Laura Leu, freelancer for the New York Press, was asked to report on the subject of 'teledildonics' - the new technology in cyber sex that enables sex toys to be controlled by a computer.
The article was originally to inform readers how these tools could improve the cyber-sex life they shared with their long-distance partner but it soon became a bizarre lesson in male sex toys!
As Laura explained:
"I went with the Virtual Sex Machine, or VSM, a $400 piece of equipment defined on its website as "an interactive virtual reality sexual stimulation system."
Translation: It's a robotic vagina that synchronizes to porn. The VSM comes with a specially encoded erotic film, shot from the viewer's perspective, which allows you to experience the scene as if it's happening to you."
Yes, I am scientifically aware enough to understand that the likelihood of the Large Hadron Collider actually sucking the entire Earth and everything we know into a black hole is 1 in 50 million, but we here at Lovehoney think it's a good reason to celebrate anyway!
Especially as our own technological advances have been released this week, too! Say hello to the BASIC range - which stands for Beginner's All-purpose Sex Instruction Code!
These are a collection of simple, easy-to-use love rings, finger vibrators and bullets that give you a great, cheap way to try sex toys for the first time! They're also perfect for sex toy aficionados who want a sexual boost without breaking the bank!
Small and discreet enough to slip into your handbag, these are practically made for a dirty weekend away!
Philips are adding to their already fantastic repertoire of products with a selection of intimate massagers that are designed with beauty and function in mind.
The collection is listed in a new category on their site known as 'relationship care'. Although rather twee in name, the products look and sound very effective.
The first product in their collection is the Warm Intimate Massager.
This smooth and sleek sex toy has three stimulation spots and five vibration modes and intensities.
The charging base has pre-warming buttons which will heat the sex toy to body temperature for a sensual massage that both you and your partner will love.
The second product in the collection is the Intimate Dual Massagers which comes with two specially shaped toys to enhance your lovemaking.
The toy designed for him is gently curved and contoured allowing the genitals to be cupped and teased at the same time. The toy for her has a single point of vibration allowing precise stimulation of her sweet-spots.
A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF A COCKTAIL FLAVOURED LUBRICANT AND ITS EFFECTS ON MY STATE OF INEBRIATION
A Report by Carly "Pleasure" Drew
ID Juicy Lube Pina Colada Flavoured Lubricant is a 108ml, thick, plastic tube of clear water-based lubricant that stresses the point that it is "for topical cosmetic use only" - which is nearly as polite as saying "use it on your mimsy".
The tube is garish in design and busy with pictures of pineapples, flowers and what appears to be some sort of clam. There is no clam, mussel or any other sea-dwelling mollusc listed in the ingredients, so I will assume that it's purely there for the intention of evoking mental imagery of beaches, holidays and cocktails by the pool.
Upon opening the tube, I instantly recognise the smell of Pina Colada - a mixture of rum, coconut and pineapple juice. It has undertones of sweet maraschino cherries. It's almost syrupy and elegant in essence. It reminds me of evenings with classy beginnings and rather messy ends.
Television presenter, actress, sex expert and author of The Greatest Sex Tips in the World, Julie Peasgood helped out with a feature on The Alan Titchmarsh Show yesterday about the evolution of sex.
During the feature, she explained how cornflakes were originally developed by Dr. Kellogg as a food to lower the libido and how condoms were initially tested for strength by being able to hold the weight of a chair!
We personally think that the electronic testing that condoms go through nowadays is a much better form of trial!
She also went into detail about massager vibrators, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, and how by the 1980s they had become intimate massagers as opposed to just a product to ease back pain!
The Green Blog has just posted an article called Safe Sex Toys Revisited which aimed to updated its readers with information about sex toys and health (following up scares about sex toys and phthalates).
Despite the blog's best intentions, it wasn't entirely accurate or helpful, and still trotted out the totally unsubstantiated line that "sex toys could be cancerous".
You are definitely right to care about what your sex toys are made of just as you should care about what's in your food.
But there is a lot of misinformation and scaremongering on this topic and even Violet Blue's comments reported in the Green Blog aren't entirely accurate.
Philips, the well known makers of televisions, telephones and kettles, have decided to branch out into the world of marital aids.
The first product from the new range is one for couples, namely the Philips Intimate Dual Massager HF8400.
The Philips Massagers are non-penetrative, vibrating toys that are designed with functionality and quality in mind for a vibrator that's a joy, rather than an embarrassment, to buy!
There are multiple vibration modes that are perfect for exploring and teasing each others' sweet spots.
Team it up with a slick and satisfying water-based lube or silicone-based lube for an exceptionally enhanced experience!
It also comes with a discreet, cordless, charging case, much like the Fun Factory Delight Rechargeable Massager, that allows you to recharge your toys all day for long-lasting playtime in the evening!
Second week of September? Where does the time go…?
If you're desperately holding on to the remnants of what was a fleeting summer or trying to forget that Christmas is fast approaching, then the only cure is distraction! And what better way to distract yourself than to get involved in the Lovehoney Community Forums!
There has been lots of discussion over the past week on some fantastic topics ranging from lingerie to lap dance! So here are the best bits for you to take a look at:
Although the competition has now ended, the Caption Competition - Win a Fleshlight thread is packed with great quotes for a good giggle! The perfect topic to brighten up a dull Monday morning!
Everyone has had sex to music at some point, but if you're looking for something a little different, check out the Sexy Basslines thread for some top recommendations. From German industrial to American hip-hop you're sure to discover something new to try your moves to!
Need some lingerie help? Come to the forums and see what advice the community members can offer! This past week there has been discussion of the best PVC/latex lingerie that can be worn as outerwear as well as underwear!
More than 1,000 ejaculations later, the results of Britain's first ever hands-on male masturbation survey are in! We wanted to find out the average number of strokes it takes a guy to ejaculate when he masturbates. The Shootout Survey was a rigorous scientific study that involved more than 1,000 participants.
To help with the research, we sent every subject a sachet of Stroke 29, the masturbation cream that changes consistency on the 29th stroke. Would our subjects keep going past the fabled 29th stroke, or would they pop their peanuts before reaching double digits?
Respondents were asked to bash the bishop and then return to the Shootout Survey Web site to complete an exhaustive questionnaire which asked a series of probing questions about the length and style of the manual manipulation.
We are all very excited here at Lovehoney about the fantastic The New Joy of Sex book!
Not only is it fabulously presented, but it's been updated to encompass all the things that modern couples really want to know about.
The wonderfully detailed chapters explore the all important topics of clitoral pleasure, contraceptives, sex toys, lingerie, bondage and even female ejaculation.
Susan Quilliam, relationship psychologist and sex expert, was given the opportunity to add her expertise to the updated book.
Susan works with the International Journal of Family Planning, the British relationship counselling organisation Relate and innumerable global advisory boards in the field of sexual health and dysfunction, so is more than qualified to undertake the huge and prestigious job of updating the best-selling sex manual in the world!
I caught up with Susan and asked her all about the book and her opinions on sex toys and relationships.