Prostate Orgasms: How Can Men Have Multiple, Non-Ejaculatory, Full-Body Orgasms?
on 9 Feb 2022
The Lovehoney Forum is host to a wealth of sex tips and advice from its members, and we are very excited to welcome a few as guest bloggers to share their knowledge, experience and passion about a variety of sex topics. Talking about prostate orgasms, we welcome UKLovingCouple as our first forum guest blogger.
What is a Prostate?
The prostate is a part of the male reproductive system and is located beneath the bladder. The prostate produces and contains fluid that forms part of semen. In contrast to anal sex toys, prostate sex toys are designed to focus pressure on the prostate, which is located only an inch (or two) inside the anus.
What is a Prostate Orgasm?
The main differences between a penis orgasm and a prostate orgasm are:
Where a penis orgasm has a refractory period (where you can usually only have an ejaculatory orgasm once in a session) you can have multiple prostate orgasms because you do not ejaculate, so there is no refractory period.
Where a penis orgasm is focused on the groin area and lasts for 5 to 10 seconds, a prostate orgasm takes place across your entire body and can last for several minutes, making it more similar to the orgasms of a person with a vulva.
Where a penis orgasm is triggered by stimulating your penis, prostate orgasms require you to not touch your penis (in fact, most men will not have an erection in prostate stimulation/orgasm) but to only focus on your prostate and the rest of your body.
What are the Best Prostate Toys?
There are two types of prostate sex toys:
Prostate dildos: These are sex toys that you hold in your hand and that are specifically designed to curve at the perfect angle to stimulate your prostate. An example would be the njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo.
Hands-free massagers: Once you have these prostate massagers inserted into your anus, you do not have to touch them. Instead, you move them by breathing and contracting your muscles. An example would be the collection of Aneros prostate massagers.
How to Give Yourself a Prostate Orgasm
There is lots of advice about how to give yourself prostate orgasms (with either dildos or hands-free massagers, which have two different approaches) but I thought it would be useful to write a step-by-step of how I have given myself prostate orgasms with a prostate dildo, specifically the njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo.
Please bear in mind that it took me several attempts to have my first prostate orgasm. So please take your time, look after your body and enjoy the process of searching for this orgasm, because once you have discovered how to have one, you will be absolutely amazed.
I start by making sure that I have at least an hour free to commit to focusing on my prostate massage, which means making sure that I have a private space to myself and no distractions. You need to be 100% focused on how you feel and the pleasure in your body to give yourself an amazing, full-body prostate orgasm.
First, I make sure I warm the njoy Pure Wand under a tap. The stainless steel can get quite cold so it is best (for me) that it is not freezing cold before using it – but I make sure that it is only slightly warm, not too hot.
Also, I make sure that I have been to the toilet at least an hour before starting the prostate massage. It is very important that you have emptied your anus and rectum of any faeces before you insert a dildo or massager into you.
I lay out a large towel across my bed, take off my clothes and lie on my back (on the towel) with my head on a pillow and my knees in the air. I have my feet flat on the bed near my bottom, which will help with inserting the dildo.
Once you are in position and holding your dildo, make sure you put a considerable amount of lubricant on the end of the dildo and directly onto your anus. The more lubricant the better, as it will help make the dildo move more easily.
Slowly press the end of the dildo against your anus, taking your time and making sure that you are in a turned-on mood. You will need to be turned on for your body to let you have pleasure and experience prostate orgasms.
When ready, slowly insert the bulb end of the prostate dildo an inch inside your anus, so that the bulb is placed directly against the prostate, which (in this position) will be above the dildo but beneath your stomach/penis. I cannot stress how important it is to not push the dildo any deeper than this – the prostate is not far inside you!
Once the dildo is inside you by only an inch and resting against your prostate, this is as deep as you will ever need to go inside you. The motion that you make with the dildo (and, as with any stimulation, this can start off slow and then move faster only when you feel the need to massage your prostate faster) is a curved, upwards motion. This is basically causing the bulb of the dildo to move upwards, slightly angled, towards the prostate.
When massaging your prostate with a dildo, the only movement you need to make is a slight up-and-down motion. Over time, following the feelings of pleasure that push you closer and closer towards the feeling of orgasm may lead you to have a prostate orgasm. You can hold the dildo at the other end with one or two hands.
