Laura Leu, freelancer for the New York Press, was asked to report on the subject of 'teledildonics' - the new technology in cyber sex that enables sex toys to be controlled by a computer.
The article was originally to inform readers how these tools could improve the cyber-sex life they shared with their long-distance partner but it soon became a bizarre lesson in male sex toys!
As Laura explained:
"I went with the Virtual Sex Machine, or VSM, a $400 piece of equipment defined on its website as "an interactive virtual reality sexual stimulation system."
Translation: It's a robotic vagina that synchronizes to porn. The VSM comes with a specially encoded erotic film, shot from the viewer's perspective, which allows you to experience the scene as if it's happening to you."
Yes, I am scientifically aware enough to understand that the likelihood of the Large Hadron Collider actually sucking the entire Earth and everything we know into a black hole is 1 in 50 million, but we here at Lovehoney think it's a good reason to celebrate anyway!
Especially as our own technological advances have been released this week, too! Say hello to the BASIC range - which stands for Beginner's All-purpose Sex Instruction Code!
These are a collection of simple, easy-to-use love rings, finger vibrators and bullets that give you a great, cheap way to try sex toys for the first time! They're also perfect for sex toy aficionados who want a sexual boost without breaking the bank!
Small and discreet enough to slip into your handbag, these are practically made for a dirty weekend away!
Philips are adding to their already fantastic repertoire of products with a selection of intimate massagers that are designed with beauty and function in mind.
The collection is listed in a new category on their site known as 'relationship care'. Although rather twee in name, the products look and sound very effective.
The first product in their collection is the Warm Intimate Massager.
This smooth and sleek sex toy has three stimulation spots and five vibration modes and intensities.
The charging base has pre-warming buttons which will heat the sex toy to body temperature for a sensual massage that both you and your partner will love.
The second product in the collection is the Intimate Dual Massagers which comes with two specially shaped toys to enhance your lovemaking.
The toy designed for him is gently curved and contoured allowing the genitals to be cupped and teased at the same time. The toy for her has a single point of vibration allowing precise stimulation of her sweet-spots.
Lovehoney Community members share their sex tips…
"Masturbation helps to spice things up in your bedroom. Masturbate right before you are going to see your lover - but don't let yourself orgasm - so you'll be incredibly aroused and ready to go as soon as you're together.
Masturbate in front of each other. Show each other what feels good. Better yet, make a game out of it - the first person who reaches orgasm has to fill in the blank.
Women, try rubbing your breasts and nipples while he watches. Look him straight in the eye while doing it. Believe me, it drives us crazy!
When you can't be with your lover, try having phone sex and masturbating together on the phone. Put your partner's hand on top of yours while you masturbate to show them first-hand what you like.
Share a sexual fantasy with your lover while you touch yourself. Better yet, have your lover whisper an exciting fantasy in your ear while you are masturbating!"
Liven up your bedroom antics with our range of Better Sex DVDs.
A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF A COCKTAIL FLAVOURED LUBRICANT AND ITS EFFECTS ON MY STATE OF INEBRIATION
A Report by Carly "Pleasure" Drew
ID Juicy Lube Pina Colada Flavoured Lubricant is a 108ml, thick, plastic tube of clear water-based lubricant that stresses the point that it is "for topical cosmetic use only" - which is nearly as polite as saying "use it on your mimsy".
The tube is garish in design and busy with pictures of pineapples, flowers and what appears to be some sort of clam. There is no clam, mussel or any other sea-dwelling mollusc listed in the ingredients, so I will assume that it's purely there for the intention of evoking mental imagery of beaches, holidays and cocktails by the pool.
Upon opening the tube, I instantly recognise the smell of Pina Colada - a mixture of rum, coconut and pineapple juice. It has undertones of sweet maraschino cherries. It's almost syrupy and elegant in essence. It reminds me of evenings with classy beginnings and rather messy ends.
Television presenter, actress, sex expert and author of The Greatest Sex Tips in the World, Julie Peasgood helped out with a feature on The Alan Titchmarsh Show yesterday about the evolution of sex.
During the feature, she explained how cornflakes were originally developed by Dr. Kellogg as a food to lower the libido and how condoms were initially tested for strength by being able to hold the weight of a chair!
We personally think that the electronic testing that condoms go through nowadays is a much better form of trial!
She also went into detail about massager vibrators, such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, and how by the 1980s they had become intimate massagers as opposed to just a product to ease back pain!
Eastenders' Stacey Slater wore a rather fantastic tight, gold catsuit for Bradley's Bond-themed 21st birthday bash in the show last week! Stacey, played by actress Lacey Turner, dons the slinky costume and sets about wow-ing everyone at the party in it!
The Green Blog has just posted an article called Safe Sex Toys Revisited which aimed to updated its readers with information about sex toys and health (following up scares about sex toys and phthalates).
Despite the blog's best intentions, it wasn't entirely accurate or helpful, and still trotted out the totally unsubstantiated line that "sex toys could be cancerous".
You are definitely right to care about what your sex toys are made of just as you should care about what's in your food.
But there is a lot of misinformation and scaremongering on this topic and even Violet Blue's comments reported in the Green Blog aren't entirely accurate.
Lovehoney Community members share their sex tips…
"My boyfriend goes wild with my hand job with a twist.
Let your man lie on his back with his penis resting on his stomach and take your hand and cup his testicles gently.
Then, using your other hand, move the palm of the hand up and down the underside of the penis.
Once he is getting excited, make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and use this to pump up and down with it. When you get to the top, close the ring.
Now allow him to squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. I recommend using lube for messy fun!"
Give him a special treat with a Masturbation Lube.