a "great little toy to have in your handbag". Even more discreet than the Mini Wabbit is the Toy Joy Make Me Blush Vibrating Brush - it looks exactly like a blusher brush but it's already to provide far more entertainment - "The brush gives a lovely soft titillating sensation well worth following up by using the handle as a more stimulating vibe. The handle is as effective as any of the range of small vibrators I have; especially good for clitoral stimulation."

    Read more sex toys reviews and contribute your own at Orgasm Army.

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