I was reading through the Metro paper the other day, when I saw one of those little "and finally…" pieces. You know the ones that are more little blurbs than real news stories? It was on a woman named Lisa Ventura, a writer of erotica. Here is the copy:
A Tory council candidate is leading a double life as an erotic writer who reviews sex toys online. Lisa Ventura is standing in Thursday's election in the St. Clement ward of Worcester but she has also been running eroticfiction.org for seven years. In it, the 32-year-old uses the alias Rose McCaine to discuss her sex life. In her latest entry on the 'Rose's Journal' blog, she writes about visiting the Italian town of Sorrento, using a sex toy and praises 'hot' Italian men. Ms. Ventura declined to comment yesterday.
As you can imagine, much shock and horror followed her "outing". She has subsequently deleted all her work from online and has given up her various gigs as a sex advisor. I haven't seen how she fared in the election, but I know I am pulling for her (Tory or no).
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love toys. It isn't a job for me, peeps--I truly love the tarnation out of all that goes with improving my sex life…be that toys, books, or tips from friendly folks.
It is inevitable, therefore, that when someone is talking to me, that they will eventually hear about my latest shipment or hear me pontificate on the differences between using a butt plug versus a very slim dildo.
That is all well and good for me, you might say, but what happens if one's partner isn't as open to the idea of talking about double-pronged vibrators over dinner?
The Tongue Dinger Vibrating Tongue Ring has been hitting the headlines in the past few days. First off it was controversially named Vibrator of the Year by a website on the other side of the pond. So why the controversy? Well, the Tongue Dinger requires the services of another tongue (preferably human!) in order for you to get the best out of it and hardened (!) vibrator watchers reckon there are far more worthy candidates for the award.
Observer columnist Kathryn Flett even made the Tongue Dinger the subject of her weekly column on Sunday. That was before she went on to say rather nice things about Lovehoney, more of which… eyes north!
The Family Planning Association and the Department of Health have both recently come out with studies that looked at current sex practices--and while I think it is frickin' fabulous that middle-aged people are having a whole lot more sex (so long as that does not include my mother…*shudder*), there is some cause for concern.
"Dr Patrick French, a consultant at the Mortimer Market Centre GUM (Genito Urinary Medicine) clinic in Central London, says STI rates in older age groups are rising because such people are not used to thinking about the dangers of casual sex: 'There's a perception that it's only young people who get STIs but I've met many people in their thirties and forties with them.
'The oldest person I've seen was in his eighties.'"
All the plain looking women can take heart - now they have the chance to be a pageant winner, too. All they have to do is know about HIV/Aids and know their way around blowing up and twirling condoms… yes, I said twirling condoms.
Come summertime, there is one thing I know that I can count on same as I count on morning following night - I will have someone staying over at mine. With people coming up for wedding parties and kids off on summer holidays, it's the perfect time to take a weekend and sleep on my couch.
As much as I love my friends, though, I don't necessarily need all of them to know the intimate details of my toy collection (I save such delicate information for my anonymous readers… ) So in the spirit of giving helpful hints, let me give you some ideas for keeping your sex life out of dinner table conversation (though feel free to put it on the dinner table, if you like… )
Some of the best toys are stepping away from basic flesh coloured, genital simulators. Not only do these toys rock because they reach areas that others miss, but you can leave them out for guests to appreciate your "art" collection.
At Lovehoney we like to think that we're oiling the sex lives of our satisfied customers to give everybody a smoother ride, so we're chuffed when we read reviews that mention how we helped out.
Nobody likes interrupting a long licking session to shave those nasty artificial lube flavours off their tongue. If licking's turned to gurning for you one too many times, check out what this Orgasm Army reviewer has to say about the natural taste and long-lasting slippery fun of Sliquid Swirl Flavoured Lubricant!
Spotted in the Metro (and a few other places) on July 6 - a story that minces no words with the title Teen has Sex with Cow. The papers have been milking (urf!) this one for all it's worth… In Skipwith, North Yorkshire, a teenager wearing only 'black briefs' was caught by a passer-by having sex with an English Longhorn. He fled when the voyeur shouted at him, and was nowhere to be seen when the police arrived (no surprises there!). The cow's owner reckons it had been groomed for sex, as the feed bucket had been moved around to suit the udder-loving cow fiend.
It is our solemn duty at Lovehoney to remind all of you that sex with cows is illegal and probably immoral, and to offer a legal, safe alternative way to stick your cock in a cow - the Classified Mr Moo Sex Pouch! Guaranteed not to get you in trouble with the law, unless you start waggling it about at the supermarket. If that doesn't wow you, say 'How now' to Pat the Inflatable Cow, which will moo with delight as you toy with her udders. Hey, whatever turns you on…
Spotted in the Sun on 3 July, We're the splish sploshers, an article all about women whose greatest joy is getting wet. And no, we don't mean just between their legs, but all over! So the next time you see a couple wading into the sea fully clothed, or girls out walking the dog in a storm with no umbrella, you won't need to wonder why they're grinning from ear to ear any more. They've probably been having a great summer so far! The thought of those translucent clothes clinging to voluptuous curves makes us sympathetic to this particular kink, but if just getting in a bath with stilettos on is a turn-on, just imagine how much more fun it would be with a Waterproof Vibrating Bath Massager or something else from our range of toys for bathroom sex!