In the finest Reithian tradition, the bastion of public service broadcasting that is Nuts TV recently delivered a demonstration of everyone's favourite music activated sex toy, the iBuzz Two Vibrator.
Describing the iBuzz as 'teledildonics – sex toys controlled by computers,' the demonstrator gamely attempts to explain the features of this revolutionary sex toy backed by We Are The Cheeky Girls, while the gurning presenters goon around in standard Nuts TV fashion.
See the iBuzz Two Vibrator demonstration on Nuts TV here.
And so begins the season of new products coming to Lovehoney that fill me with burning desire and a desperation to own - I don't know what cycle the new purchasing at LH is on, but I know the site is suddenly chock-full of items that are innovative, sexy, or just darned needed.
I love the thought behind these Karmasheetra Bed Sheets - like the Twister duvet before it, the Karmasheetra manages to make putting linens onto your bed into something a whole lot more fun. I want to own this if only for the jolliness of the little butt prints.
From the pictures, there aren't too many positions to try out - it looks like about seven--but that doesn't change the fun of those positions. I love the idea that you can try out new positions without having to go through the misery of explaining what you want - has anyone ever successfully explained wanting to try out the more advanced positions without falling back on hand gestures and elaborate diagrams? With these, you just pick a number and go to town.
They fit a standard double bed, but they also look like flat sheets, so if you're lucky enough to have a larger bed, you can still make them work for you. Or use it on the floor if you don't have back problems. Or… if you do have back problems. I can never remember if the hard surfaces are considered good or bad. Don't take medical advice from a sex toy blogger, peeps! Not ever!
A little tender loving care will go a long way to ensuring your Fleshlight male sex toy will give you a life-time of enjoyment.
After use, remove the gel Fleshlight insert from the plastic canister and run hot tap water through it to remove fluid deposits.
Towel-dry or air-dry the gel insert.
The gel insert will feel tacky or sticky after washing - this is normal.
To restore the original silky feeling of the insert, powder it with corn starch. Powdering it is not necessary to care for the insert.
To properly re-position the gel insert inside the plastic canister, reach through the small end of the canister and pull the insert down into place.
The Fleshlight male sex toy is a portable, concealable, sturdy male masturbation device. The patented gel insert, made from Real Feel Super Skin, gives a feeling that is amazingly lifelike.
These Fleshlights are Lovehoney customer favourites
It's tempting to grab your Fleshlight and just go at it, but a few moments of preparation can help you achieve a much more satisfying orgasm.
Follow our tips for using your Fleshlight and you'll be enjoying knee-trembling ejaculation before you can say "Fast forward to the money shot!"
I don't even know how it would be possible, but The Sun tells me that one of the most commonly left behind items when people leave their rented homes are sex toys.
People leave behind their sex toys.
"The item most often left by tenants leaving rented property is a SEX TOY, a survey reveals.
Blow-up dolls, condoms and even a pair of handcuffs fixed to a wall were among naughty rubbish landlords found."
Let's not be crazy here, folks. We spend money on our toys. We love them. They love us. They should not be left behind like an unwanted bin bag. If you're leaving them behind because you don't want the movers to come upon them or you don't have room to pack them, grab a cute lockable case to house all your little friends in. But don't just abandon them. They would never do that to you.
If you've thought about leaving them behind because they've lived a full life and have no more service in them, remember to recycle them. Either take them to your recycling centre to be thrown in with electronics (don't be embarrassed--seriously, we've all seen sex toys before) or if you've got a Rabbit, take advantage of the Lovehoney Rabbit Amnesty.
This glass dildo is sublime for either solo masturbation or for use on your lover
Like anyone who has thought about sex toys and sex in general as much as I do on a daily basis, I have often pondered the sex swing idea.
There is definitely something appealing about the idea of weightless (or nearly) movement in bed - just think how long you could last if no one started to get tired or had a leg start to cramp up!
But the more serious ones involved too much bolting and commitment to developing an "I! Have! Sex!" bedroom decor and the less serious ones seemed too flimsy.
After all, what is the fun of putting up a sex swing if only one of you is small enough to be on it?
But now I find myself intrigued by this - unlike a regular swing, the Bonker Extreme Double Sex Positions Swing spans completely across the bed and has four total straps and handles and two seats.
I think the manufacturer's video provided didn't do the product justice. I'm not particularly creative and I have already come up with about five possible positions they didn't showcase (seriously, each pair of supports can hold 350 lbs - the fact that they didn't hoist the man up in the air more often was just a waste).
Unfortunately, it's a bit out of my price range at least until I decide to treat myself grand style, so if any of you are lucky enough to get one, please let me know how it works out. I want to know how high up on my wish list to put it…