If you've ever wanted to know how big Jay-Z's dick really is, or how crap some of the world's biggest rappers are in bed, read this article. I couldn't stop laughing!
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Do you, or anyone you know, use a webcame for erotic purposes? Do you broadcast yourself to an adoring fanbase from the privacy of your own bedroom? If so, I want to hear from you asap. What I have to tell you is very exciting, so if you're into webcams, drop me a line now! x x x
Whether it be to play or sleep, here are some of the outfits that have graced my Egyptian cotton cutwork sheets…
Dreamgirl babydoll with ruffles and matching thong
Hot pink La Senza chemise with no pants
Paul Frank tankini and girl boxers
Pure silk French knickers and matching camisole
Four-inch stilettos and a strip of PVC taped around my boobs and pussy
Black chiffon Agent Provocateur cut-away negligee and matching mini thong
Spunk and lube
A silk ribbon tied around my waist
Wrist and ankle cuffs with adjustable nipple clamps
Cropped spotted pyjama bottoms and cotton vest
Naughty Nurse costume outfit
Black mesh body stocking
Red velvet satin bow court shoes
Candy stripe cotton slip and matching dressing gown
Pink satin Wonderbra, thong and suspender belt with black lace hold-ups
Chocolate body paint
Printed, plunge-neck nightdress and satin pants
Diamonte pubic jewels
Pussy juice and scratch marks
If you have an iBuzz vibrator, get it out now, connect it to your iPod and let it pump away to your favourite dance song, because this wicked story about a horny girl called Jo at Reading festival will make you orgasm before the song is even over.
The following excerpt is taken from a short story called Strawberry Sunday, written by Maria Eppie and published as part of Black Lace Wicked Words 10.
I've just had a new shower fitted in my bathroom. The old shower was one of those useless plastic head things you have to fix onto the ends of both taps, and then you have to just sit there waiting for the slightest trickle of water to wash the bottle full of lather out of your hair. It wasn't much fun, hence the need for a new kick-ass shower.
By no stretch of the imagination have I got tons of money to spare, so one of those luxurious walk-in showers with double Monsoon showerheads wasn't an option. But I did get something similar, albeit with a glass shower door fixed on the side of the bath instead of a twin-door entrance and marble flooring.
When I was a young girl, probably about 15-years-old, I would take the showerhead off the wall and blast water onto my clit until I came. So you can imagine how much I was looking forward to trying this again, having lived so long with a showerhead that could just about blast away my leg-hair shavings, let alone blast my pussy to orgasm.
Female Porn Director Anna Span
On this week's Dirty Talk Show we have the extremely gorgeous and multi-talented Anna Span, female-friendly Porn Director and erotic author, talking about her kinky career and her top tips for how you can make your very own home porn movie!
Bad Kitty: Hey Anna, to begin with, can you give Bad Kitty readers a brief overview of what your job entails?
Anna Span: Since 1998 I have been writing, directing and producing porn films with over 185 scenes made to date. My job includes everything from choosing the models, writing the scripts, camera work and overseeing the editing. In the last year I focused on setting up distribution, too.
BK: Why did you decide to get involved with the porn industry?
AS: Because I have always liked sex, because I knew it was important to add to women's understanding of their sexuality and because I am naturally experimental and this type of film allows you that space to experiment.
Save money on your sexy shopping with this week's special offers. This week only, the Slimline G-Spot Vibe is only £9.99 and comes with free Duracell batteries.
Guys can satisfy themselves with the Monkey Spanker masturbator, which this week comes a free bottle of super-slippery silicone lube worth £4.99.
Lastly, couples can up the ante between the sheets with the Lovehoney Auto Pulsator Power Ring which is £9.99 for this week only.
Switch over to E! channel on Tues 21 Nov, at 9.30pm, to watch Hugh Hefner and his bevy of beautiful playbunnies frolic and tease during their whirlwind trip throughout Europe, in a new series called Girls Of The Playboy Mansion.
There's dog poo, over-zealous paparazzi and Hefner getting up close and personal with one of his favourite bunnies on a gondola ride in Italy. I can't wait!
I had a double one-night stand last night. I don't usually go out on a Sunday night because I'm so wiped out from the rest of the weekend, but I decided at the last minute to go to my local pub with a few people from the flat downstairs.
Apart from a real chav who has moved in with them, they're a cool bunch of people and we often have late night drinking sessions in each other's flats after we've been out for the night. Anyway, one of the girls called Lianne (killer ass and tits) was promoted last week and we decided to extend her weekend celebrations and get some god-awful champagne (whatever they had) from our local.
I was topping up my booze levels from the previous night, and the night before that, so by 10pm I was well on my way to hammered-ville. There really is no excuse for what I did next, but I started flirting with a group of rugby lads who were sitting at the next table. They challenged us all to a game of Killer on the pool table, which involves drinking shots and shooting pool balls – impossible to do if you're already hammered.
One thing you should know about me is that my bravado gets the better of me when I've had a few drinks, so I threw down the gauntlet and said that if we beat them, they would have to be our slaves for the rest of the night. Of course I meant buying and fetching us more champagne and pork scratchings. Boys being boys, and rugby boys at that, they raised the bar. If they won, we'd have to be their sex slaves.
So we played. And we lost… by a country mile. Bollocks! I had no intention of following through on our promise and proceeded to tell them it was just a joke and that they weren't getting anything from us. But they weren't to be denied their prize, and when Lianne and the rest of the girls said they were up for it, I thought it rude to back out and let the side down.
I'll think of some in a minute.