5 Ways to Turn Up the Turn-On
Sometimes, sex just seems to happen. Other times, getting into the right mindspace is a little more difficult - especially after a day of meetings, an hour spent in traffic or a weekend enduring your in-laws.
Creating the right mood and environment, whatever that means to you, can really help, so we've put together a few tips to help you set the scene for sexytime.
It may take a little bit of planning and communication, but when you're basking in that post-bonk glow, you'll be delighted you made the effort.
1. Sensual surroundings
Take a look around your bedroom. Does that stack of bills or overflowing laundry basket make you feel frisky? Probably not, eh? Let's not even talk about that weird stain on your duvet.
Creating an environment where you feel at ease and in control will help you focus on pleasure – and not on how much housework you should be doing.
Make the bed the focus of the room, and as inviting and comfortable as possible. You're much more likely to want to roll around between soft, clean sheets.
Think about the temperature, too – if your bedroom is freezing you might want to dive under the covers, but the last thing you'll want to do is get naked.
The same goes if it's too hot and stuffy - you won't want to do anything that might mean breaking a sweat.
You're (probably) going to be touching each other, but what about involving your other senses?
Aromas can help spark arousal, and some are even said to have aphrodisiac powers. Light a scented candle, or warm up by rubbing a delicious-smelling massage oil into each other's skin (if it's lickable, all the better).
A bright, overhead glare can be harsh and offputting, but a warm glow is both flattering and relaxing. Flick the dimmer switch or swap your bulbs out for something softer.
Some people love a little background music when they're getting it on (an old housemate of mine would do the do to the Pirates of the Caribbean theme!) while others would rather hear their partner's moans and groans.
If you are into an accompaniment, create a playlist that's long enough to last an hour or two, rather than setting your Spotify to shuffle – or you may be caught off guard by the Village People.
3. Texting (and sexting)
Never underestimate the seductive powers of a suggestive text, sent in the hours before you see each other.
The best sexts should be suggestive and playful, while still leaving a little to the imagination.
If being explicit over text isn't your (or your partner's) thing, simply telling your lover you can't wait to see them will make them feel desired and fill their head with thoughts of what's in store.
Speaking of phones, if you find yourself distracted by yours, switch it to flight mode or banish it from the bedroom when you're together, and ask your partner to do the same.
Email notifications, Instagram updates and buzzing from the bedside table can be distracting and make your partner feel low on your list of priorities - especially if you pause mid-tryst to check the football score.
4. (Un)dress to impress
Wearing lingerie your partner hasn't seen before, or that satin basque or pair of boxer shorts they adore is a great way to show them you care about their enjoyment.
And when people feel cared for, they're bound to feel more relaxed.
Plus, wearing something you feel great in can boost your confidence and help you lose your inhibtions, too.
When you feel relaxed, you'll be surprised how quickly the niggles and distracting thoughts that were stopping you from letting go will disappear, so you can be more present in the moment.
If you're not sure what to go for, take a look at our sexy lingerie buyers' guides, for info on styles, sizing and finding the perfect gift.
5. Have a laugh
Both laughing and sex spark biochemical reactions which lower the levels of stress-causing hormones like cortisol, and cause your serotonin and endorphin levels to soar.
Going to see some stand-up comedy, watching a funny film together, or just unwinding with a glass of wine and reminiscing about fun times should help you feel relaxed, playful and in the mood for fun.
Playing a game like Nookii and Kinky Confessions can help lighten the mood and can ease you into a sexy situation - perfect if you need to unwind slowly and create mental distance between you and the office, or you haven't been intimate for a little while.
Take a look at our selection of sexy games for couples, and see if something catches your eye!
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