Held every year at the start of December, this literal 'booby' prize honours the worst-written sex scene from the fictitious offerings of the past year.
Over the years, some absolute corkers have made the shortlist and gone on to take home this somewhat dubious accolade. Who can forget Morrisey's "giggling snowball of full-figured copulation", the winning scene from 2015? Or the deeply erotic sight of, "her passport [rising] gradually out of the back pocket of her jeans in time with the rhythmic bobbing of her buttocks" from Tom Connolly's 2016 finalist entry?
With 2019's winner due to be announced later today, we decided to challenge the Lovehoney writers to attempt their own award-worthy bad sex scene, complete with clumsy metaphors and deeply unsexy settings.
Who do you think should win the title of Lovehoney's Smutkateer-in-Chief? Let us know in the comments below!
Whenever you walk into your local high street bookshop, smutty novels are seemingly jumping off the shelves at you.
You know what I mean - those books with moody, dark covers and generic titles like 'Beautiful Unbound', or something.
But erotic fiction wasn't always so accessible. The erotic novel dates back hundreds of years before Fifty Shades of Grey burst onto the scene, and until the 1960s it was pretty hard to get your hands on a copy of your favourite filth.
So, to celebrate the release of Fifty Shades Freed movie (squee!), I flipped through some of history's most scandalous novels to see how they hold up in 2018.
So, in case you missed it, this week Universal Studios released the first sneak peak into Fifty Shades Darker, and suffice to say, it's got us pretty darn excited!
After watching the trailer many, many times (that shower scene!) we started to notice a few hidden messages. Could they be telling us more than initially meets the eye? Are we making this up as we go along? Who knows?!
Either way it gave me an excuse to spend all afternoon looking at Christian Grey. #ItsAHardLife
So, for your pleasure, I've compiled my top 8 revealing set details which I reckon tell us even more about what we can expect to see in Fifty Shades Darker in February.
It's not your usual literary pairing, granted, but you'd be surprised just how much Fifty Shades of Grey and Harry Potter have in common.
No wait! It's true.
Both series of books are filled to the brim with outrageous innuendos (and wands), so we thought it would be fun to separate the fans from the megafans, the Gryffindors from the Greys, the Nimbus 3000s from the floggers (you get the picture) with this ridiculously hard quiz.
The 16 quotes in our challenge are taken from either the Fifty Shades trilogy or one of the Harry Potters.
You just need to decide which.
Please let us know your score in the comments section.
Oh, and prepare to have your favourite children's book ruined.
Think you can't learn any more about sex? Think again!
Our book of the month for May is a collection of the renowned Kama Sutra positions along with their modern variations, special artwork and erotic stories.
Considered the lovemaking manual for the 21st century, The Mammoth Book of the Kama Sutra by Maxim Jakubowski talks you through all the original Kama Sutra moves, along with over 50 more for you and your lover to enjoy together.
When you pick up The Mammoth Book of the Kama Sutra from Lovehoney during May, you'll also receive a free massage candle. Candles are perfect for setting a romantic atmosphere, and the special wax in this strawberry scented massage candle melts to a skin-safe massage oil to take your foreplay to new heights.
Tracey Cox is Britain's most renowned sexpert, sex author and relationship agony aunt. You may also recognise her as the designer of two of our best-selling sex toy ranges: Supersex (sex toys and bondage for couples) and Edge (stamina training for men).
Hot Sex: How To Do It is the first of Tracey's 15 books about sex and relationships, and a classic tome in its own right. Talking you through the ins-and-outs of sex in her unique, witty writing style, Tracey uses interviews and glossaries to give an overview of everything sex you need to know.