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  1. funny lovehoney site searches

    There have been 6.9 million unique searches on Lovehoney.co.uk in the past year.

    Most of the words that are typed into the search box at the top of our site are pretty straightforward - cock rings, vibrators and all the other types of sex toy we sell.

    And when customers type in a phrase, we try to present them with the product or page they're looking for. Simple.

    But! Some of the searches are not quite what you'd expect...

    "Anal cockroach"?

    Sorry, we don't have a page for that!

    Or any of the below, which are just some of the 101 funniest, weirdest, and 'whoops you're on the wrong website' searches we found.

    Which Vibrator Gives The Quickest Orgasms

    We've all been there. You wake up from an erotic dream that's left you tingling all over. It would be a shame to 'waste' such incredible imagery – but you've got to be dressed and out the door in ten minutes.

    A scenario like this is my own personal DEFCON 3. What you need in times like this, ladies, is a super-speedy orgasm - and to get one, I highly recommend that you reach for a vibrator.

    Perfect for novices as well as experts, vibrators come in a huge variety of shapes and sizes. They're a fun, non-intimidating sex toy and they're easy to use. However, trying to decide which one will make your toes curl in record time can feel overwhelming.

    Luckily, Lovehoney has got you covered. The Sexual Happiness People set out to uncover which vibrator gives the fastest orgasms. The world's luckiest guinea pig? It was me.

    Hey, it's a tough job but someone's got to do it!

    hair-flick

    We all know that being naked is pretty great, but what about the getting naked part?

    If your undressing style consists of an under-the-covers fumble or you prefer the rip-off-your-clothes-and-go technique, we suggest you try slowing things down a little for a change. And maybe add some music.

    Terrified? Stick with us.

    The idea of being the centre of attention in the buff is, quite literally, lots of people's idea of a nightmare.

    Anyone else have those dreams where you turn up to work/uni/your mother in law's wearing nothing but your knickers?

    Ok, so it might be a bit of a challenge, but stripping for your partner can be unbelievably hot.

    We've put together a handy guide to help boost your confidence and have your lover's heart pounding.

    6 Of The Most Scandalous Books In History

    Whenever you walk into your local high street bookshop, smutty novels are seemingly jumping off the shelves at you.

    You know what I mean - those books with moody, dark covers and generic titles like 'Beautiful Unbound', or something.

    But erotic fiction wasn't always so accessible. The erotic novel dates back hundreds of years before Fifty Shades of Grey burst onto the scene, and until the 1960s it was pretty hard to get your hands on a copy of your favourite filth.

    So, to celebrate the release of Fifty Shades Freed movie (squee!), I flipped through some of history's most scandalous novels to see how they hold up in 2018.

    What's The Best Vibrator for a Sensitive Clit?

    The clitoris is quite fairly seen as a nexus of sexual pleasure for women.

    Everyone has their own tips and tricks for getting the most out of clitoral stimulation, but what is often overlooked is the huge number of people out there with more sensitive clits.

    For those of you who fall into this camp direct, extreme clit stimulation can be overwhelming, but this doesn't need to be a hindrance.

    As with everyone's body, the pleasure attainable from sex and masturbation all comes down to knowing your body and what works for it.

    So I've picked out some of the best vibrators to help you avoid over-stimulation.

    Not only do suspender belts hold your stockings up during the friskiest of trysts and the most energetic stripteases, they also boost your lingerie's sex appeal to eye-watering levels.

    However, if you aren't careful when you clip, you might find yourself with your stockings round your ankles before you've made it to first base.

    We've put together a handy guide to help you master a perfectly put-together look.

     
    Above: Find out how to attach stockings to suspenders in this video from lingerie expert, Sammi Cole.

    Whether you love receiving oral sex and want the real-feel deal during play, or are looking for something to enhance your existing oral sex sessions, Lovehoney has a range of Oral Sex Toys for you.

    Thanks to never-ending sex toy innovation, you can now experience the sensations of someone going down on you, even if you’re playing solo.

    From glans stimulation to deep throating fun and fierce tongue flickers, we’ve put together this guide to help you find the right oral sex toy for you.

    6 Apps That'll Shake Up Your Sex Life

    As a student, I'd be lost without my smartphone. It's an essential piece of equipment for me. How else could I keep up with all my important academic notices like last minute seminar room changes, workshops showing me how to cite correctly, and student union election updates?

    Then, in my free time I play games, keep in touch with friends, search for the name of the person in the current TV series I'm watching to find out where I recognise them from, and browse Lovehoney forums.

    I've also tweeted a large supermarket chain because a relative and I were arguing about what year the local branch opened in our hometown. Behold, all this power and knowledge at my fingertips.

    But wait, I can hear you thinking, if smartphones can do so many awesome things surely there's probably an app for reigniting intimacy? Like autocomplete, I'm already there.

    Here are some of my favourites for boosting your sexual inspiration and adventures.

    Celebrate St Skeletor's Day

    For those of you that dread the coming of February 14th, you can now breathe a sigh of relief that Valentine's Day is over and done for another year.

    But did you know that February 15th is the day of another momentous celebration?

    That's right. The day after Valentine's Day - Anti-Valentine's Day, Singles Appreciation Day or whatever you know it as - is a day to celebrate perhaps the most beloved villain of the 1980s: Skeletor.

    Yep. You read that right. St Skeletor's Day is an actual thing.

    But how do you commemorate such an event, the Lovehoney way? Well, we have picked out a couple of top toys to get you off to the right start. Foiling He-Man is up to you, though.

    art-gallery

    Who heads to an art gallery for the bums, boobs and willies?

    Plenty of people it turns out, and they're prepared to pay a pretty penny for a perfectly etched penis.

    World renowned auction house, Sotheby's, has been hosting Erotic: Passion and Desire, an exhibition of exceptional works dedicated to the naked human body.

    All works in the exhibition go to auction today, February 15th. You'll need a few quid if you're going to put a bid in, and it doesn't look like there's a '20% off when you buy 2' offer!

    With works from Picasso, Klimt, Matisse and more, collectors will be blessed with an abundance of breasts, bottoms, and other beautiful body parts as depicted by some of the most renowned artists from the past and present.

    Here are just a few examples of some the incredible works you can buy either at live auction or online:

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