A SHORT REPORT ON THE TEXTURE AND TASTE OF A COMBINATION MASSAGE MOUSSE AND LUBRICANT
A Report by Carly "Pleasure" Drew
Durex Play 2 in 1 Massage Mousse is a 100ml canister of foam-like liquid that is designed to be used firstly as a massage enhancer and secondly as a lubricant.
The can is pretty and sleek with a purple and white printed bubble design. It resembles a tube of deodorant spray or hair mousse, which I realise could potentially lead to some confusion if grabbed from the bathroom cabinet in a hurry in the morning.
Upon opening the tube I realise it's not going to be easy to dispense - the button is stiff and requires some serious force to get it to work. Unfortunately this also makes the mousse spray out in a rather violent manner coating my black shirt in some rather suspicious white stains and ricocheting into my eye, resulting in much squinting and the desperate search for something that isn't covered in mousse to wipe it with.
It also doesn't help that the sound it makes when the dispensing button is depressed is exceptionally loud, causing a lot of attention to be drawn to myself in a very quiet office. The sound is similar to that of a shaken up can of fizzy drink exploding, except without the muttered curse words afterwards.
Whether you want a little user-friendly advice or a full on debate on the merits of certain toys, the Lovehoney Community Forums are the place to be!
This week has seen some very interesting and lively discussion ranging from product suggestions to a written tour of the Lovehoney office!
If any of this sounds right up your street or you fancy taking a quick peek into a lively and burgeoning online forum, then have a look at the following suggested threads:
An old thread that keeps getting revived, and for good reason, is The Anal Sex for Beginners, Any Advice? thread. It's filled with great tips on how to have an enjoyable anal experience.
Which pump? Is another very informative thread that aims to help you in choosing the right pussy pump for you or your partner. With a mixture of official and tried-and-tested advice, you're sure to get the perfect fit for you!
The Magazines thread has sparked some interesting conversation on what different peoples reading preferences are! And it appears that there's not much difference between what men and women like!
Laura Leu, freelancer for the New York Press, was asked to report on the subject of 'teledildonics' - the new technology in cyber sex that enables sex toys to be controlled by a computer.
The article was originally to inform readers how these tools could improve the cyber-sex life they shared with their long-distance partner but it soon became a bizarre lesson in male sex toys!
As Laura explained:
"I went with the Virtual Sex Machine, or VSM, a $400 piece of equipment defined on its website as "an interactive virtual reality sexual stimulation system."
Translation: It's a robotic vagina that synchronizes to porn. The VSM comes with a specially encoded erotic film, shot from the viewer's perspective, which allows you to experience the scene as if it's happening to you."
Yes, I am scientifically aware enough to understand that the likelihood of the Large Hadron Collider actually sucking the entire Earth and everything we know into a black hole is 1 in 50 million, but we here at Lovehoney think it's a good reason to celebrate anyway!
Especially as our own technological advances have been released this week, too! Say hello to the BASIC range - which stands for Beginner's All-purpose Sex Instruction Code!
These are a collection of simple, easy-to-use love rings, finger vibrators and bullets that give you a great, cheap way to try sex toys for the first time! They're also perfect for sex toy aficionados who want a sexual boost without breaking the bank!
Small and discreet enough to slip into your handbag, these are practically made for a dirty weekend away!
Philips are adding to their already fantastic repertoire of products with a selection of intimate massagers that are designed with beauty and function in mind.
The collection is listed in a new category on their site known as 'relationship care'. Although rather twee in name, the products look and sound very effective.
The first product in their collection is the Warm Intimate Massager.
This smooth and sleek sex toy has three stimulation spots and five vibration modes and intensities.
The charging base has pre-warming buttons which will heat the sex toy to body temperature for a sensual massage that both you and your partner will love.
The second product in the collection is the Intimate Dual Massagers which comes with two specially shaped toys to enhance your lovemaking.
The toy designed for him is gently curved and contoured allowing the genitals to be cupped and teased at the same time. The toy for her has a single point of vibration allowing precise stimulation of her sweet-spots.
A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF A COCKTAIL FLAVOURED LUBRICANT AND ITS EFFECTS ON MY STATE OF INEBRIATION
A Report by Carly "Pleasure" Drew
ID Juicy Lube Pina Colada Flavoured Lubricant is a 108ml, thick, plastic tube of clear water-based lubricant that stresses the point that it is "for topical cosmetic use only" - which is nearly as polite as saying "use it on your mimsy".
The tube is garish in design and busy with pictures of pineapples, flowers and what appears to be some sort of clam. There is no clam, mussel or any other sea-dwelling mollusc listed in the ingredients, so I will assume that it's purely there for the intention of evoking mental imagery of beaches, holidays and cocktails by the pool.
Upon opening the tube, I instantly recognise the smell of Pina Colada - a mixture of rum, coconut and pineapple juice. It has undertones of sweet maraschino cherries. It's almost syrupy and elegant in essence. It reminds me of evenings with classy beginnings and rather messy ends.
Television presenter, actress, sex expert and author of The Greatest Sex Tips in the World, Julie Peasgood helped out with a feature on The Alan Titchmarsh Show yesterday about the evolution of sex.
During the feature, she explained how cornflakes were originally developed by Dr. Kellogg as a food to lower the libido and how condoms were initially tested for strength by being able to hold the weight of a chair!
We personally think that the electronic testing that condoms go through nowadays is a much better form of trial!
She also went into detail about massager vibrators, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, and how by the 1980s they had become intimate massagers as opposed to just a product to ease back pain!
The Green Blog has just posted an article called Safe Sex Toys Revisited which aimed to updated its readers with information about sex toys and health (following up scares about sex toys and phthalates).
Despite the blog's best intentions, it wasn't entirely accurate or helpful, and still trotted out the totally unsubstantiated line that "sex toys could be cancerous".
You are definitely right to care about what your sex toys are made of just as you should care about what's in your food.
But there is a lot of misinformation and scaremongering on this topic and even Violet Blue's comments reported in the Green Blog aren't entirely accurate.