Truly, it's a dream come true. This evening on Top Gear on BBC 2, Lovehoney's humble Erotic Car Seat Seduction Massager had the honour of gently massaging the buttocks of politically incorrect car-mad motormouth Jeremy Clarkson. In case you missed it, the programme's repeated again on Wednesday on BBC 2 at 7 o'clock. Or you can see it on the BBC iPlayer for 30 days.
Either way, we'll try to bring you some pictures of Mr C having his rear-end electronically fondled very soon.
According to an article in The Sun, psychologist Dr. Sandra Pertot has come out with the new theory that not everyone is capable of having hot sex. She says that there are as many different sexual personality types as there are personality types and therefore, some of us just won't be able to get the job done.
"We accept there are so many different personality types, why don't we accept that there are so many differences in sex? Just like some people will never be able to become a Hollywood actor, some people won't be able to have hot sex - so why do sex therapists say they can?
If you type in 'great sex' to Google, you will find hundreds of books promising you lusty sex. From day one of my career, I had couples coming to me saying they were upset they were not having passionate sex.
The implication is, if you follow the programme in these books, you will have hot sex."
Over in another forum, we got to talking about Durex Tingle lube - one of my all-time favourites. But I was surprised when someone said that as the lube was silicone, that you had to be careful with it when using it with silicone toys.
I was surprised by this - I've always known Tingle to be a water-based lube (we're checking on that at the moment), so considered it completely safe. Clearly, in this situation, there is only one thing to do…
Oh, Sex Toys. So tempting, but how do you know what to buy? What works? What doesn't? What is even OUT THERE to try? You have questions, I have answers (most of the time…)
So much of what you see about 'sex' and 'sexiness' seems to focus on the raw physicality of the act and tarting it up at all hours and on all occasions. I can appreciate that these elements do have their place at times but surely there are some more inspirational approaches out there to mingle in my headspace?
When it comes to melding technology and sex, there aren't many people more in the know than Kyle Machulis of sex-tech site Slashdong. Kyle has several reports from the recent Arse Electronika "conference about pr0nnovation", including this clip where he says really nice things about iBuzz Two (after demonstrating a moaning femmebot).
After my sleepless night last night pondering "America's Favorite" lube, I've had lubes on the brain all day. Which is not un-distracting at work, though it does make for some amusing conversations with your officemates when you ponder which lube would best make for coffee mug sliding races on the desk. (We thought it would be a heavy silicone based lube, if you were curious - though you should feel free to try it out for yourselves)
While I may still not know what "America's Favorite" is, or even how that is defined, I do know some good lubes that serve their own purposes. It is always a sound idea to match the lube to the job, so I present to you:
More good news from the Venus Berlin Sex Show for the world's lazy onanists, this time from Japan. And no, we don't mean the pretty Japanese girl in the bunny outfit, rather the SOM Series of electrical masturbators that she's representing.
Much more clinical in appearance than many fucking machines - a polite way of saying they don't look like they've been made in a shed - the SOM Series is a range of masturbators, two for men and one for women.