First off, this isn't something I have actually done myself. Having said that, I'll be giving it a shot pretty damn soon!
No, making a sexy tape and playing it for a lover was something a friend of mine did for her second wedding anniversary recently. Hot stuff, huh? I personally think that beats any Swiss Army Knife or personalized silver tankard present, or whatever the hell you're supposed to buy your hubbie/wife according to those ancient wedding anniversary rules.
Apparently, my friend had been watching a porn film with her husband a few weeks before their pending anniversary and one of the scenes inspired her to make a little home recording of her own. It wasn't to shoot her own mini porno, but to record her voice on tape for her husband to play back before their steamy night of, er, re-consecrating their wedding vows…
The main thing you need to remember when making an erotic tape recording is to keep it sexy and let yourself flow. Curt, stifled sexual commands or confessions will sound rigid and anything but erotic, so have a glass of wine and relax before you commit your sexy thoughts to tape. And don't forget that, like most home recordings – be it cassette tape, CD or video – they will be lying around for a long time, so be sure you can trust your partner not to whip it out at his next lads' night in.
Day: Tuesday 19/9/06
Location: In bed
Circumstances: Slow tease before going to sleep
How did he taste? Neutral
Sperm Test Rating: 5 (1=normal, 100=Golden Delicious Apple)
No tasting today peeps. Work then gym then dinner and then… Blog! I need more hours in the day…
Oh yeah, and Monday's are never good for me…. ;-)
Today we had something special planned and we have been very naughty. I sneaked into Jason's work,went into the women's toilets with him and unzipped the Salty Sailor. He was already standing to attention. It had to be a quickie under the circumstances, so no teasing - straight into my mouth.
Unfortunately I didn't get much of a chance to taste it because most of it bypassed my tastebuds completely and was down my throat before I knew it. A couple of drops fell onto my trousers - I kept thinking everyone would see it on my way home and know what a hussy I'd been.
I'm back in the UK, I'm knackered, I'm sunburnt, I'm hungover and I've blown my holiday spending budget. To top it all off, I'm feeling regretful, embarrassed and as though I want to dig a big hole and bury myself in it.
My date with Sasha and her husband was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. And I've made plenty of mistakes in my short time on this earth…
Dressed in my cute printed dress from Mango and a pair of Aldo platforms, I thought it if I walked the 10-minutes to the nearby hotel where Sasha's husband had booked a room, it would help calm my nerves and head-off my overwhelming sense of anticipation. First mistake of the night: throbbing feet and painful blisters does not make one feel sexy.
A very lazy day. Sundays are not really 'us' time as Jason has other commitments and we're always tired from our socialising. So by the time we get to bed, all we both want to do is sleep. I can almost see the disappointment on your faces, but it won't last long - we have something special planned for tomorrow!
I felt pretty rough, so the last thing on my mind for most of the day was sex. However by bedtime things were back to normal. Jason gave me a long back massage, we chatted for a bit, mostly about sex, our likes and dislikes and things to try for the future, and then we got down to business. Jason wanted to please me, so there was no tasting, but I wasn't complaining.
Um… Actually, this is a poem I wrote about Shane…
I don’t sleep well at night, my love,
They say that’s symptomatic of
A guilty mind and restless soul
But I cherish daytime’s wee hours for
The time spent stroking languid limbs,
Admiring curves of muscles and
Kissing soft and milky skin,
Inhaling musky smells of man.
So whilst you’re sleeping, I’m awake
And though I’ve, yes, a troubled mind,
I’m glad for sleeplessness when this
Is time I have you at my side.
This is something I also posted on a website called www.deviantart.com - Shane’s idea. I haven’t logged on to it for ages so I have no idea if anyone has looked at my stuff. I think there must be so much poetry out there you must have to write totally off the wall and brilliant stuff to get noticed – perhaps similar to the world of art…?