• Pleasure Seeker Remote Control Egg We've all been there. Those dull parties where somehow you've ended up stuck in a corner with a sweaty stamp collector insisting on running through the entire backstory of Babylon 5 while your partner looks just as bored across the room. Just think how different it could be if you had a Pleasure Seeker Remote Control Egg to hand, either feeling it buzzing unexpectedly deep inside you or making your partner squeal as the witless droning just washes over you.. This Orgasm Army reviewer's seen the light, and we think you should too!

    Become the stars of your very own live sex show… in the comfort of your own home

    Dreamgirl Pearl Thong Oh okay, it's not really a sex toy. But it's got beads (sort of), which is enough for us, and this Orgasm Army reviewer has got us all hot under the collar with his story of how his girlfriend wore it out shopping one afternoon. So the next time you see someone having a hot flush in M & S, shout 'Pearl Thong!' and see if they flinch. Caution: not to be used at the gym! Unless you want a proper workout…

    Big in Japan, this centuries old form of sadomasochism is fast becoming the new sex fad amongst experimental couples

    Anal Vibrating Invader with Cock Cage Boasting a name that would make Mary Whitehouse turn in her grave, the Anal Vibrating Invader with Cock Cage arrived at this particular Orgasm Army reviewer's house before work - in itself an uncharacteristic feat by Royal Mail, credit where credit's due - and it looks like the reviewer couldn't hope to rush home and try it on. Well you would, wouldn't you?

    Seen the word BDSM before but don't know what it means? Here's a general overview to get you up to speed…

    iBuzz Two - no complaints Frankly, we're distraught. Last December, Jonathan Ross featured our iBuzz Two music-activated vibrator, having a good old giggle for a couple of minutes describing how couples can get jiggy with the iPod attachment.

    We'd have thought this might lead to a few complaints from Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, giving us more fuel to pour on our publicity fire. But did anyone object to 120 seconds of sex toy demonstration? No.

    But they did write in to complain about Jonathan Ross describing Nigella Lawson as a MILF. Which is weird - because if you know what the acronym means, why would you be upset by it? And if you don't know what it means, you wouldn't be upset…

    Hold your breath during sex and you may as well not bother trying to orgasm at all…

    Sliquid Swirl Flavoured Lubricant 125ml Nobody likes interrupting a long licking session to shave those nasty artificial lube flavours off their tongue. If licking's turned to gurning for you one too many times, check out what this Orgasm Army reviewer has to say about the natural taste and long-lasting slippery fun of Sliquid Swirl Flavoured Lubricant!

    The most fabled porn move of them all!

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