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It's been a surprising week of lust, monsters and arresting developments in your sex toy reviews this week. But what exactly were the hits and misses, and what bad behaviour would warrant a restraining order? Read on to find out.
This week's sex toy review round up
Enjoying the classic Tracey Cox Supersex Stroker was Satoshi who found that a little bit of lube made for a magic combination. "Add a tiny bit of silicone lube in a wet setting however and this stroker turns into a shower monster!" Read the review.
Something's been troubling the randy rabbit, who reviewed the Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulator Rabbit Vibrator. "The box size alone gave me palpitations." But how did the rabbit perform in the end? Read the review.
Writing an excellent, sex boffin review of the Lust Dust Triple Pack with Brush was toycar69. "This works best on a slightly moist surface. One word of warning though: the first moist surface that comes to mind is probably not a good idea, as this stuff is basically sugar." Read the review.
Englishrose pointed out the message of the Wild Orchid 10 Speed Motion Sensor Massager's packaging, which could lead to a spell in prison. "I don't however, recommend following the box's recommendation: "Touch a secret partner just close by…" That sort of thing is liable to get you arrested and slapped with a restraining order…" Read the review.
Got some free time this weekend? Or need to relax after some hectic Christmas shopping? Why not test out some sex toys and let everyone know how it went by adding a new review.
Erotic massage is the perfect way to connect physically and emotionally with your lover, as explained in Lovehoney's video guide to using massage candles. A perfect gift for your lover with the promise of a massage to follow, choose from our high quality massage candles, as showcased by Lovehoney's Annabelle Knight in this weeks Sex Toys TV Highlights.
It takes between 15 - 30 minutes for the candle to melt enough for you to start your massage - you'll no doubt find a way to pass the time. Once liquified, the candle will transform into a slowly absorbing, high-slip massage lotion.
Find out more: Sex Toy Guide: Massage Candles
Annabelle Knight guides us through Lovehoney's range of massage candles, perfect for a soothing and sensual massage with their warm skin-safe wax oil.
Find out more: Massage Candles
Indulge in Lelo's deliciously scented Flickering Touch Massage Candles. Choose from either Snow Pear & Cedarwood, Vanilla & Creme de Cacao or Black Pepper & Pomegranate to add some fragrant sensuality to your love making.
Find out more: Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle
If you're looking for a unique gift that will be truly appreciated and treasured, give your relationship the gift of incredible foreplay.
In the age of night shifts, school runs and overtime, the pressure is on to fit in as much as we can into as little time as possible, but sex is not somewhere to cut corners. A quick rush and fumble and we're down to the deed? We think not!
Coital speeding is a sexual happiness offence, so it's time to slow down the pace and learn to linger.
If you're having issues with self control or still think that foreplay is just a prelude to sex, then here is your wake up call.
Foreplay is as important to sex as sex is. In fact, for many people, foreplay and sex are all one and the same thing, so it's never been more important to get these skills honed.
To help you on your way to better foreplay and sex, here are a few sexy gifts and games to inspire you.
Above: Are you looking for a sexy gift for your lover? Let Sammi Cole take you through her top picks for romantic sex game gifts in this video guide.
Much hilarity in last Friday's Peep Show when hapless lothario Mark tried to make up for his lack of prowess in the bedroom by introducing a dildo called "Kenneth" into a tentative romantic liaison with Dobby.
Readily identifiable by dildo connoisseurs at Lovehoney as a Doc Johnson Classic Dong, the veiny beast spent the episode languishing in Mark's pants and socks drawer, deployment in his sex tryst postponed by the death of Dobby's ex's mum.
Mark described the dildo as being 9 inches long, but we're not sure that Doc Johnson does a balls-free non-suction-cup dong in 9 inches. 8 inches, yes, 10 inches, yes. But 9 inches? We don't think so.
Perhaps Mark was referring to the insertable length. He could be a connoisseur after all.
Oh, and guys, if you're thinking about introducing a sex toy into the bedroom for the first time, maybe try something a little smaller to start with.
Disguised as a torch (or flashlight, hence the name) a Fleshlight is a top-notch male sex toy that enhances masturbation or adds an extra dimension to foreplay for couples. Within the outer casing is a soft and stretchy sleeve that is made from an extremely lifelike material that simulates the unmistakable feel and intense sensations of sex.
If you've never thought about using a male sex toy to aid your solo play, you'll find a Fleshlight will revolutionise your experience. This guide will help you find the best Fleshlight for you - they all offer something different.
If you're baffled by basques or confused by corsets, Lovehoney's easy lingerie guidewill explain everything. Armed with this information, choosing the perfect lingerie to make you or your partner feel sexy and confident should be easy.
We've split this guide into structured lingerie (basques, corsets and other figure-hugging and body-sculpting garments) and unstructured lingerie (flirty, feminine and comfortable lingerie like babydolls, chemises and camisole sets) to suit your mood or your partner's style. We also explain the different types of knickers, thongs and G-strings as well as sex-on-legs hosiery (from stockings and suspenders, to bodystockings and tights).
Testosterone Deficiency Syndrome affects many men over the age of 50 and can be treated in most cases.
It's been a crazily busy week, with huge numbers of sex toy reviews being submitted. Are you all tucking into your Christmas stocking early, by any chance?
This week's sex toy review round up
Kicking proceedings off this week is toycar69 who reviewed the Doc Johnson Sasha Grey Pocket Pussy. Girls, look away now (or prepare to wince) as "it's now starting to look a little worse for wear around the entrance: poor little Sasha now has a perineal tear." Read the review.
A triangulated Christmas present with a difference, Tupperwareheart gives us the lowdown on the Aurora illuminating Quiet and Smooth Massager. "Unless you’ve dated someone who has a toblerone in their pants, the Aurora will be a completely new sensation." Read the review.
Nattily-named Giraffe tongue inadvertently lets slip his favourite James Bond-esque spying technique in his review of the Tracey Cox Supersex Sensation Stroker. "Make sure that no one is holding a glass to the wall next door…" Read the review.
Reviewing a counter and dice game the (S-E-X Dice Game) was the aptly named chipNroll. Making a fantastic point about erotic games she says, "nobody wants their brain to be their hardest working organ during a sex game." So did it hit the mark? Read the review.
It was vintagefree who gave us the one-liner of the week in their review of the His and Hers Vibrating Rocket and Ring Kit."Grab on to your knickers girls, and get ready to yank them off!" Seems like this kit was an instant hit! Read the review.
Have you treated yourself to some early Christmas presents? Let everyone know how you got on with your sparkly new toys by adding a new review.
Buying the perfect Christmas present for your lover can be a stressful and daunting task, which is why Lovehoney has hand-picked a selection of our best-selling Gifts and Games to add some sexy fun and frivolity to your festive celebrations.
Whether you make a present of yourself in a Naughty Knot Sexy Body Bow, expand your sexual repertoire with new sexual positions or indulge in some festive foreplay, you'll find the ideal gift with Annabelle Knight in this week's Sex Toys TV Highlights.
As seen on Alan Titchmarsh and Jerry Springer! Make a present of yourself with this clever giant sash designed to turn you into a perfectly wrapped gift. And you can guarantee someone special will want to unwrap you.
Find out more: Naughty Knot Sexy Body Bow
Anyone can learn the love secrets of the Kama Sutra. This game of skill and love is based on the ancient teachings of the East. A game for two lovers that teaches wisdom, respect and closeness through the medium of mutual pleasure and exploration.
Find out more: Kama Sutra Card and Dice Sex Positions Game
A raunchy dice game. Divide action chips between the players and then take turns to roll the dice. If each die collectively spells the word 'SEX' you have to perform three foreplay activities to act out on the player of your choice.
Find out more: S-E-X Dice Game