It's been a surprising week of lust, monsters and arresting developments in your sex toy reviews this week. But what exactly were the hits and misses, and what bad behaviour would warrant a restraining order? Read on to find out.
This week's sex toy review round up
Enjoying the classic Tracey Cox Supersex Stroker was Satoshi who found that a little bit of lube made for a magic combination. "Add a tiny bit of silicone lube in a wet setting however and this stroker turns into a shower monster!" Read the review.
Writing an excellent, sex boffin review of the Lust Dust Triple Pack with Brush was toycar69. "This works best on a slightly moist surface. One word of warning though: the first moist surface that comes to mind is probably not a good idea, as this stuff is basically sugar." Read the review.
Englishrose pointed out the message of the Wild Orchid 10 Speed Motion Sensor Massager's packaging, which could lead to a spell in prison. "I don't however, recommend following the box's recommendation: "Touch a secret partner just close by…" That sort of thing is liable to get you arrested and slapped with a restraining order…" Read the review.
Got some free time this weekend? Or need to relax after some hectic Christmas shopping? Why not test out some sex toys and let everyone know how it went by adding a new review.
Erotic massage is the perfect way to connect physically and emotionally with your lover, as explained in Lovehoney's video guide to using massage candles. A perfect gift for your lover with the promise of a massage to follow, choose from our high quality massage candles, as showcased by Lovehoney's Annabelle Knight in this weeks Sex Toys TV Highlights.
It takes between 15 - 30 minutes for the candle to melt enough for you to start your massage - you'll no doubt find a way to pass the time. Once liquified, the candle will transform into a slowly absorbing, high-slip massage lotion.
Indulge in Lelo's deliciously scented Flickering Touch Massage Candles. Choose from either Snow Pear & Cedarwood, Vanilla & Creme de Cacao or Black Pepper & Pomegranate to add some fragrant sensuality to your love making.
If you're looking for a unique gift that will be truly appreciated and treasured, it's time to give your relationship the gift of incredible foreplay.
In the age of night shifts, school runs and overtime, the pressure is on to fit in as much as we can into as little time as possible, but sex is not somewhere to cut corners. A quick rush and fumble and we're down to the deed? We think not!
So why not put the brakes on coital speeding, slow it down, and learn to linger in the moment (with a little help from Lovehoney, of course)?
To help you on your way to better foreplay and sex, here are a few sexy gifts and games to inspire you.
Above: Are you looking for a sexy gift for your lover? Let Sammi Cole take you through her top picks for romantic sex game gifts in this video guide.
Much hilarity in last Friday's Peep Show when hapless lothario Mark tried to make up for his lack of prowess in the bedroom by introducing a dildo called "Kenneth" into a tentative romantic liaison with Dobby.
Readily identifiable by dildo connoisseurs at Lovehoney as a Doc Johnson Classic Dong, the veiny beast spent the episode languishing in Mark's pants and socks drawer, deployment in his sex tryst postponed by the death of Dobby's ex's mum.
Mark described the dildo as being 9 inches long, but we're not sure that Doc Johnson does a balls-free non-suction-cup dong in 9 inches. 8 inches, yes, 10 inches, yes. But 9 inches? We don't think so.
Perhaps Mark was referring to the insertable length. He could be a connoisseur after all.
If you're baffled by basques or confused by corsets, Lovehoney's easy lingerie guidewill explain everything. Armed with this information, choosing the perfect lingerie to make you or your partner feel sexy and confident should be easy.
We've split this guide into structured lingerie (basques, corsets and other figure-hugging and body-sculpting garments) and unstructured lingerie (flirty, feminine and comfortable lingerie like babydolls, chemises and camisole sets) to suit your mood or your partner's style. We also explain the different types of knickers, thongs and G-strings as well as sex-on-legs hosiery (from stockings and suspenders, to bodystockings and tights).
Reviewing a counter and dice game the (S-E-X Dice Game) was the aptly named chipNroll. Making a fantastic point about erotic games she says, "nobody wants their brain to be their hardest working organ during a sex game." So did it hit the mark? Read the review.
Buying the perfect Christmas present for your lover can be a stressful and daunting task, which is why Lovehoney has hand-picked a selection of our best-selling Gifts and Games to add some sexy fun and frivolity to your festive celebrations.
Whether you make a present of yourself in a Naughty Knot Sexy Body Bow, expand your sexual repertoire with new sexual positions or indulge in some festive foreplay, you'll find the ideal gift with Annabelle Knight in this week's Sex Toys TV Highlights.
As seen on Alan Titchmarsh and Jerry Springer! Make a present of yourself with this clever giant sash designed to turn you into a perfectly wrapped gift. And you can guarantee someone special will want to unwrap you.
Anyone can learn the love secrets of the Kama Sutra. This game of skill and love is based on the ancient teachings of the East. A game for two lovers that teaches wisdom, respect and closeness through the medium of mutual pleasure and exploration.
A raunchy dice game. Divide action chips between the players and then take turns to roll the dice. If each die collectively spells the word 'SEX' you have to perform three foreplay activities to act out on the player of your choice.