Top 9 Sexy Secret Santa Gifts
£5 and under
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1. Penis Pasta 200g (£4.99)
100% durum wheat pasta shaped like silly willies. They look small to start with, but cook them in boiling water and they grow enough to be completely filling.
Highlights:
Definite growers, not showers!- Tasty plain pasta for jazzing up your favourite meals
- Easy to cook (everyone knows how to cook pasta, right?)
- A fun way to get extra (vitamin) D in your diet
- The King or Queen of Take-Aways
"Me and my partner like to just mix it in with normal pasta when guests come over and wait to see the look on their face when they realise there's lots of little penises in their pasta."
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2. Candy G-String (£5.99)
Stop the fighting about where to go for dinner, and opt to eat in (or out) with this oh-so-sweet candy thong. Made from the same tasty candy as retro edible necklaces, these novelty knickers are ideal for adding some delicious fun to foreplay.
Highlights:- A fun throwback to candy necklaces, but for grown ups
- One size fits most
- Also available: candy posing pouch, bra, nipple tassles and cock ring
- The One with the Sweet Tooth (and Dirty Mind)
"The candy panties are the most amazing tasting, and they come with instructions and tips - oh so fun! My boyfriend had a blast with these, and it was fun for him to eat them off me. He says they're very tasty, he couldn't get enough of them"
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3. Fever Hold Ups (£4.99)
From bedroom to fancy dress party and everywhere in-between, enchant all you meet in Fever's sheer white hold up stockings. These Mrs Claus-esque classic white hold ups feature a thick thigh band and are finished with cute red bows.
Highlights:- Festively fun and perfect for xmas dress up
- One size fits most
- Under £5 and not edible
- The Christmas-Obsessed Fancy-Dresser
"Fit well, both on my long legs and the wife's shorter chunkier legs. Haven't tried these without suspenders, but they are quite stretchy, so don't know how well they would hold up."
£10 and under
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4. Bondage Boutique Red Furry Handcuffs (£9.99)
Fluffy on the outside, hardcore on the inside. Just like Chuck Norris' beard these furry cuffs pack a punch. Within the soft faux fur exterior is a set of lockable metal handcuffs for reliable restraint with a cosy embrace and, in red, they're oh-so festive!
Highlights:- Metal handcuffs with faux fur covering
- Safety catch and 2 keys
- 4 colours to choose from: red, pink, purple and black
- The Quiet One
"For the size and price these are little fluffy miracles. You must buy them! They instantly add that little something to bedroom activities and were a turn on straight away for me and the Mr."
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5. Lovehoney Oh! Kama Sutra Playing Cards (£5.59)
When you're playing with these carnal cards, you'll struggle to keep a poker face whatever hand you're dealt. Taking inspiration from the original Kama Sutra, each card features a different position for you to explore, ensuring everyone comes up trumps.
Highlights:- Full 52-card deck with 2 joker cards
- Each card features a different Kama Sutra position
- Great for better sex, hilarious card games and x-rated magic tricks
- The Gamer
- The Yoga Pro
"I bought these and a cheeky little stocking filler at Christmas, and boy am I glad. My BF and I love to play rummy and we have just started using these instead of the other cards. It's great fun!"
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6. Lovehoney Unwrap Me Men's Thong (£7.99)
Presenting the perfect package, this provocative thong from the Unwrap Me collection is the gift of all gifts.
Highlights:
Its daring opening to the front is tied with a soft satin bow that's easy to tug open with fingers, toes or teeth...- G-string with posing pouch for generous packages
- Ribbon unties to reveal Santa's sack
- One size fits most
- The Show Off
"I wore it Valentine's morning and then later when my girlfriend pulled off my jeans and saw it... her eyes lit up! Let's just say I haven't seen anyone so eager to grab something since the first time I went to Nando's!"
£20 and under
- Novelty penis-patterned mug
- Perfect secret Santa pressie
- Ideal size for a stocking filler
- Festive giggles... and tea!
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8. Desire Luxury Orgasm Balm (£19.99)
Get sleigh bells jingling and sexy bits tingling with our Desire luxury Orgasm Balm this Christmas. Dab a little bit of this thrilling menthol-infused concoction onto clitoris, nipples or penis and enjoy new pleasurable sensations.
Highlights:- Luxurious infused balm for sexy play
- Increases sensitivity where you want them most
- Discreet 30g pot ideal for travel
- The Foreplay Lover
"When I first put it on, straight away I felt the warm tingling sensation, it creates that tingle you get when you're horny. I'm being honest here, it's powerful stuff."
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9. Lovehoney Oh! Hot Knots Beginner's Bondage Game (£14.99)
A great cheeky gift for a giggle and some inspiration for foreplay and sex, the Lovehoney Oh! Hot Knots Beginner's Bondage Game lets you explore each other in a variety of activities. You will both get your turn thanks to 'switch' cards that allow you to shift which player is in control.
Highlights:- Thrilling bondage-style card game
- 4-piece set with cards, blindfold, satin ties and safety instructions
- Great for spicing up game night
- The Risk Taker
"This game worked wonders and definitely spiced up an already active love life, it allowed us to try out things we haven't done before,, giving in to sensual temptations and most importantly have a lot of fun in the process."
7. Penis Pattern Novelty Mug (£9.99)
This lovely mug is perfect for a secret Santa gift. Decorated with a marvellous myriad of tiny weiners, it's takes a delightfully dirty mind to appreciate this members only mug!
Highlights:"The penis pattern is very small, so at a quick glance, you can't really tell what it is. But it does make me chuckle every time I look at it closely."
