Orgasms produce one of the most amazing feelings in the entire world. A feeling that your body is awash with pleasure and abandonment, and for those few seconds spanning when your orgasm begins, builds and ends, you forget about absolutely everything else around you.
You could say that having an orgasm is the most natural kinds of stress relief ever, not to mention that the more orgasms you have the more you will have: orgasm begets orgasm, in a sense.
The following excerpt is take from a short story called Footsie 100, written by Heather Towne and published as part of Black Lace's Wicked Words Sex In The Office.
'Karen, your three month probation period is up today. And this is the fourth time in three months that I've caught you daydreaming when you should have been working.' She held up my personnel file and then continued in a business-like manner. 'What are you thinking about when you're supposed to be working, anyway?'
You've let a butterfly tickle your clit. You've let a double bunny's ears massage your anus. But a crab? If the words 'crabs' and 'sex' bring to mind only pictures of unwanted genital infestations, this entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition should encourage you to shrug off your kabourophobian prejudices (that means 'fear of crabs', for those of you who don't want to look it up). Having always been shocked and dismayed by the lack of marine-themed sex toys - just imagine what the eight-armed octopus could do! - we're tickled pink by the idea of the Promiscuous Pincer, 'inspired by the claw of a friendly toy crab'. All together now… aaaah!
Make love not war! While many of the products Lovehoney stocks follow the swords into ploughshares concept - think of the missile-shaped Colt 12-inch Rocket Anal Tool, for instance - few toy ideas are quite as ingenious as this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition. Apparently inspired by unsubstantiated accounts of gay Glasgow gangs adapting some of their favourite weapons in the wake of the first wave of ecstasy use in the late 80s, the knuckle thruster has it all: street smarts, adaptable connectors and vicious chic.
Tired of being fed sugar lumps as you swish your pony tail back and forth? Had enough of eating biscuits from Fido's bowl with your puppy dog butt plug sticking up in the air?
If our collection of novelty butt plugs just doesn't do it for you, or if you've ever dreamed of ravishing maidens with your scaly skin and fiery breath, this also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition would have made your fantasies come true. If it had won … But given the danger of being stabbed by a Christian in an England football shirt as you swagger around in your dragon tail, perhaps this is all for the best!
Remember Weird Science? Inspired by Victor Frankenstein's ill-advised stitch-up efforts but don't fancy unwelcome visits from local law enforcement concerned by your nocturnal graveyard visits?
Lovehoney looks kindly on bedroom scientists, and recognises that those of you looking for a challenge may be less interested in our sex doll range than in putting something together yourselves. We've noticed that if you put together enough of our male masturbators you'll pretty much have a complete, entire person, which you can then take apart and reassemble to your heart's content.
They're furry. They're cute. They have long fluffy tails, and gnaw on acorns in an endearingly teeth-chattering fashion. So why shouldn't squirrels be used as the inspiration for sex toys? This also-ran entry in our Design a Sex Toy competition shows what happens when sex-crazed imaginations are led to gentle woodland idylls, fed cider and given a pad of paper and a pencil. You'll never look at the toothy little critters the same way again. Now otters, that's different: they really are something …
And you thought our happy rhino was weird … The latest sex craze sweeping the nation, according to April 3's The Sun, is couples having sex in furry animal costumes.
Further to a scare in 2001 over levels of phthalates in toys, a recent Greenpeace Netherlands report has brought attention back to the issue. The earlier scare had its effects - in 2005 the EU banned the use of the phthalate DEHP in children's toys, forcing toy manufacturers to develop alternatives - and the more recent Greenpeace research shows that many sex toys still carry high levels of phthalates.
We've done our own research, both before (in our sex toys and phthalates buyer's guide - which links to other scientific research giving a more balanced view of the dangers of phthalates) and since the Greenpeace report. While the existing legislation only applies to toys and childcare articles which children are likely to hold in their mouths for long periods of time, we want our customers to be as confident as possible about buying sex toys, so we sent one of our most popular toys to a lab to have it tested for phthalates.