OK, so it sounds like we're trying to create our own one-of-a-kind Googlewhack, but I assure you we're not.
This great line is from Lovehoney customer Postillionager's review of the Supersex Strokerwhich details, briefly but amusingly, his attempt to get some satisfaction from our best-selling male masturbator.
Ultimately he decides it's not for him because he can't wash it out (he just needs to turn it inside out, silly!), but that's not going to stop us giving Postillionagerthe Review of the Month award and the £100 Lovehoney shopping spree that goes with it.
Congratulations! Now, where did I put that octopus…
You can read the full review on the Supersex Stroker product page here.
If you’d like to swallow make sure you check out your new guy’s sexual history first, and then familiarise yourself with how he tastes and feels.
Whether you're looking for a way to add some interest to the World Cup finals or you just want to show your undying love for England, we have the perfect gift for you (and your partner).
The Scoregasm I Love England Remote Control Love Egg has a remote control that works up to 30 feet away so you can buzz your partner every time that England score - or every time the ball goes out for a throw-in if you can take that much excitement.
It's smartly presented in an England themed heart-shaped gift box and comes complete with batteries so you're good to go straight out of the box.
Scoregasm is just one of many exclusive sex toys available at Lovehoney!
Pjur have always been one of the big names in the world of sexual lubrication, but their new launch is sure to please a large proportion of the population who have been looking for a more natural way to enhance their sexual pleasure.
Pjur Med is a range of products that have been developed with health in mind, meaning they all adhere to medical certificate and quality requirements.
Designed as a solution to everyday issues that real men and women contend with, Pjur Med's range is designed to overcome vaginal dryness, heighten the female libido, massage hypersensitive skin and assist in virility issues AS WELL as making sex that much more fun.
Our bodies may not always respond as quickly as they used to, but the freedom that retirement offers leaves more time to play…
Adult toys come in all shapes, sizes and colours, but we recently took stock of a new collection of vibrators designed not only to be functional, but to be beautiful. Tickler are so confident in the aesthetics of their new range that each of their vibes comes with its own display stand. Are you daring enough to have one (or all) of these vibes standing pride of place on your bedside table? I think I might be!
The England flags are flying from cars, the over-blown adverts are on TV and Gary Lineker is dusting off his best suit ready to meet Nelson Mandela (probably). The countdown to South Africa has begun!
Celebrate the impending football nuptials by taking our Come on England Sexy World Cup Survey - you could win a £100 shopping spree at Lovehoney.
All you have to do is tell us which of the England squad players you'd like to snog, marry or avoid.
Come on England!