ITV has really got the sex toys bit between its teeth. Not content with a regular slot showing sex toys on Alan Titchmarsh, it let Fern Britton and Philip Schofield loose with some sex toys this week on their morning ITV show.
This Morning was playing host to seventy-five-year-old Gwen Bailey, ostensibly the oldest host of sex toy parties in the country. Reports have coquettishly not said which company she works for, but judging from the range she showed off, she's most like an Ann Summers party organiser.
Ann Summers has done an amazing job introducing sex toys to the British public. For many years, an Ann Summers party has been a rite of passage for women who get their first fondle of a vibrator over a glass of Lambrusco.
On This Morning, Gwen showed off a range of lingerie and vibrators, including the Ann Summers Wave Rabbit Vibrator, which is just like the Waver Bunny, only a different colour, in a different box and £10 more expensive.
Lovehoney has launched it's new blog polls!
Now we can find out more about the weird and wonderful world of sex - simply by getting you to answer one question!
It might be fun, it might be silly, it might even be down-right filthy but we hope you enjoy taking them!
Check out the polls to the right of this blog every week for different questions and fascinating results - the most interesting answers will even be published on the blog! Nice!
The sensational iBuzz Two Vibrator Music Activated Sex Toy, which made such a buzz on The Jonathan Ross Show, has spawned its very own homebrew music scene.
A crack team of Dutch bedroom composers have been quick on the draw and online label On-Mix Media has just released Moments of iBuzz Pleasure Volume 2, a free-to-download collection of tunes that promise to rock your world.
The songs have fantastic titles, too, including 'Lick and Kick It', 'I Need 2 Come' and the, um, subtle-sounding 'F**k Hard'.
As they say on their website: "You can rock out to your favourite jams and get off at the same time. The vibration gets stronger the louder you play it. So, Speed Metal or Hardhouse chics have caution. You might just blow up.
Hey, at least we warned you." Quite.
Download Moments of iBuzz Pleasure Volume 2 here.
Oh, my stars and garters, y'all. Harvey Nichols has unveiled a new perfume that smells of… blood, sweat, saliva, and semen. No, seriously.
I have exactly zero idea of who would want to wear this - last I heard, we were all taking showers to get rid of these scents, but what do I know? These crazy kids these days. The stuff even costs £76, which might technically be more than the current cost of all the clothes that I'm wearing.
Of slightly more useful bent, though still definitely odd, is the new Vulva Real Vagina Scent. I feel silly saying it, since it is all in the name, but this stuff… smells like a woman's vagina. Or her vulva. Or her vulva/vagina/real. But even better than the other perfume (at least… I hope this is a difference), the Vulva scent also tastes like the real thing.
Um… considering the effect it supposedly had on the male testers, I'm thinking using it to arouse your man… in… some way. And certainly men can use it on their own toys (though you should spot check it with silicone - I'm not trusting this one til someone tells me it doesn't go all melty). I'm not completely sure about women wearing it for perfume. Though I'm almost tempted to see how it spices up my metro ride.
There is a new review in and the guy seems to love it:
This replicates the natural scent of a vagina. Just place a little on the back of your hand and wait a minute before having a sniff… Great for making willy hard.
If you have an iPod with orgasmic sounds, some good porn, a Fleshlight and this… You won't be seen for hours - days even!
A hospital builder tasked with locking up the site was discovered having sex with a Henry the Hoover by a somewhat surprised security guard at Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital, reports The Sun newspaper.
The naked Polish contractor was caught in flagrante on his knees with the smiling vacuum cleaner in the staff canteen and was promptly removed by the security guard after being told to "clean himself and the hoover".
The builder's excuse that he was merely vacuuming his underwear – "a common practice in Poland" – cut no mustard with his bosses, and he went from suck to sack
However, it is possible utilise the power of your vacuum cleaner to deliver incredible orgasms. The Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator has a clitoral stimulator that uses a flow of air to vibrate the clitoris – simply clip it on to your vacuum cleaner and heaven awaits. But do make sure you do this in the comfort of your own home!
I don't even know how it would be possible, but The Sun tells me that one of the most commonly left behind items when people leave their rented homes are sex toys.
People leave behind their sex toys.
"The item most often left by tenants leaving rented property is a SEX TOY, a survey reveals.
Blow-up dolls, condoms and even a pair of handcuffs fixed to a wall were among naughty rubbish landlords found."
Let's not be crazy here, folks. We spend money on our toys. We love them. They love us. They should not be left behind like an unwanted bin bag. If you're leaving them behind because you don't want the movers to come upon them or you don't have room to pack them, grab a cute lockable case to house all your little friends in. But don't just abandon them. They would never do that to you.
If you've thought about leaving them behind because they've lived a full life and have no more service in them, remember to recycle them. Either take them to your recycling centre to be thrown in with electronics (don't be embarrassed--seriously, we've all seen sex toys before) or if you've got a Rabbit, take advantage of the Lovehoney Rabbit Amnesty.
The Wall Street Journal (not a regular read for me, admittedly) brings news that Welch's grape juice is going to be advertised with a lickable advert.
Needless to say, this got us to thinking which Lovehoney products we'd like to see advertised with a peel-and-lick off-the-page promo.
I can barely open any of my email boxes without getting someone sending me a link to Savage Love's newest column on sex toy recycling and etiquette. Why people thought I would be especially interested was because the question writer asked this, in part:
1) What is good sex-toy etiquette? Can you use sex toys in one relationship and then in the next one? Also, when I've been with women, it was NOT okay to reuse sex toys. They died with the relationship. Is it different with heteros?
2) Can you recycle sex toys with your recycling like you would other plastic products?
It's like a dream come true - I come on to the site to take a look around for a little late self-Valentine's gifty and what do I see but a little icon telling me that my purchase will give me "ipoints". I tried not to get too excited until I took a closer look, but it's true - you can now earn points for all your Lovehoney purchases that will let you trade them in for various freebies.
If you've never stumbled across them before, ipoints is a big partnership between quite a few online vendors - you can earn points on any of the associated sites and use them on a wide selection of rewards. For example, spending 250 points will get you a 2 for 1 voucher at Twice the Spice or 2,576 points will get you a 12 month subscription to Glamour magazine. Lovehoney is offering 10 points for every £1 you spend on the site, so you can see it wouldn't take you long to rack up some great freebies - I've got my eye on the candy floss maker. At only 5,760 points needed, that shouldn't be too hard to do with the SinFive line calling my name…
Oh, it's time for men (and women) who love the look of a woman in a high heel to rejoice - the BBC is saying that wearing heels might improve our sex lives. Here I've always thought it was enough that wearing heels made me feel sexier and made me sexier to men, but an Italian urologist who likes her own heels is saying that that isn't the end of it. Apparently, wearing heels helps to strengthen our pelvic floor muscles (those are the ones that contract when you're having an orgasm - you know, the ones I'm always on about the need to strengthen with kegel exercises). Even better, though, is that this benefit seems to come from wearing a nice two inch heel that is more work-friendly than a stiletto: