How To Write Great Sex Toy Reviews For Lovehoney

How To Write Great Sex Toy Reviews For Lovehoney

by Lovehoney

on 17 May 2012

You can win a £100 prize and receive free sex toys when you write a sex toy review at LovehoneyLovehoney has over [[stats:reviews]] sex toy reviews – making it the biggest resource of sex toy reviews in the world.

By reviewing sex toys on Lovehoney, you automatically enter our monthly competition to win £100 to spend on Lovehoney, and can also register to become a Sex Toy Tester. Only the best reviews will win competitions and earn tester products, so this guide will help you write a great review.

When you review your purchases on Lovehoney, your aim is to give other people the information that they can’t find on the product page: an opinion on how it performs and whether you think it’s worth spending the money on.

The best reviews are those that help someone else make an informed decision about the right toy for them. It doesn't matter whether you loved a toy or thought it was awful, the most important thing is to describe how it made you feel and what someone else would find if they bought the same item.

Remember to use your item a couple of times before you pass judgement on it. First impressions do count, but you might find your opinion changes (for better or worse) after a couple of sessions.

When writing a sex toy review for a Lovehoney, think about the following things:

If I could sum up a toy in three phrases, what would I say?

The main thing other people want from your review is your personal experience - in a nutshell. “Amazing when used as a clitoral stimulator during penetration”, “woefully lacking in power”, “incredibly and pleasurably tight” are important things you want to say about the toy and even more importantly, they’re things that customers want to know.

Is the information already covered on the product page?

If there are photos of the packaging, you don’t need to describe it for five paragraphs. If the measurements and materials are listed, you don’t need to state them unless there’s something important to add e.g. “6 inch circumference doesn’t sound much, but when combined with the material this feels like a really girthy toy”.

It's much more important to comment on things people's can't tell from measurements - how noisy was it, how strong were the vibrations?

If you think Lovehoney's got something wrong in the details, contact us so we can double check.

Am I waffling?

Lovehoney customers read a few reviews to get a balanced view, so don't usually spend much time reading each one. Make sure your 'pros', 'cons' and 'bottom line' cover the key points, for the skim readers.

The best reviews are between 4 and 10 paragraphs in length, so If you wrote your review for your blog, cut it down to the most important points for Lovehoney.

Am I being too explicit?

Seems like an odd question to ask when you’re writing a review of a sex toy, doesn’t it? Other shoppers don’t want to know the ins and outs of your anatomy when it comes to a sex toy review, so try to keep it out of the realms of a biology class or a porno flick.

What if I'm submitting a video review?

If you're submitting your review as a video, there are a few extra things to think about.

  1. Please film in LANDSCAPE format
  2. Videos should be less than 2 minutes long
  3. Please submit as an Mp4 file
  4. Video resolution should be no higher than 1280x720
  5. File should not exceed 200Mb
  6. Ensure the video is clear with good lighting and sound
  7. Be a sensible distance from the camera - your video should show your face and torso
  8. Show as much of the product as you can from every angle
  9. Film against a tidy, non-distracting background
  10. Submissions should be sent to

For more information on submitting a video review, check out our full Guide to Sex Toy Video Reviews.

And finally

Re-read your review when you have finished and make sure you have:

  • Explained what the product does.
  • Described the product's best/worst features.
  • Described your experience using the product.
  • Explained why the product would (or wouldn't) be right for someone else.
Video: Did you know that Lovehoney is the largest database of sex toy reviews anywhere in the world? In fact, we've received over 200,000 reviews telling us what you love (and what you don't) when it comes to sex toys.
In this week's vlog, Jess and Roy play 'Guess the Sex Toy' using your reviews!

Write a sex toy review now


Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on 17 May 2012. Updated on 5 Aug 2020