Importantly, do not ever touch your penis! You may be tempted to and you may think that this will help, but the prostate orgasm only happens by stimulating the build-up of prostate fluid. If you stimulate your penis you will move this fluid away from the prostate, which will mean that you will not have a prostate orgasm. Don’t touch it!
Watch Out! (Wet Prostate Orgasms)
When doing this technique, you might feel yourself getting closer to needing to ejaculate from your penis (even though it is likely to be flaccid) and if you push forward towards this feeling, you can give yourself a short burst of a wet prostate orgasm, which will be an ejaculation of prostate fluid from your penis.
This can feel pleasurable and, unlike a semen ejaculatory penis orgasm, you can do this multiple times in one session, but if you do this it will be much harder to give yourself a dry prostate orgasm, as the key to giving yourself a prostate orgasm is to build up the fluid in your prostate. By doing this you release it all.
If you want to go for a dry prostate orgasm, when you feel this urge to ejaculate you should relax on massaging your prostate, slow down, calm down and make sure that you dodge/avoid giving yourself a wet prostate orgasm. This may be difficult, but after you avoid this, you will be closer to your dry prostate orgasm.
Dry Prostate Orgasms
After massaging your prostate for a while and slowly building the feeling of pleasure more and more, you may feel 'prostate waves'. These are pleasurable feelings, caused by massaging your prostate, that feel amazing and are a great sign that you are moving closer towards the big orgasm. For experienced individuals, it may only take a few minutes but for beginners, it can take 45 minutes to an hour to achieve this.
You will soon feel (almost out of nowhere) that you are on the verge of the most amazing orgasmic feeling, which is not the same as the feeling of being close to ejaculation. This orgasm feeling takes over your mind, your body and everything about you is urging you to move your dildo with the exact precise movement and speed to push you closer and closer towards pleasure, until...
Out of NOWHERE, you feel the non-ejaculatory, full-body (and I mean full-body, across every part of you!) orgasm that (to me, at least) feels massively more pleasurable and amazing than any penis orgasm. When you are in the process of orgasming, you will likely continue to massage your prostate (almost without even thinking about it) and you will be very surprised by how long it can last – several minutes, or in some cases longer!
Eventually, after an incredible, full-body orgasm, you will slowly start to feel your mind return back to reality and you will notice that a) you are still flaccid even though it was the most pleasurable feeling b) you are exhausted (I would definitely recommend if you spent an hour working towards this orgasm, that you take a break) and c) you have the most amazing post-orgasm feeling inside you. Congratulations! The next time you have your session, you should find it is much easier and quicker to give yourself a prostate orgasm.
After you have finished your session, make sure that you put your towel in the wash (check your bedsheets as well) and thoroughly clean your dildo. I would recommend that you have a shower and clean the lubricant from your lower body and anus. Once you are clean, stay relaxed and enjoy the post-orgasm feeling.
What Can I Do If I'm Struggling to Have a Prostate Orgasm?
This is very common (and normal) for the first time, especially if you have only ever had penis orgasms, which are very different. These are my best tips and advice:
Make sure you are positioning the dildo/massager on the prostate. It is very easy to insert the sex toy too deep inside you (which will make it much less likely for you to orgasm) so only insert it an inch inside your anus.
Watch out for wet prostate orgasms. I’ve already mentioned this and although they feel really great, you will struggle to give yourself a dry, full-body prostate orgasm if you have ejaculated all of the prostate fluid out of you. I find that when you are close to a wet orgasm, you are actually very close to a dry orgasm, so if you can avoid the wet orgasm (which will take a few minutes of restraining yourself) you will be close to the big one.
If you do find that there is some faecal matter on the sex toy, do not worry or get upset about it (it is a risk of massaging inside your anus). I would recommend stopping your session, cleaning your sex toy thoroughly and going to the toilet. If you do want to start your prostate massage again, it might be best to wait 30 minutes (or an hour) before starting again. This will give your body time to clear out the faecal matter. Then start from the beginning.
Lastly, GOOD LUCK!
Prostate orgasms are an amazing discovery for people with penises who have never experienced full-body orgasms. If you put in the practice, take your time and read up on the best technique for you, it will be the most amazing and exciting sexual discovery! There is lots of fun to be had with different positions, different prostate orgasms (wet and dry) and with different sex toys. Have fun and please share your advice with other people, maybe even on the Lovehoney Forum.
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