1. Sliquid Swirl Flavoured Lubricant 125ml Nobody likes interrupting a long licking session to shave those nasty artificial lube flavours off their tongue. If licking's turned to gurning for you one too many times, check out what this Orgasm Army reviewer has to say about the natural taste and long-lasting slippery fun of Sliquid Swirl Flavoured Lubricant!

    The most fabled porn move of them all!

    The Private Undoing of a Public Servant 'Let's pretend we're authority figures, bourgeois neurotics, juvenile delinquent and welfare officer, arresting officer with clipboard and handcuffs, personality sex offender and victim turned accomplice. We are aroused by language over touch. This isn't a skin-on-skin affair and I don't think we've even seen each other naked. This is not about bodies.' All of which makes Leonie Martel's The Private Undoing of a Public Servant a very different erotic novel indeed, marrying the usual fem-dom paraphernalia of butt plugs, bondage, lashing and cross-dressing to the tale of a cabinet minister's downfall at the hands of an uncompromising pervert.

    Universal Pump Seal Spotted in the Metro last Monday - Giant Homer in fertility dance. To promote the new Simpsons movie, publicists painted a giant Homer waggling a donut - or something donut-shaped - next to the clay outline of the famously erect Cerne Abbas giant in Dorset. Given its proximity to the Cerne Abbas cock, you'd be forgiven for taking this for a Universal Pump Seal, ready to give the lusty giant an extra-tight grip when he uses his favourite penis pump. Although with a cock like that, does he really need one? Typical Homer. Doh!

    Magic Bullet Mini Vibrator A waterproof, travel friendly vibe that packs one hell of a punch.

    Toy Joy Shagadelic Vibrator If you can't keep Mike Myers' wonky-toothed superspy out of your mind when you're having sex, or you wept into your pillow all night when the cocktus didn't win our Design Your Own Sex Toy Competition, don't fret! Help is at hand with the Toy Joy Shagadelic Vibrator - even if it is a bit pink for this particular Orgasm Army reviewer. Shag now or shag later?

    How to get your partner interested in anal sex

    Anal sex can be scary if you haven't done it before, but it is even scarier for your partner if you have tried it and they haven't. Here's some ways to encourage them to give anal play a go…

    Good Vibrations Large Massage Bar Who needs Oil of Olay when you can rub-a-dub with a Good Vibrations Large Massage Bar, straight from the caring hands of the San Francisco company with thirty years of sexpertise behind them? Not this slippery Orgasm Army customer, although we don't recommend you eat too much of it, even if it does taste goooood!

    Keep things spontaneous and steamy in the bedroom by biting your lover gently and sensually during sex

    What's yours called? We know a lot of you like to give your dildos names, but 'Swirly', the name given by this Orgasm Army reviewer to her Love Labs Spiral Massage Glass Dildo 7-inch, just seems - well, a bit short. Mr Swirly sounds much better to these ears… but you can't argue with her enthusiasm!

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