A sales bloke from Kelkoo just got in touch with Lovehoney to persuade us to advertise our sex toys on his price comparison site. He was offering a bargain rate and was pleased to let us know that Kelkoo now has a special Adult Entertainment section where XXX-rated products like vibrators, dildos and cat food are kept away from tender young eyes.
Wait a minute. Cat food? Yes, cat food.
For some reason, the powers that be at Kelkoo think that your Adult Entertainment can be enhanced by seductive items such as Whiskas Adult Market Produce in Jelly 24x100g from B&Q, a Folding Deaf / Blind / Low Vision Aluminium Cane Stick from eBay or a John Lewis Coin Purse (Red).
I can just about imagine using a folding cane for a little light bedroom S&M, but that story about the girl who plastered her genitals in cat food is just a variation on an urban myth, right?
And as for the coin purse, surely that's not big enough - why not just put a massive tip jar by the bed and have done with it?
Our friends at Cosmopolitan are running their annual Ultimate Women of the Year Award and are calling on all Lovehoney customers to nominate their Ultimate Women.
Do you have a friend or family member who you think deserves recognition for what they've achieved over the last year?
Maybe you have an amazing friend who's helped you through a tough time, a relative who's done fantastic things for charity, or a colleague who's climbed Everest single-handedly?
Or maybe you've just read about someone in the newspapers who you thought was truly incredible? If so, we'd love to hear from you.
Email your nominee, along with why they should win, to email@example.com.
Big congratulations to the winners of our first Summer Of Lovehoney festival competition. Ellen Sanders and Karen Hankinson will be living it up at Download, experiencing the likes of Rage Against The Machine, Aerosmith, Motorhead, Billy idol, AC/DC and others. Lucky things!
The good news is that if you entered to win tickets for Download and you didn't win, you can retain your points and enter to win tickets for an alternative festival! Simply log in to your Summer Of Lovehoney account and change the festival you would like to win tickets for. Any entries you have earned will then be placed toward your new choice of festival.
Winners not only win two weekend tickets to their chosen festival, they also receive a champagne limo ride to a luxury hotel where they'll receive a £100 gift bundle of Lovehoney toys and spend Saturday night sleeping in comfort before the limo driver takes them back to the festival the following morning in time for the first bands.
The England flags are flying from cars, the over-blown adverts are on TV and Gary Lineker is dusting off his best suit ready to meet Nelson Mandela (probably). The countdown to South Africa has begun!
Celebrate the impending football nuptials by taking our Come on England Sexy World Cup Survey - you could win a £100 shopping spree at Lovehoney.
All you have to do is tell us which of the England squad players you'd like to snog, marry or avoid.
Come on England!
It's a busy week for sexy news, so here's my round up of the stories that had us umming, arring and oohing in the office this week:
Pill to Prevent Premature Ejaculation.
Footballer to Prevent Premature Ejaculation.
Liberal Democrat MP Accused of Being Too Liberal.
Brazilian Health Minister Recommends Sex To Improve Health.
Craiglist in Hot Water Over Sex Ads.
If you love Fridays, then be prepared to 'Love Thursdays' even more. Durex have launched a new campaign which hit the British airwaves on Thursday the 22nd of April 2010. The first condom advert to air in six years, Durex's feel good campaign celebrates all relationships and aims to boost our sexual activity this spring.
In the past month Lovehoney has gone costume crazy with a plethora of sexy and stylish ensembles turning us onto the idea of playing dress up. Roleplay is still a relatively new concept in most relationships and I want to lift the veil and get intimate with the idea of dressing up for sex.
Roleplay is an exciting and easy way to inject some new passion into your sex life. I'm not talking about a quick fumble behind a Jack-O-Lantern at the annual Halloween bash, but planned scenarios involving dialogue, plot, characters, props and costumes.
The start of April closes the first quarter of this year and it's time to look at our UK Sex Map to find out how the forecast is looking with summer just around the corner.
Upminster have been at the top of our Sexiest Towns List since our UK Sex Map went live, but at the close of March 2010 we have a new Sexiest Town spending a cumulative 6.6 times the national average overall on their sex lives!
We recently ran a poll asking you if you would prefer to have sex without love, love without sex or if it just won't do without both.
We've reviewed your votes and can reveal that when it comes to matters of the body and heart, Lovehoney's customers are equally divided.
If you thought Easter was all about religion, bunnies and chocolate eggs you couldn't have been more wrong. This Easter The Resistance Gallery in Bethnal Green is hosting The London Festival of the Art of Japanese Bondage.
The four day event boasts an impressive range of contributors and performers including Esinem, Mistress Amrita and the amazing Kinoko Hajime who will be running classes and demos throughout.